# In the Valley of the Green Glass Doors **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 9, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734 "2003-06-09T22:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![RawkStah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@RawkStah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RawkStah)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/201 "2003-06-14T03:27:29Z")
No one reads Stephen King, Jack Kerouac, Michael Crichton or Douglas Adams, but everyone is a fan of Orson Scott Card. Correct? RawkStah, however, is not allowed. ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/202 "2003-06-14T03:45:22Z")
Correct **RawkSta**. Unfortunately they’ve never heard of Ender’s Game, Ender’s Shadow, Speaker for the Dead, or Xenocide. Durn shame… ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/203 "2003-06-14T03:50:58Z")
Unfortunately, there would be no GTA: Vice City. But there would be GTA III! Yay! If only I were allowed in… damn! ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/204 "2003-06-14T03:56:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MLS \* > \*\*Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice can come to the Valley. Rush Limbaugh may not. \*\* But his dittoheads gain immediate access. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/205 "2003-06-14T04:01:45Z")
Shelley is found in the Valley, but not Byron or Keats. ---
**Author:** ![Elemenopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5e925/32.png) [@Elemenopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elemenopy)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/206 "2003-06-14T04:08:26Z")
While I can’t come in, I can look and peek Perhaps I can creep in, although I won’t sneak And when the moon rises above the hidden shore I’ll snooze and I’ll sleep, with nary a snore. Morning is fleeting but noon isn’t brief I found there’s no mayor nor duke nor a chief A princess writes lawbooks assisted by the duchess And to the office they ride not one but three busses. All here like cartoons, never movies or plays And though weeks go by, forgotten are days For noone owns calendars or diaries or charts And they’re ruled by their tummies instead of their hearts. The poems are too difficult–there’s only poor rhyme and no meter I freeze in my garrett; it’s cool and sans heater Your critics can’t beat me but feel free to scoff I’m sure you’ll do better when it’s your day off In the valley, I have no talent, so I shall not tarry For that, no apologies, but I am still sorry. ---
**Author:** ![maikai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@maikai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maikai)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/207 "2003-06-14T06:27:13Z")
Don’t feel too bad **Watcher of the Skies** , I’ve subscribed to this thread for the past few days and I still have no f\*cking clue what this about either. I kind of hope you don’t figure it out though. If you do, I’ll be left alone in clueless land. I bet that it’s close to valley. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/208 "2003-06-14T15:03:28Z")
I have my passport, but can’t find the border! I cannot find the entrance, though the egress is seen by all. ---
**Author:** ![macabresoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@macabresoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/macabresoul)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/209 "2003-06-14T15:08:35Z")
we eat cheese and quesadillas, but no ones ever heard of a taco. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/210 "2003-06-14T18:12:19Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by pulehoopo \* > \*\*Don’t feel too bad **Watcher of the Skies** , I’ve subscribed to this thread for the past few days and I still have no f_cking clue what this about either. I kind of hope you don’t figure it out though. If you do, I’ll be left alone in clueless land. I bet that it’s close to valley. 😉 \*\* Oh, no, Clueless Land is IN the Valley. And so are you, pulehoopo, in case no one’s told you that, even if you don’t know why. Elemenopy: A terrific ditty for the Valley! ---
**Author:** ![Teegus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Teegus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teegus)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/211 "2003-06-14T23:18:03Z")
lets see if i’ve figured this out You can only cook over a bonfire, but there are no trees growing in the valley. Martinis are shaken not stirred The most popular entertainment is wrestling, but there are no wrestlers. hmmm… maybe I don’t understand this game. Am I allowed in? ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/212 "2003-06-14T23:24:35Z")
Not yet, **Teegus**. Looks like you may be on the mountain. In the Valley, there are trees, but you can’t use them to start a bonfire, a blaze, a pyre, or an inferno. Not even a tiny fire. Martinis are always stirred, never shaken. And nobody’s heard of wrestling or wrestlers. ---
**Author:** ![HerMajestyLorna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7cd45c/32.png) [@HerMajestyLorna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HerMajestyLorna)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/213 "2003-06-15T01:16:49Z")
Bookkeeping is the most highly-regarded profession. But there just plain aren’t any librarians. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/214 "2003-06-15T03:09:01Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by pulehoopo \* > \*\*Don’t feel too bad **Watcher of the Skies** , I’ve subscribed to this thread for the past few days and I still have no f_cking clue what this about either. I kind of hope you don’t figure it out though. If you do, I’ll be left alone in clueless land. I bet that it’s close to valley. 😉 \*\* Not _all_ alone. I’ve been following this for a few days as well and I’m still just as clueless. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/215 "2003-06-15T20:15:36Z")
Hmmm … I probably shouldn’t but here’s a blunt hint: It’s a word game. Don’t look for any meaning whatsoever, because there isn’t any. Although it is fun to try to attach meaning to the statements … ---
**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/216 "2003-06-15T21:06:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aholibah \* > \*\*Not yet, **Teegus**. Looks like you may be on the mountain. \*\* Ah, but there is no mountain in the valley. A couple of hills, but no other inclines. No slopes either, but there is skiing. Preferably cross-country skiing. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/217 "2003-06-15T23:16:30Z")
Downhill skiing, too, just no alpine. Or slalom. (Ya wanna slalom, ya gotta go over to the cities of Avalon.) ---
**Author:** ![Watcher\_of\_the\_Skies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/45deac/32.png) [@Watcher\_of\_the\_Skies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watcher_of_the_Skies)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/218 "2003-06-16T03:56:30Z")
I knew this would turn out to be a no-win situation. I already felt the complete idiot for the first four pages of this thread, and no, the hint about it being a word game didn’t help - I already knew that. I was looking for way more involved schemes. Now that I’ve got it (with the help a good hint but not the solution I must add), I feel like even more of an idiot for not seeing the pattern sooner.:smack: Just for the record, I must point out that complete idiots are not allowed into this god-forsaken valley, but goofballs are everywhere. I can’t believe the Philadelphia/Philly hint didn’t get it done! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/219 "2003-06-16T06:24:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by twickster \* > **…but no Beatles…** However, the valley is quite familiar with Lennon, McCartney, Harrison, and Starr. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2003, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/220 "2003-06-16T06:59:12Z")
I’m rather happy to be allowed into the valley, but what will I do without my hair brush, comb, or gel? Shampoo alone just won’t get the job done. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734.md?page=12)