# In the Valley of the Green Glass Doors **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 9, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734 "2003-06-09T22:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/61 "2003-06-10T15:06:24Z")
Welcome to the valley newcomers. Please feel free to pull up an ottoman or stool (we don’t have chairs) and help yourself to some beer, coffee or darjeeling (thanks for that one **Calladair** ) ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/62 "2003-06-10T15:24:31Z")
Thanks, **Meros** , but if it’s all the same I’ll take a latte. ---
**Author:** ![Mystery\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Mystery\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mystery_Dog)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/63 "2003-06-10T15:38:29Z")
Mmmm, beer. I suppose I’ll have a Guinness, since there’s no Yuengling or Sam Adams available. And I’ll just have a demitasse, since I can’t get a pint. (I could get a gallon, but that might be a bit much.) ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/64 "2003-06-10T15:40:27Z")
Of course, there’s also no Coke or Pepsi, but there is Dr. Pepper. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/65 "2003-06-10T15:44:18Z")
Or how about a nice Hawaiian Punch? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Einmon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Einmon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Einmon)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/66 "2003-06-10T16:01:08Z")
I’ll go out on a limb and order a Gin’n Tonic. If that’s not available, I’ll just order a Manhattan. I like my drinks to be bittersweet as is customary in the valley. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/67 "2003-06-10T16:05:33Z")
I was thinking it might be time for a cookout (although not a picnic). I hear they love to grill in the valley. But they do it without hamburgers or hotdogs or kielbasa. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Lightning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@White\_Lightning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Lightning)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/68 "2003-06-10T16:16:47Z")
So what _do_ they grill? I like to cook. I hope cooking is allowed in the valley because I wouldn’t want to eat my beef raw. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/69 "2003-06-10T16:29:53Z")
Ok, I thought I got it, but I guess not … hmmm … ---
**Author:** ![nahtanoj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@nahtanoj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nahtanoj)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/70 "2003-06-10T16:40:42Z")
Finally got it. I’m not allowed in but I hear that: There are no lawns, but there is grass. You can see trees, but no forests. Nahtanoj ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/71 "2003-06-10T16:43:12Z")
In the valley they grill beef patties, but not chicken breasts or pork chops. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/72 "2003-06-10T16:47:13Z")
I hear that the valley also has hills and gullies, but no mountains or ravines. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/73 "2003-06-10T16:47:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > \*\*I like to cook. I hope cooking is allowed in the valley because I wouldn’t want to eat my beef raw. \*\* In fact, you can _only_ eat your beef cooked – raw is not allowed. (No steak tartare for you!) > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Lightning \* > \*\*So what _do_ they grill? \*\* Well, beef, obviously. Also green and yellow peppers (but not red ones). And eggplant. And I’m sure they’d grill succotash if they could figure out how. You know, I was thinking, it’s kind of weird that there isn’t anybody in the valley. I mean, noone is there. But where is everybody? Of course, if you really look, you’ll find they’re all there somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![earthpuppy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8c91f0/32.png) [@earthpuppy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/earthpuppy)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/74 "2003-06-10T16:49:20Z")
Everyone’s belly button is an inny (no outies) ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/75 "2003-06-10T16:52:30Z")
You have a good point “Aholibah” but even if they all were around somewhere they’d have a eck of a time trying to stay anywhere seeing as there’s no ground. There are creeks in the Valley, but there are no oceans, rivers, lakes, streams, or even water of any kkind. ---
**Author:** ![nahtanoj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@nahtanoj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nahtanoj)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/76 "2003-06-10T17:04:35Z")
I don’t htink I want to visit this valley: The beer has no alcohol! However, the coffee does have caffeine. Plenty of cattle and deer, but no herds. Nahtanoj ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/77 "2003-06-10T17:04:50Z")
In the valley, they agree with Michael Moore, Bill O’Reilly, \and\ Ann Coulter, though no one is Liberal or Conservative. Also, no one votes, but they do go to the polls. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/78 "2003-06-10T17:05:20Z")
Dang it took me a while to figure this out… But in the valley you have knitting needles but no sewing or pins and though you have hooks, you can’t crochet. And there’s football (or soccer), baseball and croquette but no sports. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/79 "2003-06-10T17:08:36Z")
Another happy Valley dwelller! Welcome, **DeVena**! ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/80 "2003-06-10T17:17:37Z")
In this valley, crime is excessive, but not rampant: they have killers, but no murderers; robbers, but no thieves; hoodlums but no delinquents; and crooks but no swindlers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734.md?page=5)