# In Which Lissa Resents a Baby Shower Invitation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-lissa-resents-a-baby-shower-invitation/170512 "2003-04-23T03:39:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-lissa-resents-a-baby-shower-invitation/170512/21 "2003-04-23T23:46:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by butrscotch \* > \*\*My suggestion: Even if you can’t stand Frank, keep an occasional eye out on the GF and the baby. And if it looks like anything like the abuse my sister’s young charge went through is going on, contact child protective services. That’s what they’re there for. It might be the best gift you could give this child in the long run. \*\* I don’t really have to worry about the baby going without the necessities of life. “Frank’s” mother will see to it that the baby is at least fed and changed and safe from harm. With the last one, she did these tasks herself. Emotionally, however, the kid is going to have it pretty rough. “Frank” isn’t much interested in anyone but himself. (I don’t blame the drugs for this-- he was always that way, even as a child.) The girl, I think, has good intentions, but she’s flakey, irresponsible and naive. I honestly imagine most of the care of the baby will fall to “Frank’s” mother, because she’ll be out “doing her own thing,” and “Frank” will be laying, drunk or stoned, on the sofa. \*\* PunditLisa, \*\* we don’t have the same cousin, because “Frank” has never been married. (I’m relatively sure, because I certainly would have gotten a plea for a gift.) We just have similar circumstances in having worthless relatives. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-lissa-resents-a-baby-shower-invitation/170512/22 "2003-04-24T00:04:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*I see an announcement as just that. Then again, I don’t see an invitation as a demand for gifts either. And I always thought a gift was something freely given as a token of affection. > > Am I showing my age? \*\* No, you’re showing your class. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-lissa-resents-a-baby-shower-invitation/170512/23 "2003-04-24T01:08:16Z")
> [@](#): > > I had no idea (passing out graduation announcements) was seen as a smarmy gift-grubbing thing. Not necessarily, but given the context that Kathy hadn’t attended one wedding, one anniversary or retirement party, one shower, or one graduation party in over 20 years, it was indeed seen as a tacky request for a gift. She lives in town. I simply cannot accept that she had plans every single time a family function occurred. Sorry. She chose to exclude herself from our family. And the day she decides to disdain us with her presence she just happens to have graduation announcements for her daughter? That seems a little too self-serving to me. Face it, had she simply wanted to “keep us informed” she could have simply told us verbally. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-lissa-resents-a-baby-shower-invitation/170512/24 "2003-04-24T01:13:43Z")
An announcement isn’t necessarily a request for a gift. An appropriate response is a congratulations offered in kind – verbal for verbal, written for written, card for card. An invitation isn’t strictly speaking one either, but it’s customary to bring a gift to a wedding or shower if you attend. If you decline the invitation, a note of congratulations is all that should be expected, although a gift is nice if you feel so inclined. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-lissa-resents-a-baby-shower-invitation/170512/25 "2003-04-24T01:31:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rockle \* > \*\* > > Long story short, I actually attended my cousin’s shower, which was probably without question one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I also made a scene, which in retrospect was incredibly unfair (although, I still stand by the comments I made as absolutely true). \*\* Okay, I think I speak for all of us when I say- I must know! What kind of scene did you make? Was it full of righteous indignation?! I love witnessing stuff like that! 😉 FaerieBeth ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-lissa-resents-a-baby-shower-invitation/170512/26 "2003-04-24T02:23:17Z")
Wow, I think we can draw one conclusion from this, don’t name your kid Frank. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-lissa-resents-a-baby-shower-invitation/170512.md?page=1)