# In What Have You Achieved Perfection? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303 "2006-06-03T18:48:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/21 "2006-06-04T11:52:40Z")
I can lace knee-high boots, one-handed, in less than 4 seconds. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/22 "2006-06-04T12:30:34Z")
I think I’ve pretty much perfected taking all the scratches and noise off records with the computer, and making new, pristine-sounding CDs of them. Last night I did the first album in mono by The Association, because it’s never been reissued. Some of the musical content aside, it sounds absolutely flawless now. _And then along comes Mary…_ ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/23 "2006-06-04T12:51:12Z")
I am still working on it, but I one day I hope to be the perfect grump. “Fetch me my teeth nurse, I just dropped them here next to my wheelchair…no, bend the other way. The other way!” 😛 But actually, I’m mostly just pretty good at lots of things so…perfection at non-perfection perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/24 "2006-06-04T13:26:28Z")
> [@Mayo Speaks!](#): > > I have achieved a score of 18 on [**Miniputt I**](http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/miniputt.php) after years of failed attempts. (Hole #4 will be the death of me.) OMG do I love MiniPutt. You have set a new bar for me to reach. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/25 "2006-06-04T13:36:21Z")
I’d bet that 99% of dopers have achieved Zen-like perfection in the ancient art of onanism. ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/26 "2006-06-04T14:36:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I believe I have also perfected an art that doesn’t have a nifty name, but I’ll call it ‘Leaving things to the last possible minute but actually getting them done’. It’s the perfect, finely-tuned marriage of laziness/procrastination on the one hand with responsibility/efficiency/conscientiousness on the other. Me too! It is an underapreciated skill, I must say. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/27 "2006-06-04T14:59:54Z")
> [@ianzin](#): > > I believe I have also perfected an art that doesn’t have a nifty name, but I’ll call it ‘Leaving things to the last possible minute _but_ actually getting them done’. It’s the perfect, finely-tuned marriage of laziness/procrastination on the one hand with responsibility/efficiency/conscientiousness on the other. Me three. 😃 I never miss a deadline, but I think my co-workers, teachers, and fellow Toastmasters would be dismayed to ever discover just how close I usually get. And not only do I get things done, I get them done _well_: I finish my documentation at the last minute and there are hardly ever any errors; I write my papers at the last minute (sometimes mere hours before they are due) and I get "A"s; I never write speeches, I just come up with a vague outline in my mind and then wing it, and I always get positive evaluations and feedback. This is not to say that I never finish anything “early” (in fact just last week I finished something a few days early), and if someone else’s work is dependent on mine I’ll be more conscientious about it, but in general I’m pretty much a last-minute kind of worker. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/28 "2006-06-04T15:27:56Z")
I make the world’s tastiest vegetarian suasage gravy and biscuits. And I’m a Yankee. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/29 "2006-06-04T15:38:07Z")
I maintained perfect attendance in school, all the way from kindergarten to my senior year. Not too many people can honestly make this claim. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/30 "2006-06-04T15:38:15Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > I never miss a deadline… Then you just don’t have enough to do. I predict you will be assigned more and more until you finally cannot keep up. Business abhors a happy worker. ---
**Author:** ![vinniepaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@vinniepaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vinniepaz)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/31 "2006-06-04T19:17:13Z")
I can beat Super Mario Bros. 3 in under 20 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/32 "2006-06-04T20:46:24Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > Then you just don’t have enough to do. I predict you will be assigned more and more until you finally cannot keep up. Business abhors a happy worker. Meh, it’s worked well enough for the past 13 years. 😉 I _am_ about to take on my first management job (fingers crossed), but I don’t see why that should make me mend my last-minute ways… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/33 "2006-06-04T23:13:32Z")
> [@dwc1970](#): > > I maintained perfect attendance in school, all the way from kindergarten to my senior year. Not too many people can honestly make this claim. Gary Grundeman did when I was in school. You should be very proud. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2006, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/34 "2006-06-05T00:42:34Z")
I am a master of: Cooking: Home Fries Smoked ribs The Omelette Paneed veal with Fettucine Alfredo (comes with its own heart attack) Socially: I order extremely well at restaurants. Poker: I have studied, read books, bought the Wilson Software, played on the internet and I am absolutely, undeniably perfect. I never win. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2006, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/35 "2006-06-05T01:02:33Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I’d bet that 99% of dopers have achieved Zen-like perfection in the ancient art of onanism. Oh, og! I’m such a failure! Wait…what? > [@Hal Briston](#): > > I achieved a final score of of Me - 0, each of my opponents - 104. That comes from “shooting the moon” on the first four hands, nailing all my opponents for 26 points each time. Sheer perfection! I’m confused: do you mean a subject in which I have become perfect, or do you mean a subject where I’ve achieved a perfect result by chance or otherwise? ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2006, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/36 "2006-06-05T02:23:25Z")
my ballet teacher says I have training video piquer turns and assembles. There’s no such thing as perfection in ballet, but “training video” is better than what everyone else in the class has. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/37 "2006-06-15T01:32:07Z")
> [@Mayo Speaks!](#): > > I have achieved a score of 18 on [**Miniputt I**](http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/miniputt.php) after years of failed attempts. (Hole #4 will be the death of me.) You know, for the past 11 days, I have often found myself wishing that I had never clicked that link. That blasted game is _insanely addictive!_ Anyway, after several sleepless days and nights, a number of scientific approaches to the problem (none of which really worked better than simple eyeballing), and finally reaching a trance-like state where I could “feel” the holes… well, look at [the screenshot](http://img115.imageshack.us/img115/6017/screenie3ka.jpg) and weep! Sorry to steal your achievement, by the way, but once I got started with this thing I couldn’t stop myself. Oh, and try not to feel bad that about those years of failed attempts vs. my 11 days. In actual time spent playing, we’re probably pretty close. Man, it really does feel great to have achieved something in life. And best of all, now I never have to go near that cursed game again. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/38 "2006-06-15T02:39:39Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > I am the King of Soup. [Oh, really?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php?userid=45408)😃 Me, I can make the perfect, and I mean toes curling \*perfect \* Manhattan without measuring a damned thing besides my own desire. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/39 "2006-06-15T17:16:16Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I’d bet that 99% of dopers have achieved Zen-like perfection in the ancient art of onanism. I have to say I’ve achieved perfection at being the other 1% --no waking orgasms in many years! ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303/40 "2006-06-15T17:40:03Z")
I have it on good authority that my rack is perfection. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-have-you-achieved-perfection/359303.md?page=3)