# In which I wish death on humanity. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 13, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247 "2011-04-13T17:37:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/21 "2011-04-13T19:15:35Z")
After that mugger’s done wasting you, can he saw my fucking left arm off? The damn thing hurts more than it’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/22 "2011-04-13T19:16:14Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > “Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.” > > H. L. Mencken _wipes a tear_ That’s beautiful! ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/23 "2011-04-13T19:29:43Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > _wipes a tear_ That’s beautiful! Just remember, the key word in that statement is ‘tempted’. I’m pretty sure that you’re not going to go on a killing spree, but just in case… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/24 "2011-04-13T19:37:42Z")
Are you [Falling Down](http://cdn.mymovies.ge/backdrops/143/4bd87090017a3c1c06000143/falling-down-original.jpg)? [_after Bill shoots the golf cart, triggering Frank’s heart attack_] **Bill Foster** : What’s wrong? **Frank** : My - heart… **Bill Foster** : Well, what can I do about it? **Frank** : Pills… get p-pills… **Bill Foster** : Where are your pills? [_Frank points towards the cart, which has just plunged into a water hazard_] **Bill Foster** : Bad news. Your little car’s gonna drown. And you’re gonna die, wearing that stupid hat. How does it feel? ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/25 "2011-04-13T20:09:32Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > The mood I’m in today…If I were on a coast to coast flight and 5 hijackers sttod up and seized control of the plane, I am the guy who would stroll up to the closest one, bitch slap his death threats back down his throat, boot his nuts up into his chest and use his box knife or whatever to carve my initials into the faces of his fellow thugs while I kick their asses in Chuck Norris fashion. Then, as I’m getting off the plane, the first reported to call me a hero would have his nose turned inside out. Fuckit. When I’d done with the hijackers I’d just crash the damned plane myownself. Into a Fudrucker’s if I could find one, or maybe a Wal\*Mart. An orphanage would be even cooler 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/26 "2011-04-13T20:42:45Z")
So messages about mankind rising to great things and accomplishing what was once thought impossible aren’t what you want today? Things like Captain Bly saving his loyal crew after the mutiny on the Bounty by performing a near miraculous feat of seamanship? Or perhaps the Berlin Airlift? Or something contemporary, like an [all-girls FIRST team called “Fe Maidens”](http://www.femaidens.org/index.php)? I’ll keep that in mind. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/27 "2011-04-13T20:48:09Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Captain Bly Egregious misspellings make me want to punch a nun. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/28 "2011-04-13T21:02:19Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Egregious misspellings make me want to punch a nun. At least it wasn’t Captain Gry. And **Mtgman** : Captain Bligh: Was not an altruist, he was saving his own skin Berlin Airlift: Just another cold-war stunt–entire nations continued to starve at the same time, but they weren’t cold-war pawns FeMaidens: sexists ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/29 "2011-04-13T22:01:04Z")
I have nothing useful to add, so here’s one koala pimp-slapping another: [I Can Has Cheezburger?](http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/02/08/funny-pictures-videos-koala-slap/) ---
**Author:** ![TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e4f/32.png) [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheWhoToTheWhatNow)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/30 "2011-04-13T22:28:49Z")
The Happy Thoughts forum is taken away and this thread appears. …Coincidence? :dubious: - TWTTWN ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/31 "2011-04-13T22:37:13Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Predatory, selfish, self-serving, lying, manipulative pieces of shit! All of em? No. Just enough so that you never know whom to believe—best to shut out all than to contribute to the unnatural demon spawn that slithers the surface of this world, always preying, seldom giving, never without hope of reward. If I could take back having kids, I would do it in an instant—their fate is to suffer or become part of the problem. Piss on you, humanity! Godspeed your nuclear annihilation or lethal viral plague! There is not enough good in you to counter your cumulative moral vacuum. > > Today if I were to be mugged I honestly would antagonize the thief to do his worst just to quit me of this despicable world. You know what you need? A little comic strip called “Love Is…” It’s about two naked eight-year-olds who are married! ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/32 "2011-04-13T22:45:50Z")
Hey, there’s [theme song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pNCR3xubgU) for you! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/33 "2011-04-13T22:50:53Z")
Take note, people. This is the kind of thing we should be seeing in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/34 "2011-04-14T00:08:07Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Take note, people. This is the kind of thing we should be seeing in the Pit. Uninspired, bland, nihilistic rants filled with cliches and abhorrent philosophy, all of which inspired by who-knows-what, but which I sincerely doubt was so bad that all humanity deserves to die in a fire, so I am just going to assume he ran out of cheetos? I’ve seen better written by twelve-year-old girls, and the part about damning his own children makes me want to punch a koala in the face. I’ll pass. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/35 "2011-04-14T00:13:28Z")
He ran out of CHEETOS?!? And they opened with a story about the snow on my local news? I am disappointed beyond words. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/36 "2011-04-14T00:28:40Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > You know what you need? A little comic strip called “Love Is…” It’s about two naked eight-year-olds who are married! [Here ya go](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5190/5617947126_7c234b5d4c.jpg), just what the doctor ordered. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/37 "2011-04-14T01:51:57Z")
I see somebodies wife left the toilet seat down yet again. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/38 "2011-04-14T01:56:25Z")
The H.L. Mencken quote a good start. Now you just need to put on your headphones to Tool’s _Aenima_, go for an anger-run and then relax with a sixer of beer and the \*25th Hour. \*If that doesn’t get your rage out of your system, nothing will. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/39 "2011-04-14T02:41:29Z")
I was going to suggest an Ayn Rand and [Laibach](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3SvjSu4R-8) on the rocks with a double shot of cheap vodka, garnished with a shake of black powder and a pretty paper umbrella. Maybe not. ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/40 "2011-04-14T02:50:43Z")
So… We’re allowed to say “fuck you” now, as long as it’s directed to no one poster in particular? That’s good to know. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247.md?page=3)