# In Which I Rant Incoherently Against Jane Seymour's Good Intentions **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 15, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278 "2008-12-15T19:55:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/61 "2008-12-16T06:21:56Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > It’s the same “style” they always use when they’re trying to disguise the fact that some actress has gotten a little long in the tooth. They use that visual effect so the trowel marks left when applying her makeup won’t be so glaring in HD. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/62 "2008-12-16T06:32:54Z")
> [@Uvula\_Donor](#): > > They use that visual effect so the trowel marks left when applying her makeup won’t be so glaring in HD. Ouch. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/63 "2008-12-16T07:39:57Z")
> [@crowmanyclouds](#): > > Nothing. Absolutely [nothing](http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryProductsViewAllView?storeId=10101&catalogId=10001&langId=-1&categoryId=19002&topCatId=15064&bcCatIds=15064.19002&Ne=1&Ntk=Category&Ntt=19002&N=0&NPrice=+0&itemsPerPage=24). > > CMC +fnord! Good lord, they’ve left no stone unturned there, have they? That’s just an entire gallimaufry of the grotesque, ain’t it? Stunning–in the same way a large brick to the back of the head is. Was it SNL that had the “Diamonds–she’ll pretty much HAVE to!” sketch? ---
**Author:** ![Mesquite-oh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@Mesquite-oh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mesquite-oh)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/64 "2008-12-16T07:46:37Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > The idea might have been a fairly good one if the two hearts were upright and entwined or overlapping, but as it is it, it just looks silly. It’s hard to believe that professional jewelers okayed that thing. > Maybe they were just so eager to get Seymour behind it that they gave her carte blanche contractually and were obliged to go with whatever she came up with and their contribution was limited to trying to come up with suitable ways to embellish and/or dangle it. Well, the website says that they are out of stock of the $600 diamond pendant, so they must be doing something right. Selling lots of jewelry is the point of their existence, even if it does look like butts and has a washed up (although fairly well preserved) spokeswoman. I am fairly sure that a big store like Kay’s wouldn’t go all out with a special jewelry design and a nationwide every 30 minute commercial blitz right before Christmas unless they test marketed first. I guess that they tapped into the nation’s desire to wear double scrotumed jewelry. ---
**Author:** ![Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brown_eyed_girl/32/3574_2.png) [@Brown\_Eyed\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brown_Eyed_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/65 "2008-12-16T07:50:35Z")
> [@Mesquite-oh](#): > > I guess that they tapped into the nation’s desire to wear double scrotumed jewelry. And here we were all concerned about the sagging economy. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/66 "2008-12-16T07:54:54Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Was it SNL that had the “Diamonds–she’ll pretty much HAVE to!” sketch? [No, that was Family Guy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ur2er-STls). ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/67 "2008-12-16T08:04:23Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Just looks like a stylized “Z” to me. 😃 > > Still, not as stupid as “Every Kiss Begins With Kay”. EVERY KISS down there BEGINS WITH KAY if the rock is big enough… ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/68 "2008-12-16T08:52:32Z")
Bleagh, diamond encrusted meathooks. How lovely. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/69 "2008-12-16T09:25:44Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Come to think of it, I’m glad this jewelry is out there. It serves as a useful warning to the rest of us–“Do not befriend this person. She will send you glurgey email and make you look at her Precious Moments figurines.” I prefer to think of it as a promise - “You too can exploit the gullibility of people who have more dollars than sense.” ---
**Author:** ![Arglefraster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/70 "2008-12-16T13:49:42Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > that new Thomas Kinkade housing development. Oh God. Please tell me you made this up. _checks Google_ [Dammit.](http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0EIN/is_2006_August_14/ai_n16620728) You just killed a piece of my soul. I hope your happy. :mad: 😃 As far as the jewelry goes, I thought it was a stupid design when I first saw the commercial, but I didn’t see the T&A, just a fugly necklace. Of course, now I can’t unsee it. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/71 "2008-12-16T13:55:03Z")
> [@Gangster\_Octopus](#): > > Well you can buy the [artwork](http://www.pcart.com/SeymourHealingHeartsOpenHeart100872Watercolor.htm). Damn, I thought for sure this was going to be a Jane Seymour Fathead. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/72 "2008-12-16T15:40:49Z")
> [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](#): > > > [@Mrs. Cake](#): > > > > Nothing says love like conjoined asses. > > Only if you’re a dog. Or Jennifer Connelly. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/73 "2008-12-16T15:47:28Z")
When you think about it, the two asses are at the correct distance to indicate missionary-style sex. So maybe the thing IS a universal symbol of love. And routine. ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/74 "2008-12-16T16:50:57Z")
In all fairness, the open design makes it look like it’d make for a good bottle opener. ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/75 "2008-12-16T17:02:36Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Or Jennifer Connelly. Huh? ---
**Author:** ![joemama24\_98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce7236/32.png) [@joemama24\_98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joemama24_98)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/76 "2008-12-16T17:17:30Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > When I first saw this necklace on _My Name is Earl_, I laughed my ass off. Then when I learned it was a real necklace, that they were really selling and not a novelty like Serenity by Jan Candles . . . What’s interesting is that she starred in the episode too - I thought the whole thing was pretty tonge-in-cheek on her part - made me wonder if she realizes the ridiculousness of it all. Let’s hope, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/77 "2008-12-16T17:18:23Z")
> [@Carl\_Corey](#): > > Huh? [Requiem for a Dream](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0180093/) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/78 "2008-12-16T17:56:32Z")
> [@Sigmagirl](#): > > When I first saw this necklace on _My Name is Earl_, I laughed my ass off. Then when I learned it was a real necklace, that they were really selling and not a novelty like Serenity by Jan Candles . . . That’s the funniest part about this, to me. In that episode of **Earl** , Joy is obsessing over getting this necklace. But Joy is just about the white-trashiest character ever to hit TV, so in the minds of viewers, anything she likes has to be a tacky piece of crap. So, in my mind, this necklace she wanted must be some low-rent Shop-At-Home Channel garbage. I’m betting I’m not alone in making that assumption. And you just know that Kay Jewelers paid some fine coin to be featured in the show, too. Bad idea, Kay. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/79 "2008-12-16T18:00:35Z")
> [@Arglefraster](#): > > [Dammit.](http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0EIN/is_2006_August_14/ai_n16620728) > > You just killed a piece of my soul. I hope your happy. :mad: 😃 “The Gates at Old Hawthorne”, they’re calling it. How could they possibly miss sticking that extraneous -e on the end of “Old”? ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2008, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278/80 "2008-12-16T18:15:24Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > [No, that was Family Guy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ur2er-STls). Ah, that makes more sense, since I haven’t watched SNL in a decade at least but **Family Guy** is a favorite… Brain farts suck!\* \*But nowhere near as much as that shitty necklace! :rimshot: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-rant-incoherently-against-jane-seymours-good-intentions/477278.md?page=5)