# In which I wish death on humanity. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 13, 2011, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247 "2011-04-13T17:37:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/41 "2011-04-14T03:13:35Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > I’m a proud charter member of my workplace’s “I Hate Everyone” club as well. Organizing meetings must be a drag. - Hey Gary, we’re going for a pint and… - FUCK OFF - Wow. Jeez, it’s just a club mee.. - FUCK YOU and fuck the stupid club, okay ? Now get the fuck out of my office you asshole ! (yes, I shamelessly stole that from Bill Hicks. Fuck him too, he’s dead.) ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/42 "2011-04-14T03:15:32Z")
Oooh! Oooh! Test case! Fuck me. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/43 "2011-04-14T03:55:16Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > Are you [Falling Down](http://cdn.mymovies.ge/backdrops/143/4bd87090017a3c1c06000143/falling-down-original.jpg)? > > [_after Bill shoots the golf cart, triggering Frank’s heart attack_] > **Bill Foster** : What’s wrong? > **Frank** : My - heart… > **Bill Foster** : Well, what can I do about it? > **Frank** : Pills… get p-pills… > **Bill Foster** : Where are your pills? > [_Frank points towards the cart, which has just plunged into a water hazard_] > **Bill Foster** : Bad news. Your little car’s gonna drown. And you’re gonna die, wearing that stupid hat. How does it feel? Wait, I never saw the movie, but reviews I read suggested that Michael Douglas’s character was never actually named, and was listed in the credits by the name on his vanity plate: DFENS. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/44 "2011-04-14T03:58:01Z")
> [@Darth\_Nader](#): > > Oooh! Oooh! Test case! > > Fuck me. I wouldn’t do that. You don’t know where you’ve been. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/45 "2011-04-14T03:59:13Z")
Sadly, this is true. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/46 "2011-04-14T12:49:05Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > so I am just going to assume he ran out of cheetos? Oh man. I ran out of Cheetos once. I was so disgusted with humanity that I punched a nun AND a koala. “That’s for Captain Gry!”, I said. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/47 "2011-04-14T14:33:35Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Organizing meetings must be a drag. > > - Hey Gary, we’re going for a pint and… > - FUCK OFF > - Wow. Jeez, it’s just a club mee.. > - FUCK YOU and fuck the stupid club, okay ? Now get the fuck out of my office you asshole ! > > (yes, I shamelessly stole that from Bill Hicks. Fuck him too, he’s dead.) Well, I should qualify that. We don’t hate each other, we’re all just united in our hatred of everyone outside our little enclave (this is local government so we tend to not see the townsfolk at their best) ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/48 "2011-04-14T14:34:50Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Oh man. I ran out of Cheetos once. I was so disgusted with humanity that I punched a nun AND a koala. “That’s for Captain Gry!”, I said. Lightweight. I punched a nun, a koala, a Vienam vet, fucked Darth Nader\* and crashed a hijacked airplane into a petting zoo! \*actually I think that part was just a hallucination caused by lack of orange cheesy goodness. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/49 "2011-04-14T14:47:11Z")
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, it might help. Next time I’ll bring some snacks. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/50 "2011-04-14T14:56:47Z")
You guys are areally taking the heat out of my rage. Darn you all to heck. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/51 "2011-04-14T15:55:20Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > You guys are areally taking the heat out of my rage. Darn you all to heck. Punch a bag of Cheetos. That might help. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@Michael\_of\_Lucan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_of_Lucan)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/52 "2011-04-15T12:39:23Z")
You need to read some poetry by Sir Walter A Raleigh. No not that Raleigh, a later one. \*I wish I loved the Human Race; I wish I loved its silly face; I wish I liked the way it walks; I wish I liked the way it talks; And when I’m introduced to one, I wish I thought “What Jolly Fun!” \* ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/53 "2011-04-15T20:37:13Z")
What if humanity is like HIV to earth? What if each little HIV fragment is a little person? /weed ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2011, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/54 "2011-04-15T23:35:39Z")
The funny thing about misanthropy is it usually happens when everybody else doesn’t like you, rather than the other way around. Your workplace ‘club’ reminds me of the goth kids episode of South Park. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/55 "2011-04-16T08:31:10Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Punch a bag of Cheetos. That might help. There are no Cheetos in Heck. Hell has them alright, but they are the Japanese kind without any satured fat. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2011, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247/56 "2011-04-16T18:44:18Z")
And made of squid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-i-wish-death-on-humanity/578247.md?page=2)