# In which I reveal Victoria's Secret **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 14, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374 "2007-11-14T15:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/1 "2007-11-14T15:40:40Z")
In a sign of the end-times surely being nigh, it has come to this: I’m ready to throw something at the TV every time this Victoria’s Secret commercial comes on. I don’t mean pretend kisses, I mean if I were still a smoker, I’d hurl a 5 pound brass ashtray at the screen. The offending piece (no comments, please) is an ad for bras. Normally, ads for bras are ok - they’ve got breasts in them. While this ad has a lovely young lady exhibiting the product for sale (which may even be bras), her lines, which are in limerick form, are so mind-numbingly moronic it makes me want to simultaneously shove a screwdriver into each ear 'till both meet in the middle, in some vain attempt to un-hear this god-awful drivel. Maybe I’m getting old, but the sheer stupidity of this “limerick” makes her look about as pretty as if Janet Reno had a love child with Clay Aiken and the chemicals neccessary to bring this encounter about had somehow deformed the resulting baby even beyond it’s cursed genes, after which the Red Sox’ starting lineup beat it with ugly sticks for a day, and then it grew up trying all it’s life to look like Imus. There once was an angel so fair Who’s bra was lighter than air But the reason you see and it’s no mystery her bra cups were made out of air! YOU CAN’T RHYME “AIR” WITH “AIR” ! Goddamnit! There was no-one in the entire VS organization, the ad agency, the film crew - anyone - who could have stopped this abomination? But now I know. I know what, exactly, Victoria’s _secret_ is… It’s a conspiracy to render all of the free world into so many golems, to do the evil bidding of our fashionista overlords. Paris, Britney, Tom, Jessica - they aren’t isolated incidents, merely celebutards we can just ignore and they’ll go away. No! They are the shock troops of the new and coming world order! The terrorists have already lost. Proof? you want proof? Clearly the above was no accident, as proven by this _other_ commercial from _the exact same company_ ! There was a young angel with wings Who could fly without wires or strings She put on her wireless bra said, “I’m going out now” No wires, no worries, just wings! Oh, the humanity! Not just “wings” with “wings”, but “bra” with “now”? Kill me now. Please. Or maybe I’m overreacting. They do have breasts in them. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/2 "2007-11-14T15:52:19Z")
Nothing, not even breasts, can justify such hellaceous mangling of the noble limerick. Victoria’s Secret, you suck! Your ads should be trod in the muck. The limerick should be A thing of beau-teee. Your rhyming and scansion? Oh, fuck. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/3 "2007-11-14T15:52:23Z")
I for one welcome our new Victoria’s Secret overlords. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/4 "2007-11-14T15:54:44Z")
The thread title made me think of retiring Congresswoman Barbara [“She’s a Slut”](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Cubin#Notable_Embarrassments) Cubin. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/5 "2007-11-14T15:59:58Z")
My reaction to the first limerick was, “Gee, I miss having nice cute boobs that could go around in an air bra instead of an 18-Hour girdlevest.” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/6 "2007-11-14T16:03:48Z")
[QUOTE=Isosleepy] They do have breasts in them. [/QUOTE] “My God. It’s full of breasts.” ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/7 "2007-11-14T16:05:07Z")
[QUOTE=Isosleepy] While this ad has a lovely young lady exhibiting the product for sale… [/QUOTE] You damn her with faint praise. She makes my pants go crazy. Oh, and the limerick bothers me, too, when I listen to it. Usually I’m too busy drooling. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/8 "2007-11-14T16:06:18Z")
Also, [without breasts, there is no paradise](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sin_Tetas_No_Hay_Para%C3%ADso). ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/9 "2007-11-14T16:19:43Z")
So Victoria’s Secret is Vogon Poetry? ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/10 "2007-11-14T16:21:05Z")
And yet…yet…“El Paso” and “hassle” are so much worse… ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/11 "2007-11-14T16:30:28Z")
[Woody Allen] “These things usually travel in pairs.”[/Woody Allen] ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/12 "2007-11-14T16:34:52Z")
Everyone knows all good limericks involve the word “Nantucket”. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/13 "2007-11-14T16:35:04Z")
They just want you to buy their bra So they put some young lass in a bra So you’ll stare at her bra While she sells you her bra And miss that she rhymed “bra” with “bra” ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/14 "2007-11-14T16:37:49Z")
[QUOTE=Giraffe] They just want you to buy their bra So they put some young lass in a bra So you’ll stare at her bra While she sells you her bra And miss that she rhymed “bra” with “bra” [/QUOTE] Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/15 "2007-11-14T16:40:20Z")
I can’t believe it’s taken this long. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/16 "2007-11-14T16:42:04Z")
I never noticed the messed up rhyme. I’m hetero female so I wasn’t distracted by her breasts, it was her accent that I couldn’t understand. But still, breasts man! ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/17 "2007-11-14T16:59:12Z")
[QUOTE=Isosleepy] YOU CAN’T RHYME “AIR” WITH “AIR” ! Goddamnit! There was no-one in the entire VS organization, the ad agency, the film crew - anyone - who could have stopped this abomination? [/QUOTE] Roomie? Is that you? My roommate and I hate this commercial with a passion. She hates it because of the air/air rhyme; I hate it because of the model’s accent. Why does she have to pretend she’s British? ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/18 "2007-11-14T17:00:01Z")
There is dialog during Victoria’s Secret commercials? I never noticed. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/19 "2007-11-14T17:00:53Z")
It is not a limerick. The first line of a limerick always includes a place name. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2007, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/20 "2007-11-14T17:07:57Z")
A girl with a nice set of tits Looks to have other nice bits Would be wonder and awe Should she just lose the bra And give in to us horny twits [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374.md?page=2)