# In Praise of Marge Simpson

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [January 24, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835 "2008-01-24T17:48:58Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\
**Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/1 "2008-01-24T17:48:58Z")

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Sure we have Homer and Bart as the comedic foils of the show. But the family glue is Marge. I think it is time we came to praise Marge Simpson for her selfless acts as a wife and mother. Seriously, who else would take on the DNA of their spouse when they got married? Marge did. Who else would keep a spare sandich next to the bed for Homer emergencies? Marge does. Who else dotes on her son as her “special little guy” despite his delinquent ways? Marge, of course.

Yes, she has had issues, with gambling and more gambling, depression and stress. But in the end she always finds solace in her oafgish husband, troublemaking son, butt-insky daughter, and rambunctious baby.

Plus she is kinda hot.

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/2 "2008-01-24T18:10:43Z")

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She saved the family from the Movementarians! It’d be a pretty dull show if she hadn’t done that. She was a regular action hero in that one.

Marge was also thoughtful enough to remember that Homer would forget to get her a Christmas present, and to buy him something to give to her so he wouldn’t beat himself up over it.

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/3 "2008-01-24T18:17:45Z")

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Marge does get her funny lines in from time to time.

Homer: Oh, look at me, I’m making people happy! I’m the Magical Man! From Happy Land! In a gumdrop house on Looooollipop Laaane!  
[slams the door]  
Oh, by the way, I was being _sarcastic_. [slam]  
Marge: Well, duh.

Marge’s topper is a victim of syndication cuts, most of the time, which ruins a really funny moment.

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**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\
**Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/4 "2008-01-24T18:38:37Z")

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Marge definitley doesn’t get many good lines- my favorite is her comment when she is obviously spooked by the visage of the Count from Sesame Street on TV:

“Go back to your own country” 🙂

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**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\
**Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/5 "2008-01-24T19:43:48Z")

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“_Eight_ spices, some of these must be doubles. Or-e-ga-no?..what the Hell?”

“You might say, the secret ingredient, is _salt_.”

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**Author:** ![RedSwinglineOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9adbd/32.png) [@RedSwinglineOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedSwinglineOne)\
**Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/6 "2008-01-24T19:55:10Z")

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Marge responds: “Of course you’ll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.s.”

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**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\
**Post date:** [January 24, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/7 "2008-01-24T22:59:42Z")

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I like Marge’s no-nonsense attitude. A couple favorite moments:

Bart and Milhouse are sending a hamster up into “space” in a model rocket. Cut to the hamster astronaut’s ‘wife,’ in Jackie Kennedy pillbox hat, looking sad. Marge makes some comment about the hamster leaving behind a wife and five children.  
Bart: She already ate three of them.  
Marge: _That’s_ sensible.

–  
The family has just endured an overly long sermon at church and are in the car on the way home.  
Bart suggests they go Catholic so they can at least have some communion wafers and wine.  
Marge: Nobody’s going Catholic! Three children is enough, thank you.

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/8 "2008-01-25T04:37:30Z")

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I just heard a great Marge line in _The Homer They Fall_.

“Homer, of all the crazy ideas you’ve had, this one ranks somewhere in the middle.”

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**Author:** ![Smid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/838e76/32.png) [@Smid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smid)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/9 "2008-01-25T09:52:29Z")

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Bart: Mom, what if there’s a really bad crummy guy who’s going to jail but i know he’s innocent?

Marge: Well Bart, your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying “Shoot 'em all and let God sort them out.” Unfortunately one day he put his theory into practice. It took seventy-five Federal Marshals to bring him down. Now let’s never speak of this again.

Bart: Mom, What if I can get this guy off the hook? Should I do it?

Marge: Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn…

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**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/10 "2008-01-25T13:21:11Z")

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I use the expression “Shoot 'em all and let God sort them out” all the time to mean do something big without getting everything organized beforehand.

My favorite Marge scene was the one in “Homer’s Phobia” where she was giving Homer a cue about John’s sexuality.

Homer: That John is the greatest guy in the world. We’ve gotta have him  
and his wife over for drinks sometime.  
Marge: Hmm, I don’t think he’s married, Homer.  
Homer: Oh, a swinging bachelor, eh? Well, there’s lots of foxy ladies  
out there.  
Marge: Homer, didn’t John seem a little… festive to you?  
Homer: Couldn’t agree more. Happy as a clam.  
Marge: [insisting] He prefers the company of men!  
Homer: Who doesn’t?  
Marge: Homer, listen carefully. John is a ho - mo…  
Homer: Right.  
Marge: … sexual.  
Homer: [pause] Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Homer: Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod! Oh my god! I danced with a gay! Marge,  
Lisa, promise me you won’t tell anyone. Promise me!!  
Marge: You’re being ridiculous.  
Homer: Am I, Marge? Am I? Think of the property values. Now we can never  
say only straight people have been in this house.  
Marge: I’m very sorry you feel that way, because John invited us all out  
for a drive today, and we’re going.  
Homer: Woah-ho-ho, not me! And not because John’s gay, but because he’s a  
sneak. He should at least have the good taste to mince around and  
let everyone know that he’s… that way.  
Marge: What on Earth are you talking about?  
Homer: You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my  
homosexuals fa-laming.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/11 "2008-01-25T13:27:18Z")

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If you knew what she gets up to during the day, while Homer is at work, and who she is doing it with I think you would change your opinion of her. Desperate Simpson Housewives, indeed.

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/12 "2008-01-25T16:01:34Z")

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[QUOTE=don’t ask]  
If you knew what she gets up to during the day, while Homer is at work, and who she is doing it with I think you would change your opinion of her. Desperate Simpson Housewives, indeed.  
[/QUOTE]

That sounds like a decent idea for an episode. Although, unfortunately for satirists, Desperate Housewives peaked and started waning pretty fast.

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/13 "2008-01-25T16:31:23Z")

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Well, she and Lisa did seem _unusually_ concerned about Carl (or was it Lenny?) when they heard he’d been injured. Marge even did a crossstitch for him.

A favorite line:

Marge: “You know how I feel about fake kidnappings!”  
Homer: “STILL?!?!?!?”

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**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\
**Post date:** [January 25, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/14 "2008-01-25T19:32:37Z")

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Whenever I despair about the state of the world and particularly whenever I am sad about the USA, I think of Marge Simpson and I KNOW, deep down in the deepest recesses of my heart, that any nation that can produce a Marge Simpson is a great nation after all.

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**Author:** ![Frostillicus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Frostillicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frostillicus)\
**Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/15 "2008-01-26T03:18:20Z")

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Marge has always been a quick thinker under pressure. For example, remember when she accidently cut off Homer’s thumb and then called the police?

Marge: “Help. I cut off my husband’s thumb.”

Wiggum: “Tell us your address so that we can come and arrest you.”

Marge: “Uhhhh, I live at 123 Fake Street.”

Wiggum: “123 Fake Street. Got it.”

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**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\
**Post date:** [January 26, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/16 "2008-01-26T18:10:53Z")

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Marge has one of my all time favorite lines:

“Stop it! Stop it! Can’t you see this barnyard noise guessing game is tearing us apart?”

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**Author:** ![Smid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/838e76/32.png) [@Smid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smid)\
**Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/17 "2008-01-28T14:09:01Z")

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[QUOTE=Marley23]  
That sounds like a decent idea for an episode. Although, unfortunately for satirists, Desperate Housewives peaked and started waning pretty fast.  
[/QUOTE]

Whereas the Simpsons did that about 1998…

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/18 "2008-01-28T14:18:18Z")

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[QUOTE=Smid]  
Whereas the Simpsons did that about 1998…  
[/QUOTE]

You needed to bump this thread back up to give us that priceless chestnut, eh? Thanks. 😛

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Smid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/838e76/32.png) [@Smid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smid)\
**Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/19 "2008-01-28T15:25:19Z")

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[QUOTE=Marley23]  
You needed to bump this thread back up to give us that priceless chestnut, eh? Thanks. 😛  
[/QUOTE]

Sorry I didn’t realise that attendance on a weekend was mandatory.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [January 28, 2008, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-marge-simpson/434835/20 "2008-01-28T15:41:39Z")

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[QUOTE=Smid]  
Sorry I didn’t realise that attendance on a weekend was mandatory.  
[/QUOTE]

Well, I’ll let you go this time, but I’m still going to have to ask you for a bribe.

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