# In praise of John Ashcroft **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 18, 2007, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555 "2007-05-18T03:49:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/81 "2007-05-19T02:57:39Z")
Amazing that we now think of John Ashcroft as the glory days for the DoJ. And to think I once naive enough to think that Gonzales could only be an improvement. The Might Eagle now looks like Bobby Kennedy in comparison. Well at least it can’t get any worse than Gonzales… ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/82 "2007-05-19T03:12:20Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Well at least it can’t get any worse than Gonzales… [/QUOTE] Oh now, now we’re fucked. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/83 "2007-05-19T03:22:53Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Ok, so the man had some kind of marble breast phobia [/QUOTE] _Please_, the breasts in question were **Aluminum** , not marble. It says that [right here](http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002/01/29/statues.htm), and there’s a **picture**. Does that _look_ like a marble breast? It’s all shiny and _silvery_! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/84 "2007-05-19T04:05:18Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Ok, so the man had some kind of marble breast phobia, but he apparently understood that his personal political and religious beliefs did not necessarily have to play a roll in his job. [/QUOTE] Can’t even tie that to him, anymore. According to [TPM Muckraker](http://www.tpmmuckraker.com/archives/003166.php) (sourced from _National Journal_), it was star-witness-to-be Monica Goodling who acted to cover up those massive mammaries. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/85 "2007-05-19T11:13:05Z")
[QUOTE=Liberal] And people said Reagan was the Teflon President. Bush is slicker than a Sunday green at Augusta. [/QUOTE] I’d go with catshit on linoleum, except that there’s probably something useful about catshit on linoleum. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/86 "2007-05-19T11:26:47Z")
[QUOTE=Squink] _Please_, the breasts in question were **Aluminum** , not marble. It says that [right here](http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002/01/29/statues.htm), and there’s a **picture**. Does that _look_ like a marble breast? It’s all shiny and _silvery_! [/QUOTE] Must take a lotta NOXON to keep em puppies shiny! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/87 "2007-05-19T12:42:36Z")
[QUOTE=Squink] _Please_, the breasts in question were **Aluminum** , not marble. It says that [right here](http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002/01/29/statues.htm), and there’s a **picture**. Does that _look_ like a marble breast? It’s all shiny and _silvery_! [/QUOTE] Aluminum? Jeez, no wonder they got covered up. Aluminum breasts might blind sombody staring at them in the wrong light. I’m sure it was a safety issue. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/88 "2007-05-19T13:50:19Z")
[QUOTE=11811] Must take a lotta NOXON to keep em puppies shiny! [/QUOTE] And long hours of buffing. By hand. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/89 "2007-05-19T14:45:30Z")
[QUOTE=Squink] _Please_, the breasts in question were **Aluminum** , not marble. It says that [right here](http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002/01/29/statues.htm), and there’s a **picture**. Does that _look_ like a marble breast? It’s all shiny and _silvery_! [/QUOTE] The article says it costs $2,000 every time they _rented_ drapes to cover the statue. How can that be? They must have been installed by a half dozen hookers, who then blew all the senior JD officials behind the curtains. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/90 "2007-05-19T22:47:41Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Well at least it can’t get any worse than Gonzales… [/QUOTE] Hey, guys! Check out this cool job offer I just got! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/91 "2007-05-19T23:05:36Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > Well at least it can’t get any worse than Gonzales… I hear Harriet Miers is available. ---
**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2007, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/92 "2007-05-20T02:26:15Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Well at least it can’t get any worse than Gonzales… [/QUOTE] Paul Wolfowitz is going to be looking for a job soon. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2007, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/93 "2007-05-20T02:38:37Z")
[QUOTE=Frostillicus] Paul Wolfowitz is going to be looking for a job soon. :eek: [/QUOTE] and Scooter will really need one in a few years. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/94 "2007-05-23T18:57:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Q Thank you, sir. There’s been some very dramatic testimony before the Senate this week from one of your former top Justice Department officials, who describes a scene that some senators called “stunning,” about a time when the wireless – when the warrantless wiretap program was being reviewed. Sir, did you send your then Chief of Staff and White House Counsel to the bedside of John Ashcroft while he was ill to get him to approve that program? And do you believe that kind of conduct from White House officials is appropriate? > > PRESIDENT BUSH: Kelly, there’s a lot of speculation about what happened and what didn’t happen; I’m not going to talk about it. It’s a very sensitive program. I will tell you that, one, the program is necessary to protect the American people, and it’s still necessary because there’s still an enemy that wants to do us harm. > > And therefore, I have an obligation to put in place programs that honor the civil liberties of the American people; a program that was, in this case, constantly reviewed and briefed to the United States Congress. And the program, as I say, is an essential part of protecting this country. > > And so there will be all kinds of talk about it. As I say, I’m not going to move the issue forward by talking about something as highly sensitive – highly classified subject. I will tell you, however, that the program is necessary. > > Q Was it on your order, sir? > > PRESIDENT BUSH: As I said, this program is a necessary program that was constantly reviewed and constantly briefed to the Congress. It’s an important part of protecting the United States. And it’s still an important part of our protection because there’s still an enemy that would like to attack us. No matter how calm it may seem here in America, an enemy lurks. And they would like to strike. They would like to do harm to the American people because they have an agenda. They want to impose an ideology; they want us to retreat from the world; they want to find safe haven. And these just aren’t empty words, these are the words of al Qaeda themselves. > > And so we will put in place programs to protect the American people that honor the civil liberties of our people, and programs that we constantly brief to Congress. Uh, yeah, knowing whether you ordered the AG to harrass someone in the hospital or not would be a remarkably vital piece of intel the terrorists could use against us. :rolleyes: Prick. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/95 "2007-05-23T18:59:55Z")
[QUOTE=ArchiveGuy] Uh, yeah, knowing whether you ordered the AG to harrass someone in the hospital or not would be a remarkably vital piece of intel the terrorists could use against us. [/QUOTE] We have met the terrorists and they are us. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/96 "2007-05-23T19:03:00Z")
Is it possible the real George Bush is stashed away somewhere and they’re running a robot with a tape loop in his place? ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/97 "2007-05-23T19:13:26Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Is it possible the real George Bush is stashed away somewhere and they’re running a robot with a tape loop in his place? [/QUOTE] For some time I’ve had the sinking feeling that the “robot with a tape loop” is the real George Bush. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/98 "2007-05-23T22:18:09Z")
[QUOTE=BobLibDem] In fairness to Bush, you can’t expect something to stick if it isn’t thrown. The mainstream media has pretty much ignored the whole story. [/QUOTE] But _The Daily Show_ sure had fun with it! Didja see their skit, using a Spanish-language soap opera?! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/99 "2007-05-23T23:16:27Z")
I have met Ashcroft in person (I started some threads leading up to when he spoke at my school). I asked him a question that he gave a vague non-answer to. I have to say, after hearing his speech and apparently being very intimidated by students, I have no respect for the man. He seriously came off as a pawn of the government, trying to claim that that PATRIOT Act was merely the same thing we’ve been doing to drug dealers for years, just now applied to terrorists (no qualifier, even, of suspected terrorists). If Ashcroft did stand up against the wiretapping, good for him, but I wonder why he was approving it in the previous cycles. What new information could he have possibly recieved that would change his mind? I’m sorry if I came off a little too strong, but my respect for Ashcroft, which was already in the toilet, plummeted to the earth’s mantle after hearing him speak. (I got that from somebody’s sig, don’t remember who. My apologies for stealing.) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2007, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555/100 "2007-05-23T23:49:58Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] Is it possible the real George Bush is stashed away somewhere and they’re running a robot with a tape loop in his place? [/QUOTE] :: takes a long drag on my pipe :: I don’t know where you get that idea. I find the entire notion absurd. I find the notion that I might have something to do with such an undertaking even more absurd. And no, you cannot have a tour of my basement. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-john-ashcroft/404555.md?page=6)