# In which I mildly pit CK Dexter's patronizing finger-wag **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 20, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836 "2004-12-20T19:15:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/1 "2004-12-20T19:15:18Z")
Thread page that pertains- [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=291964&page=3](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=291964&page=3) (scroll toward bottom) **CK Dexter,** this is a decidedly condescending, embarrassing, and ultimately undeserved hand-slap of the Doper known as **Rubystreak.** Before declaring that it’s time for the latter to “let real life take over,” you make a point to suggest _twice_ that “personal issues” may be affecting the way he or she is posting within the thread in question. I ask any interested party to examine the aforementioned thread and explain to me where any of **Rubystreak** ’s comments were aggressive/offensive/pugnacious enough to merit such a condescending public scold. Especially coming a good five hours after **R.** wished to head off any additional tense feeling among _Apprentice_ Dopers with this offering: _ **I am not willing to go to the mattresses for Jenn** _ (source of the _Apprentice_ discussion in question -M.B. ), _ **since I just don’t care that much. I’m going to unsubscribe to this thread, and I hope you will just continue the conversation without me. I never took this show very seriously and was just trying to be the Devil’s advocate. This thread has already spawned a Pit thread, and I’d like to avoid another one.** _ Over the past few months **Rubystreak** has intelligently, eloquently, and _evenhandedly_ advanced a minority opinion pertaining to this guilty pleasure of a TV show that more than a few of us in Cafe Society have grown to love. Because he/she chose to continue defending this opinion–spiritedly, I’ll grant; I fail to detect what **Carnac** labeled as “vitriol”–in the face of increasing and occasionally pesty disagreement, you, **CK,** felt compelled to publicly address **RS** as an immature, slightly maladjusted, reality TV-addicted child. This is a woefully unfair summation that, I submit, was colored not a little by your completely humorless disdain for anyone foolish enough to derive pleasure from (much less _talk about_!) these harmless segments of trashy pseudo-reality. Disappointing, to say the least. For a moderator, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/2 "2004-12-20T19:32:45Z")
OK, I only read **Dexter’s** two posts, but it appears to me that **Rubystreak** , was the person who actually reported the thread to Moderators. He/she was making a formal complaint about being “misquoted” and then **Dexter** had to go in there and find out what the hell was going on. Then, only after reading through a stupid thread about a ridiculous show, he/she doesn’t find any “misquoting” offense. Instead, he/she only find **Rubystreak** getting all caught up, emotional, and insulting other Dopers. I’d be kinda pissed about that too. But either way, I really see nothing wrong with any condescending or embarrassing hand-slaps. condescending, embarrassing, and ultimately undeserved hand-slap. And I disagree that a warning was undeserved. There was name calling in Cafe Society. That calls for a warning. If the warning came out a little frustrated or mean, then people around here could maybe benefit from some thicker skin. I have no dog in this fight. I just don’t think it was a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/3 "2004-12-20T19:37:22Z")
**CK Dexter** posted in that thread? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/4 "2004-12-20T19:48:11Z")
I thought **Dex** was pretty even-tempered. In _every_ Apprentice thread, **Rubystreak** ’s obsession with defending Jen has been heavy-handed, tempermental, and angry. It was easy enough for me to skip **Rubystreak** ’s posts each week, and not bait him, and I definitely think **JThunder** deserves equal blame for antagonizing an already grumpy person. But **Rubystreak** introduced tension into the threads, and I don’t think, even realized it. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/5 "2004-12-20T21:20:54Z")
> [@Rysler](#): > > I thought **Dex** was pretty even-tempered. Whether he was even-tempered is not the issue. Neither is whether **Rubystreak** complained or not. If **CK Dexter** ain’t diggin’ some of his less glamorous moderator duties, maybe it’s time to turn in the badge. I wasn’t aware this kind of snide belittling of a Doper–or that Doper’s taste in entertainment–was in **CK** ’s job description. (And the “get a tougher skin” defense is a cop-out, **Bear,** all due respect. If that were the answer, then insults and flaming would theoretically be allowed in every forum.) **JThunder** seemed to dog **RS** with all the _nyah-nyah_ relentlessness of a five-year-old. When **RS** felt he may have gone over the line by twisting his words, he said something about it. His only mistake I see was lodging the complaint with the Cary Grant character in question. > [@Rysler](#): > > In _every_ Apprentice thread, **Rubystreak** ’s obsession with defending Jen has been heavy-handed, tempermental, and angry. Would greatly appreciate specific examples of this. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2004, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/6 "2004-12-20T21:48:15Z")
Dude, **Rubystreak** himself (herself?) said: > [@](#): > > **I think other stresses in my life are seeping into my posts unconsciously** , because I definitely don’t care that much about Jennifer Massey. Hope you all will forgive me and accept my promise that\*\* I will watch my tone from now on\*\*. It’ll be easier after Xmas and once 2004, **a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year for me,** is over. Emphasis added. I would say Dex’s read was spot on. With that said, kudos to **Ruby** for a classy reply. If you’re reading this, Happy Holidays and Best wishes for the New Year. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/7 "2004-12-21T00:16:22Z")
> [@Moody Bastard](#): > > Whether he was even-tempered is not the issue. Neither is whether **Rubystreak** complained or not. If **CK Dexter** ain’t diggin’ some of his less glamorous moderator duties, maybe it’s time to turn in the badge. I wasn’t aware this kind of snide belittling of a Doper–or that Doper’s taste in entertainment–was in **CK** ’s job description. Dude… what board have _you_ been reading? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/8 "2004-12-21T00:16:43Z")
**Moody Bastard** , thanks for defending me. I love ya for it. You’ll be on my happy list for a long time. **Rysler** , the reason I said that my stresses must have been seeping into my posts is because I really didn’t think I was that nasty. Or at least, not any nastier than **JThunder** , who just could NOT drop the subject about Jenn, even after several posters other than me asked him to. The disagreement between \*\*JThunder \*\* and myself went back to the previous thread about the show, so we were already aggravated at each other when the thread in question started. I’m sure other posters have encountered this phenomenon, where they perceive their own posts one way but everyone else seemingly thinks they are over the top, hostile, whatever. That’s what happened to me. I didn’t see what I was saying that was so vitriolic or nasty, esp. compared to some others, so I had to assume that I was unconsciously allowing my holiday, work, and house hunting stress to seep in there. How else could I account for the disparity between what I thought I was saying and what everyone else perceived? I also think Kelly is a dick and Carolyn has a problem with other women in the workplace, and of course that comes from personal experience and from my studies as an undergrad. It seems pretty flagrantly clear to me, but JThunder seems to think it was “extreme” of me to say so, and extreme of me to call a character on the show an idiot. Bottom line, I think JThunder is a fucking jerk, and I’m sure he thinks the same of me. Not because of our views on the show, because like I said, who cares about that? No, because of his needling, twisting of words, perseveration on dead topics, and overall obnoxiousness. But I did ask CK to check the thread out, because I was sick of JThunder’s jerkishness. I should never have asked for help, because CK couldn’t know about the posting history between **JThunder** and me, and I should have just Pitted his ass on my own. Eh, live and learn. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/9 "2004-12-21T05:12:01Z")
Hmm… **Moody Bastard** is complaining that **Dex** is being… a… _moody bastard_. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/10 "2004-12-21T10:41:31Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > Or at least, not any nastier than JThunder, who just could NOT drop the subject about Jenn, even after several posters other than me asked him to. Why should he drop the subject? You don’t drop subjects easily yourself, as I know from experience. Just because you and several other posters don’t like someone talking about Jenn in an Apprentice thread doesn’t mean members are obligated to walk on glass and discuss only what pleases you and your buddies. This is a public message board. Look out your window. See those bipedal creatures? Those are “other people”. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/11 "2004-12-21T12:57:47Z")
As explanation, I was unaware of prior antagonisms between the principle contenders, and so I read through only the one thread… from which it looked very much like one side “started it.” Apparently there’s a long history, and as Moderator, I’m suggesting they shake hands and make nice at each other – tis the season for auld disagreements to be forgot. I also apologize if I was a bit short and somewhat impolitic with **rubystreak**. It had been an annoying day, and the last thing I wanted to do was to read through a thread that was of no interest whatsoever to me. That tends to make me grumpy, and I was already sleepy and sneezy. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/12 "2004-12-21T13:13:14Z")
If it’s not acceptable for one member to insult another member in forums outside of the Pit, and a strict interpetation of that rule is taken, (like no alluding that they have mental problems), is it acceptable for a moderator to say that a member is mentally unbalanced there? Telling them that a certain behavior is against the rules is one thing, but going on to talk about their mental state is (my opinion anyway) a horse of a different color. It looks like a cheap shot. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/13 "2004-12-21T13:43:57Z")
Those were my thoughts as well **catsix.** Thanks for the back-up. Hats off to **Dexter** for owning up to his share. I hereby de-Pit thee! ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-mildly-pit-ck-dexters-patronizing-finger-wag/280836/14 "2004-12-21T19:49:20Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Why should he drop the subject? You don’t drop subjects easily yourself, as I know from experience. Just because you and several other posters don’t like someone talking about Jenn in an Apprentice thread doesn’t mean members are obligated to walk on glass and discuss only what pleases you and your buddies. This is a public message board. Look out your window. See those bipedal creatures? Those are “other people”. I can’t believe you came into this thread to give me shit after making nice with me in your other idiotic and groundless Apprentice-related Pit thread on **twickster**. Grrrr. You have no class at all. First of all, get your fucking facts straight before you attack me. No one told anyone not to talk about Jenn. How could anyone discuss the finale without talking about Jenn? Duh. The subject that everyone wanted dropped was the question of whether or not Jenn stole credit from Ivana, which was two episodes before. Got that? OK, let’s move on. Why should **JThunder** have dropped this particular topic of discussion? Because it got too heated for Cafe Society and dragged out way past its shelf-life, that’s why. We both nearly got ourselves a Pitting in the previous thread, and several other posters expressed annoyance, even posters that totally disagreed with me, so don’t make it sound like it was just my buddies trying to bully him into shutting up, OK? A lot of people, including me, were sick of the fighting over that particular point. He ignored all objections just to keep pounding that nail in thread after thread, pulling threads off-topic and into an argumentative quagmire. I believe that qualifies as jerkish behavior, which is unsuitable for that forum. At that point he was deliberately antagonistic and he knew it. But on another note, thanks a lot **Liberal** for erasing the positive feelings I had towards you from your peace offering in your Pit thread. I now know what kind of guy you are and will be sure to remember that in my future dealings with you. I hope you have a Merry Xmas anyway-- even Ebenezer Scrooge had one.