# In praise of small boobs

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 27, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272 "2006-07-27T15:52:49Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/21 "2006-07-27T19:41:36Z")

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Interrupting a discussion of boobies for a damn geography/language lesson is a bannable offense! This one is getting reported.

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**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/22 "2006-07-27T19:58:58Z")

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> [@OneCentStamp](#):
>
> Make mine a nice A cup on \*\*a flat stomach \*\* and I’m golden.

_Bolding mine_

Add an ass you can bounce a quarter off, sexy legs and you’ve got my complete and undivided attention. Not to mention appreciation bordering on worship.

😃

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**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/23 "2006-07-27T20:02:09Z")

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> [@934spe](#):
>
> I don’t think there has been a pair of boobs I have seen and said to myself, “Boy, I wish I hadn’t seen those.”

I have ☹ I still feel sad when I think of that poor girl. Some quack plastic surgeon should have his weiner “enhanced” by someone who is as big a quack as he is. Breasts shouldn’t have five-inch red scars visible years after the operation. ☹

Enjoy,  
Steven

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**Author:** ![934spe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/90db22/32.png) [@934spe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/934spe)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/24 "2006-07-27T20:08:08Z")

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> [@wm--](#):
>
> The one we have been waiting for, he who will _lead_ us… has arrived.

A leader I might not be, but a boob lover, I am.  
Maybe I should start a cult. If you would like to send me…errr I mean our group (BLA, boob lovers association) $1, email me and we will work out the details… All donations are tax deductible, I guess…

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**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/25 "2006-07-27T20:20:05Z")

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It doesn’t matter. Boobs whoop a horse’s ass with my belt.

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**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/26 "2006-07-27T20:26:04Z")

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> [@OneCentStamp](#):
>
> Make mine a nice A cup on a flat stomach and I’m golden.

The A-cup is a turn-on, yep, yep, yep … but I do prefer just the hint of a tummy. There’s something about the taut roundness of a nubile 22-year-old’s belly that promises fertility and invites insemination. And just enough round, firm bottom to fill one’s hands … aw, crap, hold on a minute …

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**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/27 "2006-07-27T20:36:49Z")

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> [@Least Original User Name Ever](#):
>
> It doesn’t matter. Boobs whoop a horse’s ass with my belt.

I’m sure somewhere, somewhen, this makes sense. However, after reading your posts in one of the starlets threads, maybe I don’t wanna know…  
🆒

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**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/28 "2006-07-27T21:19:55Z")

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> [@D\_Odds](#):
>
> They were mute? That must be a first, because every set of breasts with which I’ve had the pleasure of being acquainted shouted that loud and clear. As a matter of fact, I still hear all the shouts, every minute I’m out in public, but I’m helpless to do anything about it

I would call you schizophrenic except for the fact that I hear them too. And they all call out to me in their native languages:

\*“Oye, chico. Miranos…somos las tetas a tu izquierda.”

"Regarde-nous…nous sommes les tetons de la fille dans la voiture rouge…\*

We’re all going crazy. 😃

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**Author:** ![934spe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/90db22/32.png) [@934spe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/934spe)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/29 "2006-07-27T21:33:05Z")

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How about pierced nipples? Since we are talking boobs here… How does everyone feel about finding a ring or stud running through said nipple?..  
You all know how I feel… (repeat the credo after me…) “I just like boobs. I like em all…”

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**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/30 "2006-07-27T21:42:13Z")

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> [@934spe](#):
>
> How about pierced nipples? Since we are talking boobs here… How does everyone feel about finding a ring or stud running through said nipple?..  
> You all know how I feel… (repeat the credo after me…) “I just like boobs. I like em all…”

Funny you should mention that. The topic of my OP to this thread has a small gauge curved barbell through each nipple. _She also has a ring in her left inner labia, but that’s for another thread._🆒

I think she looks and feels awesome in them. Since her breasts are small, and her frame athletic and almost androgyne (from the waist up), the barbells give her a vaguely “S&M shop” look. It’s an entirely different vibe than a pair of huge melons would have with the same piercings.

Is it clear yet from this thread that I am physically smitten with this girl? :D:D:D

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**Author:** ![934spe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/90db22/32.png) [@934spe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/934spe)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/31 "2006-07-27T21:50:51Z")

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> [@OneCentStamp](#):
>
> Funny you should mention that. The topic of my OP to this thread has a small gauge curved barbell through each nipple. _She also has a ring in her left inner labia, but that’s for another thread._🆒
> 
> I think she looks and feels awesome in them. Since her breasts are small, and her frame athletic and almost androgyne (from the waist up), the barbells give her a vaguely “S&M shop” look. It’s an entirely different vibe than a pair of huge melons would have with the same piercings.
> 
> Is it clear yet from this thread that I am physically smitten with this girl? :D:D:D

Does she cook and clean too?.. 😉 (just kidding ladies…)

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**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/32 "2006-07-27T22:17:28Z")

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> [@934spe](#):
>
> Does she cook and clean too?.. 😉 (just kidding ladies…)

Hell, I know you’re kidding even without the disclaimer.

No WAY would you want a woman like that clothed and standing long enough to bake a pie;)

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**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/33 "2006-07-27T22:23:47Z")

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> [@iampunha](#):
>
> Hell, I know you’re kidding even without the disclaimer.
> 
> No WAY would you want a woman like that clothed and standing long enough to bake a pie;)

It’s no coincidence that, so far in our relationship, I haven’t asked her to “prepare” me anything more elaborate than a bottle of water. And that’s always…afterwards, anyway. 🆒

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**Author:** ![934spe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/90db22/32.png) [@934spe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/934spe)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/34 "2006-07-27T22:26:06Z")

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In all honesty, can she hold a good conversation too?.. I mean, you can’t screw ALL the time… (you can try, but that work and bills thing gets in the way…)

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**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/35 "2006-07-27T22:29:11Z")

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> [@934spe](#):
>
> In all honesty, can she hold a good conversation too?.. I mean, you can’t screw ALL the time… (you can try, but that work and bills thing gets in the way…)

We started out as online buddies, so I found her intellectually engaging long before we started…well, before we started. In fact, I found myself surprised at how attracted I was to her physically once I met her in person. Originally, I just started chatting with her because she listed _Clash of the Titans_ and _Labyrinth_ among her top movies. You got your geeks, and you got your freaks, and, if you’re lucky, you get a chick who’s both. 🆒

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**Author:** ![Khangol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecae2f/32.png) [@Khangol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khangol)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/36 "2006-07-27T23:04:49Z")

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> [@OneCentStamp](#):
>
> But, as I gazed upon her prone post-coital form the other evening, I realized that breasts are like mountains.

If she was prone, how could you see her breasts? Perhaps you meant “supine”. 😉

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**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/37 "2006-07-27T23:14:05Z")

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> [@Khangol](#):
>
> If she was prone, how could you see her breasts? Perhaps you meant “supine”. 😉

OK, that’s the second fucking **nitjack** \* of my thread today! First Mt. Fuji, now prone vs. supine. Damn you all. :mad: :mad:

- I just made that term up. Like it?

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**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\
**Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/38 "2006-07-27T23:59:53Z")

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Agreed **OCS**. Someone get **Czarcasm** and **Frank** in here to start wielding the ban stick.

I’d do it myself, but I think they’re blocking my email. Guys, it’s not my fault, my broker said that it _couldn’t_ fail.

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**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/39 "2006-07-28T01:21:12Z")

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The idealized female form, to me, has itty-bitty-titties and an ample bottom.

By some happy coincidence, the woman I’m currently following around like a puppy has itty-bitty-titties and an ample bottom.

Unfortunately, her perfect little boobs are something she’s unhappy about, and she’s been talking about ambitions to have them “enhanced.”

“You would like me bigger?”

What do you say? “You’re impossibly beautiful the way you are” is already getting a bit threadbare. I have no rebuttal for her argument that bigger boobs would make clothes-shopping easier; I know a thing or two about shops that are stocked entirely with clothes that are designed for more physically substantial creatures.

I know that the right answer is “Whatever makes you happy,” but there’s still that little part of me that wants to scream, _ **"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NOOOOOOO!"** _

I love her little boobies.

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**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\
**Post date:** [July 28, 2006, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-small-boobs/366272/40 "2006-07-28T01:37:13Z")

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\<Weird Science\>  
Anything bigger than a handful, you’re risking a sprained tongue.  
\</Weird Science\>

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