# In Soviet Russia, Star's Trek You! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 6, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005 "2005-04-06T05:55:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![NoCoolUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5fc32e/32.png) [@NoCoolUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoCoolUserName)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/21 "2005-04-07T03:20:49Z")
In Russian (I’ve been told) the phrase “black hole” is a gross obscenity that means exactly what you think it does. But, since it describes the physical reality so exactly, they use it anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/22 "2005-04-07T03:29:04Z")
> [@Lightnin'](#): > > Probably nothing that had anything to do with black holes. > > Just a guess. Leave Uhura out of this! ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/23 "2005-04-07T06:05:50Z")
> [@](#): > > When I was living in Moscow last year, I loved to watch reruns of a late-1960s Russian science-fiction TV show called “Kosmicheskaya Militsiya.” The title translates as either Space Police or Cosmic Militia, though the show is usually called **“Cosmos Patrol”** in English. You could say that “Cosmos Patrol” is a lot like “Star Trek,” but it would be more accurate to call it a bare-faced Commie rip-off. (bolding mine) You know the funny thing is that here in Quebec, the French title for Star Trek TOS is _Patrouille du Cosmos_. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/24 "2005-04-07T12:28:21Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Was there ever any real SF on Soviet TV? Or post-Soviet Russian TV? **Tsar Trek** ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/25 "2005-04-07T12:46:38Z")
And here I was almost hoping that someone actually made epsisodes of \*\*IKV BortaS \*\*. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/26 "2005-04-07T14:02:49Z")
BTW, what’s the origin of this “In Soviet Russia, [noun] [verb] you!” catchphrase-formula? Some old Yakov Smirnoff gag? ---
**Author:** ![Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Cornelius\_Tuggerson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cornelius_Tuggerson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/27 "2005-04-07T17:33:48Z")
> [@NoCoolUserName](#): > > In Russian (I’ve been told) the phrase “black hole” is a gross obscenity that means exactly what you think it does. Not really. Black hole in Russian means the same it means in English. I think the way the rumor you are referring to got started was – a Russian physics professor was righting a paper on the things and thought that calling them black holes was vulgar (him being a smart out-of-this-world type of a guy) so in the paper he referred to them as “black openings” instead, which caused everyone much amusement and created the in-joke of black hole meaning something more then a mysterious celestial body. It may be an urban legend however, I haven’t seen a cite for the story anywhere on the web. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/28 "2005-04-07T18:29:26Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > BTW, what’s the origin of this “In Soviet Russia, [noun] [verb] you!” catchphrase-formula? Some old Yakov Smirnoff gag? Gag, nothing. That was pretty much his entire routine. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/29 "2005-04-07T18:45:37Z")
Smirnoff’s \*entire \* routine: “America is totally different from Soviet Russia. In America, you can always find party. In Russia, Party always finds _you_!” He’s still packing 'em in down in Branson. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/30 "2005-04-07T22:53:13Z")
This part intrigued me… > [@](#): > > I hadn’t a clue about this one—until I learned this fun fact: the Red Army used to award medals for bravery to tanks and airplanes. :dubious: Now _that_ part’s a joke too, right? Or did the author throw in a genuine bit of weird Red Army trivia? (I’d guess “joke,” but with Soviet stuff, I can never be completely sure…) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/31 "2005-04-07T23:23:32Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > This part intrigued me… > > :dubious: > > Now _that_ part’s a joke too, right? Or did the author throw in a genuine bit of weird Red Army trivia? (I’d guess “joke,” but with Soviet stuff, I can never be completely sure…) Actually, I think that it is true. ISTR that a certain model tank got the medal. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/32 "2005-04-08T03:39:11Z")
What’s with the apostrophe in _Star’s_? ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/33 "2005-04-08T03:40:10Z")
In Russia, apostrophe withs YOU! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/34 "2005-04-12T08:58:15Z")
Apparently, though, [there’s commie-pinkos](http://www.stardestroyer.net/Empire/Essays/Trek-Marxism.html) running the UFP. > [@](#): > > No wealth: Counsellor Troi and Captain Picard have both boasted about how the accumulation of wealth is no longer an incentive. What they don’t explain is why. Humans have always been territorial (and so have our evolutionary ancestors), so our desire to accumulate more assets seems more like a basic facet of human nature than a temporary cultural phenomenon. It can be suppressed or modified through education and social conditioning, but such methods are hardly 100% effective. Some greedy people should remain, but not in Star Trek. So if humans in the future no longer desire wealth, then why not? Do they use extremely advanced brainwashing techniques, so sophisticated that no one can resist them? Or have they made the accumulation of wealth illegal, as Marx advocated? The latter seems more plausible. There’s more. _A lot_ more. Somebody has too much time on their hands. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/35 "2005-04-12T13:11:24Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Apparently, though, [there’s commie-pinkos](http://www.stardestroyer.net/Empire/Essays/Trek-Marxism.html) running the UFP.There’s more. _A lot_ more. Somebody has too much time on their hands. Food & matter replicator tech would seem to reduce/eliminate the problem of poverty from the bottom up. Unlimited #s of habitable/terraformable planets solve the living space problems. Fusion & antimatter for energy. By Kirk’s first tour on Enterprise, gemstones were considered worthless. (Remember the “Halloween” episode?) Sheer technological muscle would make wealth & poverty alike largely obsolete. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/36 "2005-04-12T13:17:35Z")
In SDMB, “Tsar Trek” joke beat YOU! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005/37 "2005-04-12T14:52:16Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Food & matter replicator tech would seem to reduce/eliminate the problem of poverty from the bottom up. > > Fusion & antimatter for energy. > . Exactly. If you have a magic black box(replicators, warp engines, transporters), there’s no limit to the things you can do. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-soviet-russia-stars-trek-you/298005.md?page=1)