# "In the land of Mars, where the ladies smoke cigars..". **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 5, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700 "2010-09-05T17:35:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/1 "2010-09-05T17:35:28Z")
What’s the origin of this playground rhyme / song? It’s set to the archetypal “snake charmer” music, the words I remember were: In the land of Mars, Where the ladies smoke cigars, Every puff they take Is enough to kill a snake. When the snakes are dead, They put diamonds in their heads. When the diamonds break, It is 1968." But I know there must be at least a dozen variations on the lyrics. We used to sing / “chant” this during my Kindergarten years, I know that my older siblings did too. But where did it come from? When did it originate? And do adolescent kids still “sing” it? Just wondering. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/2 "2010-09-05T17:47:31Z")
I have never heard that, or even heard _of_ that. Are you sure it isn’t just something a sibling made up? ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/3 "2010-09-05T18:20:46Z")
never heard of it ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/4 "2010-09-05T18:23:30Z")
I’ve never heard those words, just “There’s a place in France where the women wear no pants”. ---
**Author:** ![TheChileanBlob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thechileanblob/32/435_2.png) [@TheChileanBlob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheChileanBlob)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/5 "2010-09-05T18:27:30Z")
I’ve heard it! Although it’s "On the _planet_ Mars. Also, when the diamonds _crack_, they put mustard on his back. When the mustard sticks, it’s 1966. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/6 "2010-09-05T18:43:28Z")
I’ve heard: In the land of Oz where the ladies wear no bras And the boys don’t care, they pull down their underwear ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/7 "2010-09-05T18:44:50Z")
It rings some faint bells, from my grade school days. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/8 "2010-09-05T18:48:10Z")
They’re hermetic secrets in the oral tradition, and when recited under the proper circumstances (generally involving pulverized seeds bearing lysergic acid amide) they amount to a form of Time Travel for Pedestrians. A cryptic exposition on this method was published under a weak pseudonym (as a logical derivation from semi-secret radiant field theory) by Michael Faraday, in 1972. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/9 "2010-09-05T18:54:20Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I’ve never heard those words, just “There’s a place in France where the women wear no pants”. I heard it as: There’s a place in France where the naked ladies dance, with their long blonde hair and their boobs in the air. There’s a hole in the wall where the men can see it all, and they all play drums on the naked ladies’ bums. Never heard anything like the version in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/10 "2010-09-05T18:55:43Z")
The version I heard: “In the land of **Oz** , Where the ladies smoke cigars, Every puff they take Is enough to kill a snake. When the snakes are dead, They put roses in their heads. When the roses die, They put diamonds in their eyes. When the diamonds break, It is 1978.” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/11 "2010-09-05T19:12:45Z")
I’ve often wondered, in general, who the original authors were of all those bawdy song parodies that get handed down to one generation of kids to another. I can remember a number of them from my childhood (about 3rd through 5th grade were sort of the prime years I remember for downloading and passing on these dimly understood dirty songs). They all had to have had original authors somewhere, but who were these unheralded kid geniuses? They’ve achieved a strange sort of immortality. They deserve some kind of recognition. I wonder if any of them saw their compositions achieve success and longevity and then tried to claim credit. "I was the one who wrote the “Ta ra ra boom dee ay, I met a girl today’ song” “Yeah, right.” “Seriously, I did. I was like eleven. Buena Vista Elementary School in Alamagordo, New Mexico, 1959.” “Uh huh.” ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/12 "2010-09-05T20:32:03Z")
This thread was started in response to a zombie which was revived by a newbie today a bit after noon EDT. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12879968#post12879968](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12879968#post12879968)]All the Girls in France Do the Hoochie-Coochie Dance. It actually had some good info in it, especially about the older versions. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/13 "2010-09-05T20:51:07Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’ve often wondered, in general, who the original authors were of all those bawdy song parodies that get handed down to one generation of kids to another. I can remember a number of them from my childhood (about 3rd through 5th grade were sort of the prime years I remember for downloading and passing on these dimly understood dirty songs). They all had to have had original authors somewhere, but who were these unheralded kid geniuses? They’ve achieved a strange sort of immortality. They deserve some kind of recognition. I wonder if any of them saw their compositions achieve success and longevity and then tried to claim credit. > > "I was the one who wrote the “Ta ra ra boom dee ay, I met a girl today’ song” > “Yeah, right.” > “Seriously, I did. I was like eleven. Buena Vista Elementary School in Alamagordo, New Mexico, 1959.” > “Uh huh.” Yeah. A classmate and I invented “Randolph the Bowlegged Cowboy” in 1954. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2677389&postcount=1](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=2677389&postcount=1) ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/14 "2010-09-05T23:51:50Z")
They sang it at camp. I don’t remember all the words. “In the land of Mars where babies smoke cigars and boys wear bikinis and the girls something something something about dead snakes and glass…” ---
**Author:** ![meenie7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@meenie7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meenie7)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/15 "2010-09-06T00:00:08Z")
When I was in school, the words I learned were: There’s a place in France when the naked ladies dance and a hole in the wall where the boys can see it all and the guards don’t care – they just chew their underwear and the king and queen have a rubber ding-a-ling This was in elementary school, so it was the mid-to-late 1980s. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/16 "2010-09-06T03:20:51Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’ve often wondered, in general, who the original authors were of all those bawdy song parodies that get handed down to one generation of kids to another. Something that I consider odd in retrospect is that when I was a child in the early '60s we were still singing songs that were obviously current twenty years earlier, all about Hitler and Germans. We had the familiar parody of “Whistle While You Work,” of course, as well as stuff like: (to the tune of “Assembly”) _There’s a German in the grass With a bullet in his ass Pull it out, pull it out Like a good girl scout!_ and _Tramp, tramp, tramp the boys are marching! Here comes Hitler at the door! If I only had the chance I would kick him in the pants Then there wouldn’t be a Hitler anymore!_ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/17 "2010-09-06T06:40:54Z")
All I remember is: Oh they don’t wear pants On the sunny side of France. ---
**Author:** ![Baboonanza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f475e1/32.png) [@Baboonanza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baboonanza)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/18 "2010-09-06T13:23:10Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > Something that I consider odd in retrospect is that when I was a child in the early '60s we were still singing songs that were obviously current twenty years earlier, all about Hitler and Germans. We had the familiar parody of “Whistle While You Work,” of course, as well as stuff like: _Hilter, has only got one ball The other, is in the Albert Hall His mother, the dirty fucker Cut it off when he was small!_ A classic 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/19 "2010-09-06T13:49:09Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > What’s the origin of this playground rhyme / song? Lookee! [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Streets_of_Cairo,_or_the_Poor_Little_Country_Maid) did all the work for you! ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700/20 "2010-09-06T14:01:44Z")
> [@Baboonanza](#): > > > [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > > > Something that I consider odd in retrospect is that when I was a child in the early '60s we were still singing songs that were obviously current twenty years earlier, all about Hitler and Germans. We had the familiar parody of “Whistle While You Work,” of course, as well as stuff like: > > _Hilter, has only got one ball > The other, is in the Albert Hall > His mother, the dirty fucker > Cut it off when he was small!_ > A classic 🙂 Huh. Even as a kid in the mid-70s there were still a few WW2 vintage ditties like this floating around my neighborhood in Queens (NYC), including: _Whistle while you work, Hitler is a jerk Mussolini bit his weenie Now it doesn’t work._ I wonder why so much staying power? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-land-of-mars-where-the-ladies-smoke-cigars/552700.md?page=2)