# In which I reveal Victoria's Secret **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 14, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374 "2007-11-14T15:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/81 "2007-11-15T11:51:48Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] The foulminded crew had caught sight Of a bosom that struggled with might To release itself fast From the cup’s firm elast ??? ??? ?? ?? ?? 😃 Go ahead. Finish it. Cartooniverse [/QUOTE] “But this limerick, sadly, is…” Nah, I give up. Too difficult. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/82 "2007-11-15T13:04:12Z")
Here is the [second one](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByBVOGsbGbo&feature=related). Yes, the rhyme is just as bad as it scans. Her accent doesn’t make it any better. [QUOTE=Turek] You damn her with faint praise. She makes my pants go crazy. Oh, and the limerick bothers me, too, when I listen to it. Usually I’m too busy drooling. [/QUOTE] Perhaps you are a good bit younger than I (I am 32). I first saw (but did not hear) this commercial last night. My girlfriend said, “look honey, boobs!” at which I glanced up from the computer and observed, “What is she, like 16 at the most?” Just too damn young for me. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/83 "2007-11-15T14:21:21Z")
She and her cute accent could be limericking the phone book for all I care. Drool. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/84 "2007-11-15T18:56:43Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Angel] It is traditional for Limericks to take painful licenses, especially saving them for the end, though I would agree that same-word rhymes are simply lame whereas zingingly awful is preferred. A pretty young lady with wings Was hawking inflatable underthings Though her boobs were sublime Her excrable rhyme Showed her head had more air than her tit slings. [/QUOTE] Rhyme: Impeccable. Scansion: Embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/85 "2007-11-15T20:49:19Z")
There is nothing sexy about that woman. Sorry. My grandfather has bigger boobs than her. ---
**Author:** ![Velma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/85e7bf/32.png) [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/86 "2007-11-15T21:04:29Z")
I, for one, am waiting for a bra filled with helium. Get those puppies up in the air, I say. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/87 "2007-11-15T21:21:52Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] There is nothing sexy about that woman. Sorry. My grandfather has bigger boobs than her. [/QUOTE] Her sexyness has nothing to do with the size of her boobs. I’d go so far as to say that she’d be less sexy if they were much bigger. IMHO, of course. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/88 "2007-11-15T21:40:58Z")
The foulminded crew had caught sight Of a bosom that struggled with might To release itself fast From the cup’s firm elast ??? ??? ?? ?? ?? 😃 Go ahead. Finish it. Cartooniverse [/QUOTE] “…And be tugged aloft like a kite.” ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/89 "2007-11-15T22:18:31Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] There is nothing sexy about that woman. Sorry. My grandfather has bigger boobs than her. [/QUOTE] Maybe, but I’d take a slice of Ms Kerr over Gramps about 10[sup]10,000[/sup]:1 times. Sorry, Gramps. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/90 "2007-11-15T23:47:56Z")
[QUOTE=Velma] I, for one, am waiting for a bra filled with helium. Get those puppies up in the air, I say. [/QUOTE] Never mind the bra! Attention, cosmetic surgeons: Are you sure saline and silicon are your only options here? ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/91 "2007-11-15T23:57:58Z")
[QUOTE=The Scrivener] “…And be tugged aloft like a kite.” [/QUOTE] Eeeeeeexcellent !!! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/92 "2007-11-16T16:59:49Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Never mind the bra! Attention, cosmetic surgeons: Are you sure saline and silicon are your only options here? [/QUOTE] But after you suck on those tits, you sound like a frigging cartoon character, and not everyone wants to bone that. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2007, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/93 "2007-11-16T22:03:43Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Rhyme: Impeccable. Scansion: Embarrassing. [/quote] Hey, take that back – the rhyming was terrible, clearly corrupted by the forced scansion – “WINGS/UNderTHINGS/TIT slings”. I was rhyming a feminine with masculines. It’s an earsore! And anyhow, anyone who calls “tit sling” a spondee clearly underestimates the accentual power of tits. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/94 "2007-11-17T16:57:37Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] But after you suck on those tits, you sound like a frigging **cartoon character** , and not everyone wants to bone that. [/QUOTE] 😕😕😕😕😕😕😕 😉 ( bolding mine, of course ) ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/95 "2007-11-17T20:01:18Z")
So here’s my scheme… Open a clothing store (eventually a chain, ultimately world domination). Run ads that imply and suggest that the store offers clothing for men with really big cocks. (The crudity of the innuendo will vary, according to the degree of retardation, which varies with the severity of testosterone poisoning…demographic research will become more affordable as the massive piles of bucks flow in…) The beauty part is that I will stock the same old crap you could buy at K-Mart or Target, and the clothes will fit fine, no complaints. Just change the labels! But the customer will believe that the clothes fit fine because they were customized for the massively endowed! We can charge twice, three times as much just so a guy can be seen carrying one of our shopping bags! Sell 'em a pair of Dockers for a hundred bucks, and they walk out grining like the pig who missed the luau! “Bertie’s Secret”? A bit too obscure, perhaps. “Big Dick’s?” Too crude, but we’ll go there if we have to, doesn’t pay to be too subtle with guys like me. And most guys _are_ like me. Dishonest? Unethical? Hugh Betcha! But at last I will be rolling in Benjamins, and can afford hot sex with shallow, materialistic supermodels who don’t give a shit if I listen to them or not! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/96 "2007-11-17T20:08:22Z")
:D! > [@elucidator](#): > > (The crudity of the innuendo will vary, according to the degree of retardation, which varies with the severity of testosterone poisoning…demographic research will become more affordable as the massive piles of bucks flow in…) Et tu, Crudité? ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/97 "2007-11-17T21:44:25Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] So here’s my scheme… Open a clothing store (eventually a chain, ultimately world domination). Run ads that imply and suggest that the store offers clothing for men with really big cocks. (The crudity of the innuendo will vary, according to the degree of retardation, which varies with the severity of testosterone poisoning…demographic research will become more affordable as the massive piles of bucks flow in…) The beauty part is that I will stock the same old crap you could buy at K-Mart or Target, and the clothes will fit fine, no complaints. Just change the labels! But the customer will believe that the clothes fit fine because they were customized for the massively endowed! We can charge twice, three times as much just so a guy can be seen carrying one of our shopping bags! Sell 'em a pair of Dockers for a hundred bucks, and they walk out grining like the pig who missed the luau! “Bertie’s Secret”? A bit too obscure, perhaps. “Big Dick’s?” Too crude, but we’ll go there if we have to, doesn’t pay to be too subtle with guys like me. And most guys _are_ like me. Dishonest? Unethical? Hugh Betcha! But at last I will be rolling in Benjamins, and can afford hot sex with shallow, materialistic supermodels who don’t give a shit if I listen to them or not! [/QUOTE] There’s a fault in your system… VS’s ads are not for the well-endowed, but mostly for the medium to small-endowed, to give them something to show off what they have better. Their products are not really designed for the big. 😉 So you have to offer something for the small to medium sized man that can make his equipment look bigger. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/98 "2007-11-17T22:15:43Z")
I want air underpants. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/99 "2007-11-17T22:54:13Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] “Bertie’s Secret”? A bit too obscure, perhaps. “Big Dick’s?” Too crude, but we’ll go there if we have to, doesn’t pay to be too subtle with guys like me. And most guys _are_ like me. [/QUOTE] Johnson’s Emporium . . . The Bulge (counterpart to the Gap) . . . Big (Not Tall) Store . . . ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2007, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/100 "2007-11-17T22:58:35Z")
[QUOTE=KarlGrenze] So you have to offer something for the small to medium sized man that can make his equipment look bigger. 😃 [/QUOTE] The Balloon Works . . . The Codpiecery . . . [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374.md?page=6)