# In the Story of My Life, I Will be Played By... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 17, 2002, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067 "2002-04-17T03:11:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/21 "2002-04-17T18:48:10Z")
Top Gun-era Tom Cruise, with some gray in his hair, and a few inches in height. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/22 "2002-04-17T19:11:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cherry\_Blossom\_ \* > \*\*Me- If you could cross Salma Hayek and Ashley Judd, that’s me > \*\* Send me a picture, now. 😉 Okay, me…Oliver Platt (_Flatliners, Lake Placid_, etc.) Only famous actor I know goofy-looking enough. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/23 "2002-04-17T20:17:46Z")
Me: Hélenè Cardona (with curly hair) Best friend Dawn: Holly Hunter Best friend Jeremy: Eddie Vedder Dumbass ex boyfriend: Ben Chaplin Current SO: Dave Gahan Roommates: Suzy–Aaliyah (if she hadn’t died), Emily–Soleil Moon Frye, Morgan–Scarlett Johansson. Even though other Dopers figure prominently in my life, I’ll refrain from casting them. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/24 "2002-04-18T01:22:49Z")
Curse you, **CaptMurdock** , Oliver Platt is my usual answer to this type of question. Now I have to pick Jack Black, he’s the only other actor I even vaguely resemble. But I’d prefer being portrayed by Gary Oldman. (casting based on looks): Mom - Susan Rutan Dad - Lee Majors Stepfather - Conway Twitty (I know he’s dead, but the resemblence is spooky) Sis - Neve Campbell Boss - Dennis Leary Best Friends - Caroline Rhea, Anjelica Huston, Chi McBride, Abraham Ben Rubi, Peter Riegert ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/25 "2002-04-18T01:24:35Z")
I’m a definate Jon Lovitz. ---
**Author:** ![kuroashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9a140/32.png) [@kuroashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kuroashi)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/26 "2002-04-18T06:12:19Z")
Actually, overnight it came to me suddenely. I take back Val Kilmer. If you’ve seen Marlon Brando’s OLD stuff, that’s me. But My parents were in elementary school when he still looked like I do now. Jeez, maybe that means I should watch my beer intake. ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/27 "2002-04-18T06:38:30Z")
I’ll take back W.C.Fields. I \*wish \* I was him; funny, drunk and dead, but he doesn’t look like me. No-one looks like me. My mom: Susan Sarondon [looks + attitude] My dad: Mikhail Sergeevich Gorbachev [looks + beliefs]\* without the red thingies on his head\* My brothers: Aidan Quin + William Hurt _yes, one blond, one dark- half-brothers, same mom, 3 different dads_ My favourite persons on earth: a young Bruce Willis, Parker Posey, a young Tom… what’s his name; Magnum. Sylvester and Garfield ---
**Author:** ![kuroashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9a140/32.png) [@kuroashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kuroashi)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/28 "2002-04-18T07:11:01Z")
Tom Selleck (with the moustache or without?) ---
**Author:** ![dabrota](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@dabrota](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dabrota)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/29 "2002-04-18T07:14:38Z")
My roommate suggested that I would best be portrayed by Neve Campbell, a la ‘Three to Tango.’ I think I’m flattered. Course, I haven’t seen the movie yet… I came up with Anna Chlumsky from ‘My Girl.’ Picture that kid, but about 22. Mix of psychotic, imaginative, and…boring. ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/30 "2002-04-18T08:28:43Z")
LOL, thanks **kuroashi** With- I’m afraid. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![obidiah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@obidiah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obidiah)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/31 "2002-04-18T13:11:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anahita \* > \*\*[Isabel Adjani.](http://jsmagic.net/americanadjani/) > \*\* Ahhh!! Music blaring out at 1000 dB’s!! 8:30 in the morning!! Good lord, that scared the bejezzus out of me!:eek: (of course someone turned my speakers all the way up last night…cursed office co-workers) I don’t think there are any stars who would be able to play me as I’m way outta their league what with my jet-setting lifestyle and what-not. However, if I had to choose I would say Ralph the Dog from the Muppet Show would be the best choice. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/32 "2002-04-18T13:35:58Z")
When growing up, I was tall, thin, and quiet, so I’d say Joey Ramone but that wouldn’t work. For hair and height, I’ll go with Jerry Hall as me. Best friend in school: Salma Hayek. Former husband: closest i can guess(since I dont see movies and dont know what most stars look like) is Alton Cooper(sp?) from the cooking channel. Oldest friend: the blonde from ABBA. Child? Gee, I dunno. ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/33 "2002-04-18T20:54:22Z")
To play me: Doon McKichan (_Smack the Pony, The Day Today_, or maybe more work for Rowan Atkinson (I have a variety of unintentional facial expressions that I’m told are quite amusing) or maybe Uma Thurman, but only if she put on some pounds. A friend of mine says I remind him of Joyce Grenfell. My SO: Ardal O’Hanlon (Father Dougal from _Father Ted_) resembles him in looks and demeanour. If not, I think a clean cut Bollywood hero in a blouson jacket would be excellent. My Mum: Twiggy ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/34 "2002-04-18T22:32:53Z")
Oooo I \*love \* Doon McKichan Lucky you! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/35 "2002-04-19T01:21:33Z")
I came to read this thread cause I made a bet to myself that SPOOFE had posted a John Holmes reference. I was wrong. I wasn’t gonna post but then thought otherwise. I guess I could be played by BlackJack McDowell, former Cy Young Award winning pitcher. Granted, he’s not an accomplished actor, but he has experience performing in front of crowds both on the mound at at blues clubs. I figure if someone as dumb as OJ can go on to be an actor, I assume McDowell could too. We are the same age, same build & height and we look similar. A few years back, after coming to the Yanks from Chicago, he made a major error in judgement; he threw the bird to the hometeam crowd in Yankee Stadium after they booed him for having a bad outing. Needless to say, a week later when I was at the stadium, the drunken morons in the stands started pelting me with beers, screaming “Hey Jack, go back to Chicago where you belong.” I wasn’t gonna start tossing $6 beers in retaliation. I stood up, turned around, took off my cap, pointed @ my “missing” goatee and assured them they were mistaken before flipping them one back. I don’t think I look that much like him, but alot of my moronic friends do, even when they’re sober. One went as far as to e-mail “separated at birth?” picures of [George Shultz & The Cowardly Lion, The Joker & Mary Tyler Moore and Jack McDowell & myself](http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/johnbuckwld/vwp?.dir=/Received+Mail&.src=ph&.dnm=Separated+Spy.jpg&.view=t&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/bc/johnbuckwld/lst%3f%26.dir=/Received%2bMail%26.src=ph%26.view=t). I didn’t think it was as funny as my co-workers, but I guess it coulda been worse. ---
**Author:** ![kase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a5b964/32.png) [@kase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kase)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067/36 "2002-04-19T21:54:36Z")
you’re better looking. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-story-of-my-life-i-will-be-played-by/104067.md?page=1)