# In the Workplace, by women:  "It's not WHAT you know, it's WHO you Blow."

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-workplace-by-women-its-not-what-you-know-its-who-you-blow/298927>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [April 12, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-workplace-by-women-its-not-what-you-know-its-who-you-blow/298927 "2005-04-12T04:34:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-workplace-by-women-its-not-what-you-know-its-who-you-blow/298927/21 "2005-04-13T14:31:05Z")

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> [@ur8it](#):
>
> …the real kicker is proving the existence of a hostile environment, which in my case, was impossible to do since I relied on corroboration from others, specifically some women who did comply and got something in return… to them, they felt they had a good thing going, they wanted to keep their jobs, and they didn’t mind the “exchange” so they’d rather deny it all

Sounds like **MelCthefirst** and you encountered similar situations.

That DOES make it more complicated, when the women in question are _willing_ participants in doing an end-run around the _idea_ of a strict-merit system.

> [@MelCthefirst](#):
>
> I might add that these women are not bimbos - they are skilled and intelligent workers, making the whole thing a lot more complicated and insidious.

Oh yes, those are worse, that skill and intelligence makes the disconnect easier, because knowing they could do the job on merit, _but so could others_, they see proferring of sexual favors an “edge”, a little something extra they can throw in _if they want to_, but don’t _have_ to. Intelligent people can rationalize just about any conduct if they really put their mind to it.

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**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-workplace-by-women-its-not-what-you-know-its-who-you-blow/298927/22 "2005-04-13T18:30:36Z")

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In my career, I’ve seen this kind of behavior a lot – ambitious people using sex, connections, whatever they can to get ahead. Good luck trying to stop 'em.

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**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\
**Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-the-workplace-by-women-its-not-what-you-know-its-who-you-blow/298927/23 "2005-04-13T20:55:34Z")

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On a related note - bullying in the workplace is also alive and kicking. With both bullying and sexual harassment, nothing can be done if the organisation condones it. This may be by doing nothing or it may be by protecting people who have complaints laid against them - usually because they are in high places or they have friends or family in high places. Your only recourse, should you be the one being bullied, is to leave - it is also the only way to maintain your sanity. In organisations that have active policies - you have a better chance of survival and your complaints will be taken seriously. I’m guessing that in these type of orgs. bullying and sexual harassment are less likely to crop up in the first place.

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