# In what ways don't you have the sense God gave goose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 20, 2017, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413 "2017-06-20T02:08:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2017, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/21 "2017-06-20T13:49:36Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > I argue w/ internet people. No you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2017, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/22 "2017-06-20T16:26:30Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Here’s how I would have done it: Gone way too fast, then dialed it back. Crashed the car twice. Probably wiped out some spectators. Tried a weird-ass plan involving attaching the car to a blimp and flying over the circuit. Made a huge mess of everything. At that point, I would have it all figured out. But then I would have to go into hiding for a year, change my identity, and come back next year, to do it properly from scratch. Props for making me laugh out loud, though. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2017, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/23 "2017-06-20T16:36:28Z")
I think I can change the minds’ of Trump supporters with facts and reasonable discussion. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2017, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/24 "2017-06-20T17:49:23Z")
Me too on the social behavior/cognitive thing. I’m ashamed to say how educational it was for me to listen to Penny give Sheldon Cooper advice on how to deal with social situations. I try to say a mantra to myself at work and when going among people: “Make eye contact, smile, ask about their children”. If I don’t do this, I’ll just act like other people don’t exist in my world. It’s not snobbery, it’s just something off in the way I’m wired. It seems to come so easy for a lot of people. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2017, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/25 "2017-06-20T18:03:35Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I also have absolutely no sense of direction. Thank goodness for GPS. I used to get hopelessly lost before it was invented and sometimes never found my destination. > > In what ways are you functionally retarded? ^^^ This. I get lost in buildings, trying to figure out which way was/is the front of the building where I came in. I go out for long walks but several times have had to call home whimpering, “Can you go on Google Maps and tell me where I need to go to get to Smith Street? I must have taken a wrong turn” ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2017, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/26 "2017-06-20T18:27:56Z")
I am always amazed that a reasonably intelligent, reasonably coordinated person such as myself could be as utterly mechanically inept as I am. What are, I expect, simple tasks to many- replacing a car battery or headlight, really minor plumbing things, etc.- always feel like a huge triumph to me when I do them. For almost anything else around the house, I’ve long since given up attempting anything DIY and I just pay a professional. I’ve resigned myself to a very high probability that if I try a repair or replacement, something will go wrong and it will be my fault- over time I’ve probably stripped enough screws and bolts to fill a wheelbarrow. Even when I don’t actually break something in my own attempts at repair, the final result inevitably looks like the completely amateur job that it was. Surely these things can’t be that hard. And yet. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2017, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/27 "2017-06-20T18:46:10Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > ^^^ This. I get lost in buildings, trying to figure out which way was/is the front of the building where I came in. I go out for long walks but several times have had to call home whimpering, “Can you go on Google Maps and tell me where I need to go to get to Smith Street? I must have taken a wrong turn” The other day I got lost in someone’s basement, looking for the exit because I thought I was on the first floor. It was a nicely finished basement, but come on. > [@Haunted\_Pasta](#): > > I am always amazed that a reasonably intelligent, reasonably coordinated person such as myself could be as utterly mechanically inept as I am. What are, I expect, simple tasks to many- replacing a car battery or headlight, really minor plumbing things, etc.- always feel like a huge triumph to me when I do them. For almost anything else around the house, I’ve long since given up attempting anything DIY and I just pay a professional. I’ve resigned myself to a very high probability that if I try a repair or replacement, something will go wrong and it will be my fault- over time I’ve probably stripped enough screws and bolts to fill a wheelbarrow. Even when I don’t actually break something in my own attempts at repair, the final result inevitably looks like the completely amateur job that it was. > > Surely these things can’t be that hard. And yet. I’m pretty sure my husband could screw up even hanging a picture frame. Actually, I have witnessed him screw that up. It’s just better for all concerned if I do the household repairs and furniture assembly, even if I might occasionally electrocute myself. He’s a very intelligent guy but I once told him that he was way overdue for an oil change because the oil was black. His response: ''Isn’t oil supposed to be black?" Then there are his cooking skills, his recent ‘‘revelation’’ that you can heat a pot faster if you put a lid on it, and the time he tried to make mashed potatoes by mashing the potatoes before cooking them. He has a Ph.D. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/28 "2017-06-21T10:31:33Z")
Knowing when to shut up. I seem unable to read the subtleties of social situations, and end up talking when I shouldn’t. I’ve learned to enter all coerced\* social gatherings with a background voice running in my head (“Don’t talk, don’t talk, keep your mouth shut”) over and over again. My wife says the main problem is not recognizing subtle status and pecking order cues running in the background of groups of males. She says a lot of the boastful banter about who watched what event in sports runs deeper than just recounting games. That it can be a dominance thing as they try to establish alpha/beta/etc. status by who has more access and knowledge of sports arcana and who’s team won/lost. Then I screw it up by recounting something more interesting when they ask me what I last weekend. \*coerced = anything involving work or family – when I’m obligated to be there. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/29 "2017-06-21T21:20:30Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > Zero sense of direction here - only GPS and accompanying software can save me. (I remember what it was like in the old days, and it was NOT pretty.) > > Also, while I have pretty good insight into my social/cognitive failings (I am prone to overlooking social niceties, and I have great trouble recognizing/remembering faces - prosopagnosia, if you want the technical term), I constantly forget to engage my compensatory skills. > > In other words, I KNOW I’m going to have trouble with social give and take, and remembering faces, so ideally I should go into social situations thinking “note to self - ask as many questions about the other person as you get asked! Look carefully at their features to try to memorize what they look like!” > > But about half the time, I completely forget to compensate. I come back from meeting someone, and realize I have NO IDEA what they look like - even though I spent 90 minutes with them, and could have reminded myself to memorize their features. > > On the plus side, I’ve gotten better over the years. At 20, I was hopeless. At 30, it was beginning to dawn on me that I had some issues. At 40, I was beginning to figure out coping strategies. At 50, I was starting to use them sometimes. I’m 58 now, and by 60 I hope to be able to mimic a normal person the majority of the time. This is exactly what I came to say. My sense of direction is literally nonexistent. I may have told this here once before, but once I was bringing my daughter home from an appointment, a trip I had done several times. This one time I missed a turn, didn’t realize it and drove miles out of the way. We finally passed a Walmart I hadn’t seen before and said, I didn’t realize there was a Walmart there. Anyway, it’s now a constant line in my house if I misplace something or I’m looking for something I’m told, did you check Walmart. I don’t trust myself with GPS because I also really have no sense of distance. I need directions that give me landmarks. I’m sure the two are related. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/30 "2017-06-21T21:27:28Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > At age 70, I still tend to eat like a teenager. I know things like pizza and fries and the like are not good things, but just can’t bring myself to eat twigs and leaves. I’ll probably die with a fistful of French fries in one hand and a bacon cheeseburger in the other. I’m the same way, and I think it makes a lot of sense. Pleasure now is overriding possible bad effects later. /rationalization ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/31 "2017-06-21T21:56:03Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I’m the same way, and I think it makes a lot of sense. Pleasure now is overriding possible bad effects later. /rationalization Lunch yesterday was a fried chicken sandwich and a pile of frites the size of a small mountain. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/32 "2017-06-21T22:21:11Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > . . .I’ve learned to enter all coerced\* social gatherings with a background voice running in my head (“Don’t talk, don’t talk, keep your mouth shut”) over and over again. > > . . . Yeppers. I have something similar playing in my head: “Remember, no one is interested in what interests you.” That way, I don’t start talking about the latest _Alien_ movie to a bunch of grandmothers (my peer group). ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/33 "2017-06-21T22:58:50Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > Yeppers. I have something similar playing in my head: “Remember, no one is interested in what interests you.” That way, I don’t start talking about the latest _Alien_ movie to a bunch of grandmothers (my peer group). What the heck to do, though? I mean, at least in a situation where actually having a conversation is the current plan. Of course, you can show interest in whatever the other person is yakking about. But when I do that, I seem to end up in way to many conversations that involve 1) Donald Trump, 2) sports, and of course 3), casual homophobia & racism. About which I 1) don’t give a f\*\*\*, 2) don’t give a f\*\*\*, and 3), actually have some opinions, which sure aren’t the same as the other person’s. Hey, wait. I know what I need: A different social circle. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/34 "2017-06-21T23:12:52Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Lunch yesterday was a fried chicken sandwich and a pile of frites the size of a small mountain. :rolleyes: Yum. The capper for me is, savory/salty must be followed up with sweet. So Ben & Jerry’s would ensue a few hours after a lunch like yours. :o ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2017, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/35 "2017-06-21T23:42:37Z")
Whenever I find a woman I’m interested in, I either ignore her or say something completely stupid. I don’t know which is worse. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2017, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/36 "2017-06-22T04:13:37Z")
It’s really strange that I happened to come upon this thread this evening. I was trying to remember how this particular expression goes – you know, which animal people who have no sense are usually compared to – and I was completely at a loss. For some reason, I thought that it might be a slug, but apparently it’s a goose, huh? Good to know. ---
**Author:** ![Marci\_Al](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Marci\_Al](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marci_Al)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2017, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/37 "2017-06-22T04:39:13Z")
[never mind] ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2017, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/38 "2017-06-22T10:29:59Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > Yeppers. I have something similar playing in my head: “Remember, no one is interested in what interests you.” That way, I don’t start talking about the latest _Alien_ movie to a bunch of grandmothers (my peer group). I remind myself of that at work, constantly. I sit in a cubicle farm filled only with the rehash of weekend sports events. Last weekend I… -Visited a college where the students run a dairy farm, a grain mill, a cannery, and a 5 star restaurant, and there is no tuition other than work (they graduate debt-free). I ate dinner at the restaurant, and it was fabulous. -Toured a hydroelectric dam, and even got to handle one of the turbine wheels that had been removed for service. -Visited a veteran’s museum which had a “wall” (like Viet Nam memorial) containing the names of every serviceperson lost in WWII, Korea, VietNam, and all the middle east conflicts of late. It was mind-boggling and disturbing to stand in that sea of names. -Visited a private car collection containing an identical car to the 1954 Plymouth that I learned to drive in. -Rode 40 miles on a train made entirely of 1950’s vintage cars/locomotives. Even ate in the “dining” car. Those are the things I did on Father’s Day weekend, but if I try to tell anyone at work I get: “Yeah, yeah pullin, didja see when Buford catched that ball?” Sigh… ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2017, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/39 "2017-06-22T12:48:09Z")
> [@Haunted\_Pasta](#): > > For almost anything else around the house, I’ve long since given up attempting anything DIY and I just pay a professional. This is the correct thing to do, for many multiple reasons. Do not mess with something you don’t understand; Professionals have the experience and tools to do it quickly, efficiently, and with a certain amount of insurance that it will get sorted out; and it’s cheaper in the long run. I am a physical klutz when it comes to practical DIY jobs. I struggle with Lego, for pete’s sake. I don’t even like it when the Landlord comes in to fix something, even though it’s his responsibility, because he is as likely to make a pig’s ear of it as I am. Get the damned professionals in. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2017, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413/40 "2017-06-22T13:28:23Z")
I don’t give a damn about my health. I figure stressing out about it will kill me quicker than ignoring it. And I rarely get sick. I’m very intelligent, but I have NO sense of direction. And I mean none. I get lost in my own home town, where I’ve lived for thirty years. It’s totally genetic–nobody in my family has any sense of direction. I blame the Howard family, being a direct descendant of Annie Lucy Howard, one of the founding families of New England, and the same Howards that gave us the Ohio Taft politicos. I figure they were looking for a nice picnic spot they heard about just outside Boston and gave us when they hit what is now Ohio. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-what-ways-dont-you-have-the-sense-god-gave-goose/789413.md?page=3)