# In which jarbaby is scared and needs a cookie **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 8, 2001, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772 "2001-05-08T15:11:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/1 "2001-05-08T15:11:34Z")
So, after many [trials](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=61691) and tribulations and bloody, disfiguring fist fights with my HMO, I have finally received a referral to visit… **AN ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON** My goodness, it certainly is exciting, the prospect of having my spine fixed FOREVER AND EVER, allowing me to become a modern dancer on par with Christopher Walken, to once again enjoy the simple pleasures of standing up straight in the morning, or sleeping on my left side…but yet…I fear. I fear that little thing in the back of my head… _you could go under…and never wake up_ They told me that before my last surgery to have tonsils removed and it made me nauseous. I may go in to have my back fixed and come out dead! I may close my eyes and never see my boy or my dog or my mom again! And what about this nagging thought: _The surgeon could slip and cut your spinal cord in half_ and then I wake up in the recovery room not being able to move from the forehead down! I’m very afraid of these things…and I honestly want to know how often they happen. Will I be labelled a “hysterical patient” if I ask the surgeon some statistics? I’m thinking of saying “How many of these disc surgeries have you done? And how many COMPLICATIONS (with a raised eyebrow) did you encounter?” Will he send me away? Lie? I doubt that doctors publish reports on how many patients they’ve paralyzed or killed. I want my back fixed, but, and I think you can understand this…I also don’t want to be killed. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/2 "2001-05-08T15:20:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\* Will I be labelled a “hysterical patient” if I ask the surgeon some statistics? I’m thinking of saying “How many of these disc surgeries have you done? And how many COMPLICATIONS (with a raised eyebrow) did you encounter?” > > Will he send me away? Lie? I doubt that doctors publish reports on how many patients they’ve paralyzed or killed. > \*\* Joke 'em if they can’t take a fuck. You are proposing to become that rarest of creatures, an intelligent, educated consumer of healthcare services. There are too few such people in the US by about, oh, 240 million. Guys like Chuck Schumer whine about hospital mistakes, unreadable prescriptions and whatnot, but the fact is that a lot of these errors come about because the patient does not double check the product of the healthcare community (yes, a lot of mistakes would occur in any event – take your “my aunt got the wrong medicine and it wasn’t her fault” story to the Pit, please). It amazes me – people who read the fine print of their credit card agreements, bargain for the sunroof at the car dealership and double check the receipt at Micky D’s looking for a 5 cent discrepancy will willingly take whatever doctor and whatever course of treatment is thrown their way. Ask your questions. Get a second and third opinion. Make sure you get the best gas doctor ever, and the most accomplished surgeon in the area. And don’t let them give you any shit. There’s lots of doctors – the first time you get a bullshit answer to a straight question, walk right out without comment. Go! ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/3 "2001-05-08T15:26:55Z")
Here’s a cookie. Chocolate chunks. Chips are for wimps. You’ve got legitimate concerns, jarbabyj. You should ask your doctor about them. And if you’re not satisfied with the answer, if you think they’re lying, or condescending, or unable to answer to your satisfaction, get another opinion, or another doctor. You’d put the same kind of effort into buying a car. Is it safe? What are the crash statistics on this model? What sort of record does the company have? A good doctor will welcome the kind of questions you’re going to ask. I hope you can find the right care to make your back stop being a pain. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/4 "2001-05-08T15:28:54Z")
**jarbaby** , get at least 2 or 3 opinions like **manny** suggested. See if you can get in to see someone at Northwestern - email me if you’d like to talk to the guy I saw about my herniated disc and I’ll send you his name. Don’t just go with whoever you were referred to. You have every right to be demanding and to have all of your questions answered. If the doctor dismisses your concerns, it’s time to find another doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/5 "2001-05-08T15:37:43Z")
What **manhattan** said. Plus, you live in the United States, home of (arguably) the finest healthcare available. The system by which you can get said healthcare may be flawed, but once you get to see a doctor, odds are they’re going to be one of the best in the world. Second, you live in Chicago. You are not going to go to the local medical center in Dogpatch or Hooterville. You will go to a hospital in a city that attracts the best doctors for research and treatment. They come to Chicago, or any other major metropolis, because that is where the opportunity (and the money) is. All in all, you will be in very well trained, very experienced hands. That’s not a bad place to be. Can mistakes still happen? Sure, but you can also slip in the bathtub. Chances of anything going wrong are slim. This is going to be a **good** thing for you. Just be sure that the doctors don’t disable the **jarbaby insult generator** , the Teeming Millions would never forgive them. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/6 "2001-05-08T15:47:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tommy the Cat \* > This is going to be a **good** thing for you. Just be sure that the doctors don’t disable the **jarbaby insult generator** , the Teeming Millions would never forgive them. My god. I never thought of it. What if my personality is changed? What if I have back surgery and return as AmberSkye? Thanks for the advice. I think I will ask him, and if he tells me it’s a dumb question, I’ll leave. I’d rather be in pain than dead. Although, sometimes I wonder. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/7 "2001-05-08T15:58:06Z")
“I want my back fixed, but, and I think you can understand this…I also don’t want to be killed.” Picky, picky, picky. Just kidding, I’m sure everything will go fine, jar. ---
**Author:** ![Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Tommy\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tommy_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/8 "2001-05-08T15:59:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > **My god. I never thought of it. What if my personality is changed? What if I have back surgery and return as AmberSkye?** Lord help us all. I’ve seen what kind of response your thread about “The Brazilian” got. The sheer response load if you started a “Blowjob Quest” thread would crash the board. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/9 "2001-05-08T16:01:36Z")
This might help when you’re in the office with the surgeon - have a list of questions prepared beforehand (from the research you’ve done on your specific condition and procedure), and don’t let the surgeon glad-hand you out the door when _he_ thinks you’re done. In my experience, doctors need to be, let’s call it “encouraged”, to take more time with patients, but you can get good answers from them if you’re willing to push for it. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/10 "2001-05-08T16:32:20Z")
**jarbaby** , I can’t add to what everyone else has said so I’ll just echo it. Do your research, write down a list of questions, and don’t let the surgeon give you a Michigan handshake if you have more questions than he or she is willing to answer. Check out the surgeon you’ve been referred to. You should be able to get information about him or her through the hospital he’s affiliated with (check the hospital’s Web site). Ask your friends and family if they know anyone who’s been treated by this doctor. If they do, see if you can talk to the patient to get their $.02 on how they were treated. Above all, if you don’t like the first surgeon you see, don’t be afraid to tell your primary care doctor. Ask for a referral to see another orthopedic surgeon for a second opinion. {{{{{{{{supportive brotherly hugs}}}}}}}} \ I’ve been there and done this (don’t have to have surgery yet, thank God) so I can understand what you’re going through. Take care and good luck. I’ll send some good thoughts and a prayer your way. Yer pal, Zappo ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/11 "2001-05-08T17:43:07Z")
Just want to reiterate the “write down your questions” motif, and, of course, to remind you of your promise: > [@](#): > > Thanks Sua. when I feel better I’ll meet you on the tramp. > > Trampoline! boy, that’s a word you sure can’t shorten. I’ll start oiling the springs. 😃 Sua ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/12 "2001-05-08T17:44:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SuaSponte \* > I’ll start oiling the springs. 😃 > > Sua If you know what I mean… jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![heembo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f6c823/32.png) [@heembo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heembo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/13 "2001-05-08T18:28:15Z")
Alright, then. We’ll give you a _special_ cookie… OK boys, gather round… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sapphire\_Bullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@Sapphire\_Bullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapphire_Bullet)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/14 "2001-05-08T20:52:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Alright, then. We’ll give you a special cookie… :eek: I’d like to recommend that you go one step further with Zappo’s suggestion. Ask the doctor to speak with some of his previous patients. I would think a doctor worth his salt wouldn’t mind you checking up on him. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/15 "2001-05-08T21:15:51Z")
Well, look at it this way, this is the one surgery where it’s easy to show some backbone 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/16 "2001-05-08T22:22:20Z")
You can always call your state medical licensing board and ask if there have been any complaints filed against you specialist. Then you’ll know if he’s maimed anybody. Like **manhattan** said, Go! Oh, and here, have a basket of chocolate chip cookies. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/17 "2001-05-09T00:09:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sapphire Bullet \* > \*\*I’d like to recommend that you go one step further with Zappo’s suggestion. Ask the doctor to speak with some of his previous patients. I would think a doctor worth his salt wouldn’t mind you checking up on him. > > \*\* I doubt any doctor would send you to former patients. Confidentiality issues. The other suggestions, lots of questions, going to the board, etc., are great. Do you have any contacts in the local medical community that you do trust (a family doc, a nurse, etc.), ask their opinion on the best doctor for the job. ---
**Author:** ![Sapphire\_Bullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/96bed5/32.png) [@Sapphire\_Bullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapphire_Bullet)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/18 "2001-05-09T02:34:51Z")
That’s a good point. What I should have recommended was to ask the doctor if he thought any of his pateints would mind speaking with her. That way noone is identified that doesn’t want to be. I was able to talk to a couple of people about an old ob/gyn this way, but of course, YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/19 "2001-05-09T03:17:12Z")
What the hell does all this have to do with you wanting nookie? Huh? “Cookie?” \ Oh. Yeah, second opinions and talk to other patients and all that. Yeah. Nevermind that other stuff up there. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2001, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772/20 "2001-05-09T13:47:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Menocchio \* > The other suggestions, lots of questions, going to the board, etc., are great. Do you have any contacts in the local medical community that you do trust (a family doc, a nurse, etc.), ask their opinion on the best doctor for the job. yeah. My grandpa and aunt had the exact same surgery by a great doctor in the South suburbs. He’s not a part of my insurance plan and I can’t get a referral for him. And of course when I ask my grandpa and aunt if they’ve ever heard of MY doctor they say “he must be a hack” because they haven’t. As if they have a ‘back surgery discussion round table’ every Sunday night. jarbaby [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-jarbaby-is-scared-and-needs-a-cookie/64772.md?page=2)