# In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 2, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016 "2008-01-02T19:03:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/21 "2008-01-03T06:47:29Z")
Looks like Boll’s trimmed down his initially-envisioned running time of three hours to a mere 2-1/2 hours of suck. The latest trailer is hilariously bad. A “normal guy” is out there kung-fu sword-fighting armies and wizards in slow motion, without even a shred of armor. Meanwhile, Boll is trying so hard to capture the epic scale of Lord of the Rings, and is bound to fail miserably. While I agree that this movie could be genuinely hilarious if seen with friends on cable, it can only be sheer, embarassing agony if you actually fork over money for it. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/22 "2008-01-03T08:01:02Z")
Just wait 'til **Postal** shows up. Really. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/23 "2008-01-03T09:52:28Z")
[QUOTE=Darth Nader] Just wait 'til **Postal** shows up. Really. [/QUOTE] Actually, that’ll probably be the first Boll movie I’ll skip. Mocking a bad comedy is never that amusing; the very definition of a bad comedy is that it isn’t funny. I have no desire to watch a bunch of poorly executed over-the-top slapstick and horrifically delivered one-liners. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/24 "2008-01-03T11:47:17Z")
[QUOTE=Roland Orzabal] ETA: If you ever REALLY want to have some fun, rent a Boll flick – any of them, really, but Alone In The Dark is especially good – and listen to the director’s commentary. Boll’s failed attempts at a defense of his film, combined with his Arnoldesque accent and broken English, are every bit as enjoyable as the movie itself. [/QUOTE] Ooooh! I didn’t know Boll actually did commentary on the DVD. Now I have to get it. And for my recommendation Alone in the Dark is one of the schlockiest films I’ve ever seen (this is coming from someone who has seen all of the episodes of MST3k). It’s a must watch for anyone who is curious about how terrible film making can get. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/25 "2008-01-03T18:58:35Z")
[QUOTE=Just Some Guy] And for my recommendation Alone in the Dark is one of the schlockiest films I’ve ever seen (this is coming from someone who has seen all of the episodes of MST3k). It’s a must watch for anyone who is curious about how terrible film making can get. [/QUOTE] [You must read this](http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/behind-scenes-uwe.php). ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/26 "2008-01-14T13:39:00Z")
[QUOTE=Sierra Indigo] I love Jason Statham. I love Uwe Boll. I think I’ll be there with bells on, and I’ll get the DVD. I agree with \*\*Roland \*\* - this will be so far beyond awful that we’ll come full circle to awesome again. Just you wait and see. [/QUOTE] Two questions: 1. Have you seen the movie (came out last Friday); 2. What in the _world_ do you love about Uwe Boll? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/27 "2008-01-14T13:44:27Z")
The best part about a new Uwe Boll movie is reading the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/28 "2008-01-14T13:56:58Z")
I said I was going to see it, but I didn’t. Man, it didn’t even break into the top 10! And there are some bad movies in the current top 10! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/29 "2008-01-14T14:07:06Z")
Does Ewe Boll translate from some Eastern European language into “Ed Wood”? ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/30 "2008-01-14T14:20:02Z")
[QUOTE=Mr. Miskatonic] Does Ewe Boll translate from some Eastern European language into “Ed Wood”? [/QUOTE] Nah. You could really tell that Ed Wood loved movies and loved making them. Also, ineptly as it was executed “Glen or Glenda?” was immensely personal and risky, something you can’t say about anything Boll’s done. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/31 "2008-01-14T14:39:50Z")
Didn’t see this, and I have no intention of pissing away my money on this, but I like my local paper’s capsule review. It said something along the lines of: > [@](#): > > Uwe Boll adapts yet another video game to the big screen. Enough said. Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, and Burt Reynolds pick up acting paychecks. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/32 "2008-01-14T15:09:46Z")
[QUOTE=Snickers] Maybe his agent has naked pictures of him or something. [/QUOTE] _picks up notepad_ Who’s his agent, now? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/33 "2008-01-14T19:11:05Z")
OK, OK, I went to see it over the weekend. [Here is my report](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=451442). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/34 "2008-01-14T19:18:07Z")
I don’t disagree that his films are bad, but he’s managed to get darn near every one into a theatre instead of straight to video, which is where most crap goes- how does that happen? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2008, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016/35 "2008-01-14T22:31:19Z")
[QUOTE=Menocchio] Nah. You could really tell that Ed Wood loved movies and loved making them. Also, ineptly as it was executed “Glen or Glenda?” was immensely personal and risky, something you can’t say about anything Boll’s done. [/QUOTE] Yeah, Uwe Boll is more of a modern Coleman Francis. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-name-of-the-king-a-dungeon-siege-tale/432016.md?page=1)