# In praise of Spanx **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362 "2006-08-19T18:46:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/1 "2006-08-19T18:46:08Z")
No, clueless male types, this has nothing to do with bondage or S&M. It’s about foundation garments, and not the hot sexy ones, either. I’m talking about what used to be called “girdles” and is now called “shapewear”. Fat roll wranglers. I’ve been told by many people that the best in the herd, the most efficient smoother of unfortunate bulges, is Spanx. So, unfortunately, I weigh a little more than I used to. Not much, but I’m small of frame and genetically programmed to put on weight between my waist and mid-thigh, so it’s, you know, noticeable. If my name were June, I’d be busting out all over. I’ve gone up two pant sizes. Meanwhile, I’m also giving in to professional old-ladyhood at the ripe old age of 26, so I’ve also started shopping at Chico’s. (It’s really embarassing.) Yeah, okay, they have a lot of jackets that look like Grandma’s decoupage box exploded, but their basics are nice, machine washable, and unwrinkleable. The ones I tried on also showed every single one of those unfortunate bulges, however, while simultaneously hiding the fact that I still do possess a waist. I found a nice skirt that looked good on me, however, and I noticed, hey, they sell those Spanx things here! So I got a, I think, “Power Panty”, to do something about that roll problem. It comes basically from my waist to mid-thigh, although it ends up at my waist instead of a few inches higher because, like I said, no fat on me above the waist. (Okay, so the reason I bought them is that last week at work somebody thought I was pregnant. I am most certainly not pregnant.) I gotta say, I thought it was going to be a _lot_ worse. The effect is really great - no lines, no baby bump, no jiggle. It’s not as hideously uncomfortable as I expected - quite comfy up until the belly part, which does feel constantly constricted. The waist is better than, say, pantyhose, but it’s still pretty tight. The weird part is, okay, so the website suggests you don’t wear underwear with them. Which gives it by far a better look. But it feels _really freaking creepy_. Doesn’t move around or anything, stays right where I put it, just creepy. And also, there’s a _hole in the crotch_. I mean, an on purpose one. Like what great-grandma used to have in her bloomers, except I think this one is for comfort in movement instead of to pee through. Who am I to say, though - I’m now taking three times as long in the bathroom _wrangling my girdle_. My grandmother even finally gave her girdle up, at 91, and here I am putting one on! But on the whole, I’m very impressed. It’s not too uncomfortable and it definately fixes the problem. Also seems very well-made. I’d just like to hear what everybody else thinks about their own girdles, and praise the one I got, which from what I can tell really does seem to be the cream of the crop. PS - do not lay a wicked fart in extremely constraining undergarments. It hangs around. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/2 "2006-08-19T18:47:14Z")
PS - don’t ever put something like this on in front of your boyfriend. He’ll think it’s absolutely hilarious. You won’t. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/3 "2006-08-19T18:56:18Z")
Target sells a slightly downmarket version called Assets. They are made by the same company. I think that Assets aren’t quite as tight as Spanx… and they tend to shed threads. Still, they made it possible for me to wear skirts in hot weather–otherwise the thigh chafing was unbearable. I do, actually, wish they had a hole in them, for ventilation. It gets kind of humid in there. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/4 "2006-08-19T19:11:13Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia] PS - do not lay a wicked fart in extremely constraining undergarments. It hangs around. [/QUOTE] Women don’t fart. Only skeevy stoners fart. _chirp_ In the future, we won’t spank the monkey, the monkey spanx us. _ba dum chi_ clueless male type slinks outs ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/5 "2006-08-19T20:12:17Z")
[QUOTE=Sattua] Target sells a slightly downmarket version called Assets. They are made by the same company. I think that Assets aren’t quite as tight as Spanx… and they tend to shed threads. Still, they made it possible for me to wear skirts in hot weather–otherwise the thigh chafing was unbearable. I do, actually, wish they had a hole in them, for ventilation. It gets kind of humid in there. [/QUOTE] Well, the hole doesn’t really ventilate when you’re sitting around at your office job which is the reason you need the thing in the first place because you’re at a desk all day. There’s definately some movement down there when you walk, though. I won’t speculate how much air exchange might be allowed by the design of the hole - actually it’s overlapping panels. ---
**Author:** ![cerberus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cerberus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cerberus)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/6 "2006-08-19T20:17:51Z")
If I remember my female friends’ chatter about Spanx in the first place, it was about the “toe-less” and “foot-less” tights. The Spanx story is notable because of its founder, a young woman who got fed up and designed her own tights. She was briefly on Richard Branson’s short-lived “reality” show. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/7 "2006-08-19T20:23:49Z")
[QUOTE=Sattua] I do, actually, wish they had a hole in them, for ventilation. It gets kind of humid in there. [/QUOTE] Heh. All the adds at the bottom of the page were for growing mushrooms and other fungus. First, centipedes, now fungus. Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/8 "2006-08-19T20:34:55Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia] No, clueless male types, this has nothing to do with bondage or S&M. It’s about foundation garments, and not the hot sexy ones, either. I’m talking about what used to be called “girdles” and is now called “shapewear”. Fat roll wranglers. I’ve been told by many people that the best in the herd, the most efficient smoother of unfortunate bulges, is Spanx. So, unfortunately, I weigh a little more than I used to. Not much, but I’m small of frame and genetically programmed to put on weight between my waist and mid-thigh, so it’s, you know, noticeable. If my name were June, I’d be busting out all over. I’ve gone up two pant sizes. Meanwhile, I’m also giving in to professional old-ladyhood at the ripe old age of 26, so I’ve also started shopping at Chico’s. (It’s really embarassing.) Yeah, okay, they have a lot of jackets that look like Grandma’s decoupage box exploded, but their basics are nice, machine washable, and unwrinkleable. The ones I tried on also showed every single one of those unfortunate bulges, however, while simultaneously hiding the fact that I still do possess a waist. I found a nice skirt that looked good on me, however, and I noticed, hey, they sell those Spanx things here! So I got a, I think, “Power Panty”, to do something about that roll problem. It comes basically from my waist to mid-thigh, although it ends up at my waist instead of a few inches higher because, like I said, no fat on me above the waist. (Okay, so the reason I bought them is that last week at work somebody thought I was pregnant. I am most certainly not pregnant.) I gotta say, I thought it was going to be a _lot_ worse. The effect is really great - no lines, no baby bump, no jiggle. It’s not as hideously uncomfortable as I expected - quite comfy up until the belly part, which does feel constantly constricted. The waist is better than, say, pantyhose, but it’s still pretty tight. The weird part is, okay, so the website suggests you don’t wear underwear with them. Which gives it by far a better look. But it feels _really freaking creepy_. Doesn’t move around or anything, stays right where I put it, just creepy. And also, there’s a _hole in the crotch_. I mean, an on purpose one. Like what great-grandma used to have in her bloomers, except I think this one is for comfort in movement instead of to pee through. Who am I to say, though - I’m now taking three times as long in the bathroom _wrangling my girdle_. My grandmother even finally gave her girdle up, at 91, and here I am putting one on! But on the whole, I’m very impressed. It’s not too uncomfortable and it definately fixes the problem. Also seems very well-made. I’d just like to hear what everybody else thinks about their own girdles, and praise the one I got, which from what I can tell really does seem to be the cream of the crop. PS - do not lay a wicked fart in extremely constraining undergarments. It hangs around. [/QUOTE] I have a lot of excess skin after gastric bypass surgery. I’m not planning reconstructive surgery till next year. Spanx has been a _godsend_. I wear the “Higher Power” panty, which comes down to about mid-thigh & up under the boobs. It is freaking AMAZING. The woman who created this deserves a Pulitzer or a Nobel. It takes me down at least a pants size & makes everything else just fit & hang better. They aren’t hot at all in the summer and are comfortable in the winter. Added bonus - if you put them on while you’re damp from the shower, the shee exhaustive physical workout it takes will excuse you from going to the gym that day 😃 VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/9 "2006-08-19T22:05:29Z")
Ah, yes. I rediscovered the glory that is a support undergarment after the birth of my first child. A bit of pulling and tugging, and- HOLY SHIT! I AM IN MY JEANS!!! 😃 I love my girdle panties! I am not even overweight (111 this morning, and I’m almost 5’2") but some outfits require a strong undergarment. I have that “pooch” in the front that smooths out nicely with spandex! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/10 "2006-08-20T19:26:30Z")
[QUOTE=EJsGirl] Ah, yes. I rediscovered the glory that is a support undergarment after the birth of my first child. A bit of pulling and tugging, and- HOLY SHIT! I AM IN MY JEANS!!! 😃 I love my girdle panties! I am not even overweight (111 this morning, and I’m almost 5’2") but some outfits require a strong undergarment. I have that “pooch” in the front that smooths out nicely with spandex! [/QUOTE] Precisely. It’s just a little… compression and smoothing. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/11 "2006-08-20T19:46:06Z")
I didn’t know Spanx made girdles. The only ones I remember are when I was dancing and teaching dance a lot, they were to be worn under your skirt (which would swing up and show everything) to keep things “under wraps”. Also, cheerleaders wear them to make sure things don’t show or jiggle. And they are just like panties, they didn’t go down to your thighs, only very solid and thick so that nothing shows through, unlike panties. Am I thinking of the same sort of undergarment? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/12 "2006-08-20T20:49:54Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] I didn’t know Spanx made girdles. The only ones I remember are when I was dancing and teaching dance a lot, they were to be worn under your skirt (which would swing up and show everything) to keep things “under wraps”. Also, cheerleaders wear them to make sure things don’t show or jiggle. And they are just like panties, they didn’t go down to your thighs, only very solid and thick so that nothing shows through, unlike panties. Am I thinking of the same sort of undergarment? [/QUOTE] No, different idea. A girdle, shapewear thing, or control garment is to wrestle your fat rolls into submission. I’m not sure what those shorts the cheerleaders wear are called, but that’s totally different. ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2006, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/13 "2006-08-21T00:53:39Z")
Why I, a heterosexual male, know this is beyond me: Spanx are, as stated many times over in the thread, [support undergarments](http://www.spanx.com/pls/enetrixp/!stmenu_template.main). **CanvasShoes** , the underwear worn by cheerleaders and swing dancers are [spankies](http://www.celticmerchant.com/dance-trunks.html), or heavyweight dance/cheerleading trunks. ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2006, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/14 "2006-08-21T01:57:06Z")
Loves me my Spanx. I am in a Sweet Adelines chorus, which besides the streetwalker makeup :dubious: requires me to wear an “all-in-one” for performances. Most of these include a bra which never fits, and resemble torture devices more than anything else. I have a Slim Cognito Mid-Thigh Bodysuit from Spanx, and I am the envy of the chorus. Love it. It does everything it’s supposed to, and it’s comfortable. After falling in love with the Slim Cognito, I purchased a half slip, which I also adore beyond reason. My next purchase is either a Hide and Sleek cami, or one of the Bod a Bing shirts. Someone mentioned chafing solved by Spanx. Another wonderful solution to chafing is Bodyglide, which is used by marathon runners. No stain, no smell, no chafing. Best thing since sliced bread and gift bags. And Spanx, of course. I agree that the Spanx inventor is highly to be praised. I do so by continuing to send her my money. I would NEVER pay so much for any other undergarment. Or outer garment, for the most part. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2006, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-praise-of-spanx/369362/15 "2006-08-21T03:34:04Z")
I’m seriously considering the pants they sell with built-in Spanx liner. Anybody have them?