# In Which I Rant Incoherently Against Jane Seymour's Good Intentions **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 15, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278 "2008-12-15T19:55:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/21 "2008-12-15T21:22:52Z")
You know that there is something wrong with a piece of jewelry when … your first reaction on seeing it is to attempt to remember what the plural of “scrotum” is (“scrotums”? “scrota”?). Unless of course that is the reaction intended by the _creator_ of said jewelry. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/22 "2008-12-15T21:29:19Z")
Hmmm … you might be onto something there. Possibly the design is a way of saying, “Here, honey, here are some diamonds for you to hang around your neck. Now I get to tea-bag you.” ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/23 "2008-12-15T21:30:02Z")
> [@Sierra\_Indigo](#): > > Is there a still image of the two-butts? [Try this,](http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/category%7C10101%7C10001%7C-1%7C19002%7C15064%7C15064.19002%7CY?cm_mmc=google-_-keywords-_-branded_terms-_-jane_seymour) it’s the jewelry store chain that carries her designs. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/24 "2008-12-15T21:32:33Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Hmmm … you might be onto something there. Possibly the design is a way of saying, “Here, honey, here are some diamonds for you to hang around your neck. Now I get to tea-bag you.” Correction: now I _and a friend_ get to tea-bag you. Simultaneously. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/25 "2008-12-15T21:45:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Why can’t she just stay an actress? Why do actors always think they have some other special gift to give? Why, Lord, why? Because when the source of your fame is pretending to be someone else, you don’t feel like people like YOU. So you try to do something “meaningful” under your own name. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/26 "2008-12-15T21:50:59Z")
What she really needs is an alcoholic superhero to carve the design into the moon. It’d totally work. I saw it in this documentary once… ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/27 "2008-12-15T21:51:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Due to high demand for the Open Hearts by Jane Seymour collection, quantities are limited. Please continue to check back as our stores and website are receiving new shipments daily. We apologize for any inconvenience. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/28 "2008-12-15T21:54:29Z")
> [@ntucker](#): > > I can see the butts, but it mostly looks like a stylized cobra to me. A warm, huggable, loving cobra. Give one to your sweetheart today! [Cobras are adorable!](http://www.webcomicsnation.com/shaenongarrity/skinhorse/series.php?view=archive&chapter=27154) ---
**Author:** ![Zhen\_ka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zhen\_ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zhen_ka)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/29 "2008-12-15T21:59:54Z")
> [@cmkeller](#): > > Because when the source of your fame is pretending to be someone else, you don’t feel like people like YOU. So you try to do something “meaningful” under your own name. Or you just post anonymously on a messageboard!! Win–Win!! ps. OP-- I wish I had a fraction of the money she’s making on this holiday promotion. So do you. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/30 "2008-12-15T21:59:55Z")
What is most amusing to me about that commercial is that she “worked with” Kay to come up with that. I mean, how much work could it have taken? And what was rejected along the way? The idea might have been a fairly good one if the two hearts were upright and entwined or overlapping, but as it is it, it just looks silly. It’s hard to believe that professional jewelers okayed that thing. Maybe they were just so eager to get Seymour behind it that they gave her carte blanche contractually and were obliged to go with whatever she came up with and their contribution was limited to trying to come up with suitable ways to embellish and/or dangle it. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/31 "2008-12-15T22:13:16Z")
Well you can buy the [artwork](http://www.pcart.com/SeymourHealingHeartsOpenHeart100872Watercolor.htm). I mean if you don’t mind having a two minute sketch of T&A on your wall. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/32 "2008-12-15T22:15:49Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Ever since Medicine Woman ended and the networks stopped producing miniseries, poor Jane has been at loose ends… Let’s just be grateful she didn’t produce a children’s book… ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/33 "2008-12-15T22:17:58Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > While i think Seymour’s design is crap, her “pompous” ad claims are no more silly than the claim that wearing crappy Axe deodorant suddenly makes men irresistible to women. I disagree. Axe’s statement is similar to most diamond ads: “Use/buy this and you will get laid!” This is less sweeping a statement than “producing a universal symbol of hope and love”. ---
**Author:** ![Giltathriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b38774/32.png) [@Giltathriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giltathriel)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/34 "2008-12-15T22:44:25Z")
Good to see I’m not the only one. The design is ugly and “universal symbol of hope and love”? Gag. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/35 "2008-12-15T22:55:45Z")
[Quote=Gangster Octopus] Secondly, Jane Seymour says, “It is my wish that my open heart desing becomes a universal symbnol of hope and love. Because if your heart is open, love will always find away.” Talk about your over grandiose schmaltzy bullshit. Folks at Hallmark throw up when they see that commerical. The Dalai Lama is laughing at Jane Seymour. [/quote] To be fair, I’m hoping the script I’m writing becomes the universal symbol of hope and love as well. Because if that happens, I’m fixing to make a shit-ton of money. > [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Still, not as stupid as “Every Kiss Begins With Kay”. I’ve never really thought about it before, but essentially they’re saying, “Wanna get some ass? We got ya covered.” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/36 "2008-12-15T23:10:38Z")
That sums up 90% of all advertising in the history of the universe. “Drink this beer/soda and watch bikini-clad hotties parachute into your yard! Drive this car and lingerie models will fight to occupy your passenger seat! Use this shampoo and shirtless firemen will walk in slow motion through your kitchen!” The other 10% of advertising is summarized by “this product will make your kids shut up for a minute.” ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/37 "2008-12-15T23:12:34Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > What is most amusing to me about that commercial is that she “worked with” Kay to come up with that. > . Especially since Mr “K” died a few years back … I know, mrAru and I went to the memorial service they held for him at the spiffy chapel a thte sub base here in new london [he was a great supporter of the sub fleet, I hear he threw great parties for them down in Ft Lauderdale. mrAru said he was a pretty sweet guy.] And we both think the necklace looks like tag team teabagging=) ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/38 "2008-12-15T23:14:21Z")
Nothing says love like conjoined asses. Yay! Another reason to never want diamonds. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/39 "2008-12-15T23:17:21Z")
Huh, the jewelry itself looks to me just like a gaudy, diamond encrusted flamingo. Sans the legs, of course. It’s really tacky… Or, you know, a couple of butts. Whatevah! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/40 "2008-12-15T23:18:23Z")
God damn that thing is ugly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278.md?page=3)