# In the Valley of the Green Glass Doors **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 9, 2003, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734 "2003-06-09T22:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/101 "2003-06-10T21:07:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Torque \* > \*\*So what’s for breakfast? > \*\* Sorry, you can’t have breakfast. You can have dinner or supper, though. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/102 "2003-06-10T21:31:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus \* > \*\*Sorry, you can’t have breakfast. > > You can have dinner or supper, though. \*\* Pfft. It’s all food. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/103 "2003-06-10T21:45:54Z")
That food is filling and yummy, but it’s not substantive or nutritious. Or delicious–more’s the pity. Though there is no pity. There is only compassion. Liberty, equality, and fraternity don’t exist in the Valley, but freedom, even-handedness, and brotherhood do. There are no finances, but plenty of accountants and tons of bookkeepers. There are also beekeepers, street sweepers, and cobblers, but no exterminators, janitors, or shoemakers. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/104 "2003-06-10T21:46:37Z")
And there are no bowls or plates, so you’ll have to eat right off the platter. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/105 "2003-06-10T21:53:36Z")
There are bullets, but no guns. There’s butter, but no guns. No coins, credit cards, or money, but there are bills. (Sounds like some of our lives outside the Valley, doesn’t it?) There’s no work, but you can always apply to the many businesses that drive commerce in the Valley. ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/106 "2003-06-10T21:56:18Z")
There are no jobs but everyone in the Valley has a very successful career or occupation. There is no military in the Valley, neither is there a fire or police department. Fortunately, there are many officers who keep the peace. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/107 "2003-06-10T21:57:12Z")
You can’t eat, but you’ll never starve. There aren’t any drugs, but there are lots of addicts. (I, for one, am now addicted to this game. But there aren’t any games, but you can have a hobby.) You can go on roller coasters and merry-go-rounds, but you’ll never stand on line. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/108 "2003-06-10T21:59:18Z")
Meros–there’s no peace, but there’s no war or disturbance, either. And there’s no crime, but sometimes those accountants embezzle or there’s a robbery. ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/109 "2003-06-10T21:59:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scribble \* > \*\* > > You can go on roller coasters and merry-go-rounds, but you’ll never stand on line. \*\* I for one am going to have to change my name to be able to live in the valley now. Hopefully I’ll be able to find a nice little Villa since there aren’t any houses. ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/110 "2003-06-10T22:01:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scribble \* > \*\*Meros–there’s no peace, but there’s no war or disturbance, either. And there’s no crime, but sometimes those accountants embezzle or there’s a robbery. \*\* I was waiting for someone to catch me on that. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/111 "2003-06-10T22:04:10Z")
No murder, but sometimes people get assassinated. There are seeds, tilling, irrigation, and sharecropping, but, despite all that, there’s never a harvest. Maybe that’s because there’s no nitrogenous fertilizer, even though they sometimes use poop. There are odds and likelihoods, but no probability or statistics. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/112 "2003-06-10T22:09:52Z")
Meros–I’m glad–no, I’m _happy_–to hear that. For me, that’s sufficient, though it’s not enough. ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/113 "2003-06-10T22:12:32Z")
After a little research you will be happy to know, **Scribble** , that there is plenty of goofing off done in the Valley. Especially since work is unknown to its inhabitants. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/114 "2003-06-10T22:12:37Z")
And, unlike you, I don’t have to change my appellation (I have no name.) Nor do I need a new coiffure, though I’ll have to ditch my hairstyle. And, even though I have no wardrobe, I’m not naked or nude. ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/115 "2003-06-10T22:13:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scribble \* > \*\*You can go on roller coasters and merry-go-rounds, but you’ll never stand on line. \*\* And they don’t put horses or ponies on their merry-go-rounds, they use burros which they harness to buggies or surries. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/116 "2003-06-10T22:13:43Z")
Well, there may be goofing off, but there are no slackers. And nothing is unknown, though many things are unseen. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/117 "2003-06-10T22:14:46Z")
Wintermute–there are also carriages, and there are collies used in dogsledding. ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/118 "2003-06-10T22:22:40Z")
**Scribble** -don’t forget the stallions and llamas on that merry-go-round. The valley’s dwellers greatly enjoy passing the milliseconds (the largest measure of time they know) strolling through the valley’s many greens and woodlands ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/119 "2003-06-10T22:30:54Z")
Upping the kitty (not the ante), are you, **Meros**? The dwellers can’t greatly enjoy anything, though there is much rollicking and revelling. And there’s no time, though milliseconds pass. The dwellers don’t know anything, but they have awareness. Actually, take it back–nobody has anything, though dwellers possess stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Meros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Meros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meros)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734/120 "2003-06-10T22:35:44Z")
I’m getting the feeling that my capabilities will soon be outstripped. But I find myself just as addicted as you **scribble**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-valley-of-the-green-glass-doors/180734.md?page=7)