# In which my 3 year-old son asks "why does my pee-pee have balls?" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143 "2003-04-25T16:50:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/21 "2003-04-26T00:56:43Z")
I blanche when I see what my toddler son does to his genitals. I mean, he’s not obsessed or anything, but when they grab his attention he seriously starts kneading the whole package. Yow. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/22 "2003-04-26T01:45:56Z")
Oh yeah. I’ve got a three-year-old son, too. How he can do those things to his genitals without causing himself pain, I don’t know. Not too long ago, I was putting his pull-ups on him, and once I got them on, he said “Oops, just a minute, Mom…” then reached inside, and…well, he “adjusted his package.” Just like a grown-up guy, he just shifted things around, straightened his pull-ups, and went on about his business. He’s such a guy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/23 "2003-04-26T02:17:56Z")
I’m reminded of an old _Calvin and Hobbes_ strip: > [@](#): > > Calvin: Dad, how do people make babies? > > Dad: Most people just go to Sears, buy the kit, and follow the assembly instructions. > > Calvin: I came from Sears?? > > Dad: No, you were a Blue Light Special at K Mart. Almost as good, and a lot cheaper. I think Bill Watterson said about that one, “I imagine it must be a great temptation to misuse one’s parental authority for private jokes.” ---
**Author:** ![coyasicanbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bcef8e/32.png) [@coyasicanbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coyasicanbe)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/24 "2003-04-26T15:40:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by amarinth \* > \*\*U-Dub? > Are you still in Seattle? \*\* Yes, it was at the UW. Although 130 may have been the wrong room number. It was in the BIG room, since Human Sexuality was the most popular class on campus. No, I’m no longer in Seattle. I’ve been up here in the frozen north of Bellingham for about 10 years now. The “Ham” has Seattle beat on traffic, but for everything else, I miss the big city. ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/25 "2003-04-26T19:02:34Z")
It’s hard sometimes to find an answer that’s accurate but that a three-year old will understand. I’ve been left speechless a few times until I could come up with a 25 words or less answer to something like “Where do babies come from” or “Why do people die?” It really does worry me, though, to see Paidhi boy doing everything but tying a knot in his. Oh, I know he’s not hurting himself, but still, it looks like it _should_ be painful. He found a testicle the other day, standing in the middle of the dining room. I looked over and saw him mauling his scrotum with a very thoughtful look on his face. He saw me, and said, very seriously, “Ball.” “Yes,” I said. “It’s your testicle. Why don’t you leave it alone for a bit?” He didn’t, of course. ---
**Author:** ![dobbinaire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@dobbinaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dobbinaire)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/26 "2003-04-26T20:28:27Z")
And then there was the time my son was about 5, taking a bath, Daddy was at the toilet, and son asks “Why is yours bigger than mine?” Durn, no humorous clipboard response, just “Uh,… yours will grow.” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/27 "2003-04-27T02:49:45Z")
ROTFLMAO Makes me glad I don’t have boys (or girls either for that matter). IDBB ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/28 "2003-04-27T11:02:50Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by ivylass_ > How about, “You have them because you’re a boy.” But not all boys have balls, and not all who have balls are boys… :rolleyes: Even if boys with balls are the most common experience 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Washte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/29 "2003-04-27T11:07:44Z")
Children are so fun aren’t they? I had a friend with 2 young’uns, 1 girl and 1 boy. As you do, they were bathed together for convenience. When it came to potty training the lass, she refused to. They tried everything. Nothing worked and the girl was quite obstinate in co-operating. Finally, as a last straw, they took her to the doctor for a stern lecture and make sure everything was okay. One day during a bath the mom asked the lass straight out why she didn’t want to be a _big girl_. The little girl stood up, pointed to her brother and said, “No pee-pee no wee-wee!” Penis envy if ever it were 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/30 "2003-04-27T13:17:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bren\_Cameron \* > \*\* He found a testicle the other day, standing in the middle of the dining room. \*\* Was it time for dinner? What did you feed it? ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/31 "2003-04-27T14:06:14Z")
Dammit Coy, you made me wake my boys! (They’re asleep on the bed while I’m surfing the boards.) goddamn that’s funny! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/32 "2003-04-27T14:15:16Z")
Oh, and to the folks that are a)saying ‘Thank god I don’t have children’ or b)Why don’t you give a clinical Grey’s Anatomy discription OBVIOUSLY aren’t ready for kids. (Yet? Lord knows I was never having kids at 26…a lot can happen in 5 years) ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/33 "2003-04-27T14:46:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Oh, and to the folks that are a)saying ‘Thank god I don’t have children’ or b)Why don’t you give a clinical Grey’s Anatomy discription OBVIOUSLY aren’t ready for kids. I asked **Potter** if he thought we should have kids. He said, “No, but we can keep trying.” ---
**Author:** ![Orange\_Skinner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Orange\_Skinner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orange_Skinner)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/34 "2003-04-27T23:26:14Z")
And it’s only going to get worse, **coyasicanbe** : My parents gave my 9-year-old brother the full-fledged sex talk a couple months ago. They sit him down, cover the basics, correct his misconceptions, and then my father says, “Okay, Jimmy…do you have any questions?” He asks, “Soooo…can more than two people have sex at the same time?” Dead silence. After maybe, five minutes, my dad says, “Yes, I suppose so…but that’s…that’s not the way God intended it to be done.” Nice save, Dad. My brother considers. “How about animals,” my brother asks. “Could a guy have sex with, like, a monkey or something? What’s that called?” I chime in from the other room with, “That’s called ‘bestiality’ at the same time my dad says, “That’s called ‘disgusting.’” He did not elaborate. My mother told me to shut up. This next one is my personal favorite; it’s pretty clear to me that my brother was just trying to be funny, and in some weird way, ease the tension, but he said: “The fagina (as he called it); could you, oh, put a donut up there?” My mother makes a snorting noise. “What? _Why_? Why would you want to do that???” He considers. “It would be a good place to store it.” ---
**Author:** ![Govindha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5fc32e/32.png) [@Govindha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Govindha)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/35 "2003-04-28T01:54:23Z")
Well, I 'm not laughing out loud. It isn’t funny and i see no humor in anything you posted. I promise i’m not trying to be an ass… Tell him why. I know he is three, but try to explain in a reasonable manner without god talk. Testicles are important in reproduction( a bit above a three year olds head, yet you can try). Sex talk is important, start as soon as they ask… ---
**Author:** ![coyasicanbe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bcef8e/32.png) [@coyasicanbe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coyasicanbe)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/36 "2003-04-28T04:38:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Govindha \* > \*\*Well, I 'm not laughing out loud. It isn’t funny and i see no humor in anything you posted. I promise i’m not trying to be an ass… Tell him why. I know he is three, but try to explain in a reasonable manner without god talk. Testicles are important in reproduction( a bit above a three year olds head, yet you can try). Sex talk is important, start as soon as they ask… \*\* OK, OK, I see the light now. And after I’m done talking to my 3 year-old about his testicles and their function, I’ll be sure to mention how his mother and I have been lying about Santa Claus. Yep, there is no Santa, Jr, it’s just a holiday formed to help out the retail sector. The Easter Bunny? No, your Grandmother hid those eggs. Sorry to break it to you, but there’s no Bunny. Tooth Fairy. Nada. I put that toy under your pillow. I mean really, let’s be honest, would your mother and I let a stranger in the house? While we’re at it, let’s check out the evening news. I know we’ve been shielding you from the war in Iraq, but it’s time you learned. We’re done lying to you. Innocent people dying? Sure, it happens. Don’t worry son, that’s on the other side of the world. It won’t happen to you. Well, yes Lacy Peterson and her unborn son were killed here. Yes, just down in California, but it’s real and I won’t lie to you. Could it happen to you? Well Jr, we could all get run over by a bus tomorrow, let’s not kid about it. OK, I’m done. No, I’m not. Let me say one more thing. My son is 3 years old. I (and my wife) will teach him EXACTLY what we want him to know. No more and no less. He’ll have plenty of time to learn everything he wants to; for now, he’s going to enjoy being a kid. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/37 "2003-04-28T04:46:16Z")
> [@](#): > > Let me say one more thing. My son is 3 years old. I (and my wife) will teach him EXACTLY what we want him to know. No more and no less. He’ll have plenty of time to learn everything he wants to; for now, he’s going to enjoy being a kid. **ATTA BOY!!** I don’t see any reason for a 3 year old to know the physiology of reproduction. I dread giving my kid “the talk”, but it will be when he is ready and able to understand it, and 3 years old sure as hell isn’t the time. ---
**Author:** ![Daikona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@Daikona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daikona)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/38 "2003-04-28T07:38:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Unintentionally Blank \* > \*\*Oh, and to the folks that are saying ‘Thank god I don’t have children’ OBVIOUSLY aren’t ready for kids. \*\* Maybe that’s part of why they’re glad they don’t have them, hmm? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knighted_Vorpal_Sword)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/39 "2003-04-28T13:10:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Orange Skinner \* > \*\*“The fagina (as he called it); could you, oh, put a donut up there?” > > My mother makes a snorting noise. “What? _Why_? Why would you want to do that???” > > He considers. “It would be a good place to store it.” \*\* This has got to be nominated for one of the funniest posts this year. My cubicle mates are all looking at me very strangely right now. ---
**Author:** ![Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@Knighted\_Vorpal\_Sword](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knighted_Vorpal_Sword)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143/40 "2003-04-28T13:19:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Orange Skinner \* > \*\*“The fagina (as he called it); could you, oh, put a donut up there?” > > My mother makes a snorting noise. “What? _Why_? Why would you want to do that???” > > He considers. “It would be a good place to store it.” \*\* This has got to be nominated for one of the funniest posts this year. My cubicle mates are all looking at me very strangely right now. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-my-3-year-old-son-asks-why-does-my-pee-pee-have-balls/171143.md?page=3)