# In which I reveal Victoria's Secret **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 14, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374 "2007-11-14T15:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/101 "2007-11-18T00:51:04Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Angel] Hey, take that back – the rhyming was terrible, clearly corrupted by the forced scansion – “WINGS/UNderTHINGS/TIT slings”. I was rhyming a feminine with masculines. It’s an earsore! And anyhow, anyone who calls “tit sling” a spondee clearly underestimates the accentual power of tits. [/QUOTE] What? Waitaminute! I thought Titsling was a historical word for a traitor. I gotta go look this up. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Jean\_Louise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Miss\_Jean\_Louise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Jean_Louise)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/102 "2007-11-18T01:24:16Z")
I pride myself on the ability to withstand varying degrees of commercial insanity but I HATE this stupid ad. As previously mentioned, there are about a jillion words that rhyme with air. Why do people think this is okay? Why?? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/103 "2007-11-18T01:41:31Z")
I am misunderstood. No way do I mean to imply that Doper dudes would be customers, we are way too hip to fall for some crap like this, I mean to feed on the teeming herds. Doper _chiquitas_, on the other hand, are savvy enough to know that a gift from my store could erase a _multitude_ of sins. “What? You fucked his brother, shot his dog, and sold his pickup truck to buy drapes? Girlfriend, got you covered…” ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/104 "2007-11-18T02:14:13Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] I am misunderstood. No way do I mean to imply that Doper dudes would be customers, we are way too hip to fall for some crap like this, I mean to feed on the teeming herds." [/QUOTE] Dude, I totally got some rad boxer shorts from VS one time. Of course, I didn’t buy them. They were from a chick. But still. They’ve got dude stuff there. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/105 "2007-11-18T02:20:11Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] Dude, I totally got some rad boxer shorts from VS one time. Of course, I didn’t buy them. They were from a chick. But still. They’ve got dude stuff there. [/QUOTE] He’s talking about _his_ store. Where chicks pay off their debts by buying _us_ frilly things. Sort of lambasting the stupidity of this kind of ma . . . ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/106 "2007-11-18T07:14:01Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] The Balloon Works . . . The Codpiecery . . . [/QUOTE] Dangling Modifiers. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/107 "2007-11-18T11:45:31Z")
You know, I’m disappointed this thread has got to a third page without someone making a “Burma-Shave” reference… 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/108 "2007-11-18T16:53:44Z")
A hint of skin It’s not a sin You’re in like Flynn Don’t leer, just grin. Burma Shave 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/109 "2007-11-18T17:16:15Z")
Don’t be a slave To the need to shave. When it’s time for a shave, Use Burma Shave. Burma Shave. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/110 "2007-11-18T21:12:24Z")
To get the most From lace and frills You must denude Your sweet Brazils BURMA SHAVE! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2007, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/111 "2007-11-18T21:14:55Z")
. . . Well done, **BG**. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/112 "2007-11-19T08:57:14Z")
_Golf Clap_ Masterfully done, **BrainGlutton**. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/113 "2007-11-19T16:16:00Z")
Tits are flapping In the wind Cause air’s all that’s holding them Up and in Burma Shave ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/114 "2007-11-19T16:17:19Z")
> [@](#): > > Tits are flapping > > In the wind > > Cause air’s all that’s holding them > > Up and in > > Burma Shave So, if a Victoria’s Secret model is on a treadmill… ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/115 "2007-11-19T19:10:52Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] So, if a Victoria’s Secret model is on a treadmill… [/QUOTE] . . . we will all watch transfixed. (Put the camera **behind** her, guys!) ---
**Author:** ![Mayo\_Speaks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mayo\_Speaks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayo_Speaks)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/116 "2007-11-19T19:12:00Z")
There once was a gal with tits nice Her air bra did surely entice …But her poems sucked truly …The Pit grew unruly But 40 dollars, man, what a price! Victoria’s girls are quite dashing The commercials are well worth rehashing …Their bodies are toned …Their breasts silicone’d Though their wit is worth a few lashings. There was a young gal on the tele Who sure had quite a nice belly …She spoke of wires and wings …and other such things And I bought some more K-Y Jelly. There’s a vid on the YouTube Requiring the usage of lube …Where a girl reads a poem …(Or at least I’ve been told) I’m only here for the boob. I feel pretty dirty, now. At least I was able to limit myself to two references to sexual lubricants, one use of the word “tits,” and only one forced rhyme that doesn’t rhyme at all (poem/told). ---
**Author:** ![Mayo\_Speaks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mayo\_Speaks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mayo_Speaks)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/117 "2007-11-19T19:17:15Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] > [@CalMeacham](#): > > So, if a Victoria’s Secret model is on a treadmill… . . . we will all watch transfixed. (Put the camera **behind** her, guys!) [/QUOTE] I love a young lass on a treadmill (Especially if she hails from Brazil!) …Viewed from front or from rear …No complaints shall ye hear For I’ll watch and be happy, I will! ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/118 "2007-11-19T23:08:01Z")
The fair model’s thighs were a-flashing While engaged in some light treadmill dashing. Her buttocks enhanced Her mammarial dance Which resulted in many tongue-lashings. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2007, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/119 "2007-11-19T23:29:45Z")
Looking at lovely breasts is no time for poetry tests, So the words don’t ryhme and it’s less than sublime, MY GOD, WHAT A RACK! ---
**Author:** ![Figaro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea666f/32.png) [@Figaro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Figaro)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374/120 "2007-11-20T15:56:00Z")
This commercial, though agreed to be sucky, has had an effect that is ducky. We’re filling the pit with poems on tits And that, my friends, makes me feel lucky! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-reveal-victorias-secret/426374.md?page=7)