# In the Story of My Life, I Will be Played By... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 17, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067 "2002-04-17T03:11:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dabrota](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@dabrota](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dabrota)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/1 "2002-04-17T03:11:18Z")
Ok, this is my first attempt at starting my own thread, so I hope this pans out… Ok, lets think about this. A few days ago, I was asked what celebrity did I think most looked like/embodied the sort of essence that was me. And I thought…hm. What a question. The perhaps sadder resulting answer was all that I could come up with was Rowan Atkinson, of Mr. Bean fame. I’m a girl. And I thought about it…if you had to cast yourself and the major players in your life for a movie, who would you cast? Myself - as yet uncasted, sadly. My witty, every poignant roommate would be played by the ineffable Janeane Garofalo. My father - often a loveable, opinionated, insufferable curmugeon, would be played by the late Carroll O’Connor. My mother - definitely Debbie Reynolds - read: mother hell-bent on destroying her daughter’s life…but that’s another movie altogether. How about you? Who would be cast as the players in your life? Actors/famous people living or dead? ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/2 "2002-04-17T03:16:24Z")
My joke answer to this is always a 1997-era Jonathan Lipnicki. Unfortunately, I don’t have a serious answer to this. There’s no one that looks quite as ugly as myself in modern pop culture. Colin ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Kahuna_Burger)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/3 "2002-04-17T03:30:47Z")
Me-Edward Norton–I actually do kind of look like him in terms of my profile. Plus I liked Fight Club. Mom-Dixie Carter with shorter hair and no Southern accent would be pretty accurate Dad-Tough, but I’d go with Tony Danza. He’s the boss, but he never boxed to the best of my knowledge. Sisters-I don’t plan on having them in the movie about my life, it’s s’posed to be positive. My barber, Ray-OK, not the biggest part of my life, but he looks EXACTLY like Anthony Edwards of ER fame. Then there are all my friends and stuff, none of whom really look like anyone. Oh, and my last love interest was such an exotic beauty that no Hollywood hack could capture her essence (just in case she’s reading this and wants to take me back). ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/4 "2002-04-17T08:07:41Z")
Danny DeVito. ---
**Author:** ![dabrota](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@dabrota](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dabrota)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/5 "2002-04-17T09:19:40Z")
oops. Forgot about boyfriend… He says the guy who mosts captures him is Dave Foley. But when he asked me who most ‘looked’ like him - I said william H. Macy. I think I’d rather make out with Dave Foley though. In an ideal world. ---
**Author:** ![kuroashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9a140/32.png) [@kuroashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kuroashi)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/6 "2002-04-17T09:44:08Z")
I am portraying MYSELF in my life story, but nobody is bothering to film it. Oh well, having fun. Just wish I could get paid. I’d say Val Kilmer but he’s been a bit snooty in his recent roles and that might detract from the flick. And he’s not quite tall enough. We’ll give him some boots and it’ll work. The heroin - Takashima Reiko. I don’t have a link right now for those of you who don’t know this lady, but she plays a Matriarch Yakuza in a serial (not far off the mark!) Buddies - Michael Madsen, Liv Tyler, Dennis Quaid, Jonathan Frakes, Anthony Edwards ex-boss: Paul Hogan or Robert DeNiro ex-girlfriend: Cher ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/7 "2002-04-17T10:20:33Z")
All the guys that can play me are too old to play me now. Who a young (27) bearded Jonathon Frakes or Jeff Goldblum. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/8 "2002-04-17T11:31:46Z")
John Cusack, I’d say. He’s a bit older than me, but I could pass for his age. He doesn’t really resemble me in terms of looks, but his role in _High Fidelity_ resembled me quite a bit. Well, I don’t own a record store. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anahita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9a28c/32.png) [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/9 "2002-04-17T12:27:52Z")
[Isabel Adjani.](http://jsmagic.net/americanadjani/) [sub]I wish. I only picked her because I think she’s beautiful and I would like to look like her, but I definately do NOT.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/10 "2002-04-17T12:52:22Z")
W.C.Fields as me. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/11 "2002-04-17T13:04:42Z")
Damnit, Coldie! I was gonna call John Cusack. I still will, though. You can have him from _High Fidelity_, I’ll take him from … um … oh, I’ve always wanted to be an assassin. Dibs on _Grosse Point Blank_. I suppose I still have time to be a hitman before the story of my life is complete. ---
**Author:** ![Cherry\_Blossom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@Cherry\_Blossom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry_Blossom)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/12 "2002-04-17T13:57:12Z")
Me- If you could cross Salma Hayek and Ashley Judd, that’s me Bing- Russell Crowe (Bing’s a total hottie!) Brothers- McCauley Culkin (early years) and Jonathan Lipnicki Mom- Gena Rowlands Stepdad- Hank Hill (I know he’s a cartoon, but an uncanny resemblance.) Dad- Cheech Marin (Note: Dad and I aren’t hispanic, but we look like the stereotypical image of what the media tends to cast of people of that origin. We’ve actually been asked where we’re “originally” from.) ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/13 "2002-04-17T14:22:10Z")
Well, I’ve been told by that I look like [Anthony Edwards](http://www.nbc.com/ER/bios/Anthony_Edwards.html), although that was before LASIK. Maybe [Billy Corgan](http://www.chartattack.com/damn/2000/04/1402.cfm) could play me if he can act. Mrs. ShibbOleth, I can’t think of any American actresses that look like her, so we might have to use the casting couch method. My daughter looks like a very young [Kristin Kreuk](http://www.thewb.com/Faces/CastBio/0,7930,75,00.html). I can’t think of anyone who looks like the Boy except for [The Boy](http://communities.msn.com/SDMB/thekids.msnw?Page=Last). He’s a ham, so he could probably play himself. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/14 "2002-04-17T14:26:51Z")
It would have to have been made about 1940. Me: Either Eve Arden or Ros Russell. If it’s a “B” film, Una Merkel. My Mom: Alice Brady or Billie Burke. My Dad: Ned Sparks. My sister: Maureen O’Sullivan. Best friend: Gene Raymond (he actually looks a LOT like him). ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/15 "2002-04-17T14:32:58Z")
Valerie Harper as Rhoda would be me. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/16 "2002-04-17T14:38:46Z")
Me: a slimmed-down Queen Latifah My sister closet to me in age: Lisa Bonet (just to piss my sister off) My mother: Phyllicia Rashad with dread locks My father: Samuel L. Jackson (he looks nothing like my dad, but it would so cool to call him Daddy!) ---
**Author:** ![dabrota](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@dabrota](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dabrota)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/17 "2002-04-17T17:21:37Z")
Cherry Blossom, if Bing if your love interest…well, I’m available for auditions, and did I mention I look like a cross between Salma Hayek and Ashely Judd? er…not really, but plastic surgery is not out of the question… mmm, russell crowe… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/18 "2002-04-17T17:50:47Z")
Honey=Teri Garr ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/19 "2002-04-17T17:55:51Z")
Me? Someone once told me Shelley Duvall. He was an ass. Talisa Soto has similar coloring but that’s about it. I don’t think I look like anyone famous. I can’t think of anyone to play a single person in my family, but my boyfriend - he gets Jason Biggs and Jason Schwartzmann a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/20 "2002-04-17T17:57:55Z")
I’m thinking Richard Karn (Al from Home Improvement) would do a fairly decent job of playing me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067.md?page=2)