# In Which Previously Rocking Artists Do The Dreaded Piano Ballad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 23, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520 "2009-03-23T23:05:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/1 "2009-03-23T23:05:47Z")
I found out at the tender age of 13 that my idols would betray me and that there was no point in having them, anyway. That’s when **KISS** put out _Beth_. Some of you might remember it as a hokey but tuneful song. Me, I thought they copped out huge. I remember sputtering “where the F$%K is the guitar, you assholes!?!” The list goes on and on, unfortunately. Rockers perfectly capable of knowing better without fail will ultimately shed their cred and put out a wimpy piano\* ballad. Fortunately, I’ve managed to block many of these travesties out of my mind completely, as they aren’t worth the space. So, my fellow dopers, share with me the moment one of your favorite rock bands dropped one of those steamers and how you felt about it. - Don’t get me wrong; the piano is a beautiful and versatile instrument, and yes, it can be made to rock quite swimmingly, as well. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/2 "2009-03-24T00:15:28Z")
**Styx** ’s “Babe” was the end of the band’s legitimacy as rockers. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/3 "2009-03-24T00:46:14Z")
It wasn’t solely a piano ballad, but Guns ‘N’ Roses’s “November Rain” leapt to mind immediately. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/4 "2009-03-24T01:23:18Z")
Does it have to be a _piano_ ballad? Cause I’m here to tell you, when I first listened to Selling England by the Pound, that thing on the end of the first side had me saying “Please, somebody put Phil Collins back on the drums and leave him there!!” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/5 "2009-03-24T01:26:52Z")
Back in the days when Pete had hair: [Slit Skirts](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkOLi7iXR1k) ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/6 "2009-03-24T01:41:35Z")
Do acoustic guitar ballads go? ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/7 "2009-03-24T02:01:00Z")
Or songs that feature piano, but also feature other instruments? In that case, I am going to nominate _Don’t Know What You Got Till It’s Gone_ by Cinderella. And November Rain rocks pretty hard, might I add. ---
**Author:** ![Art\_Rock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/art_rock/32/525_2.png) [@Art\_Rock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Art_Rock)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/8 "2009-03-24T06:41:44Z")
> [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](#): > > Does it have to be a _piano_ ballad? Cause I’m here to tell you, when I first listened to Selling England by the Pound, that thing on the end of the first side had me saying “Please, somebody put Phil Collins back on the drums and leave him there!!” A smut stain on one of the most perfect albums of all time. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/9 "2009-03-24T07:14:32Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > I found out at the tender age of 13 that my idols would betray me and that there was no point in having them, anyway. You realize, don’t you, that Paul Stanley is Gay as an Easter Parade? I mean, come on! Its painfully obvious. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/10 "2009-03-24T09:40:30Z")
The fact that he won’t cop to it is what’s disappointing. And sure, **Ají de Gallina** and **Le Ministre de l’au-delà** , I didn’t mean to single out piano ballads so much as songs that are out of character, and not in a good way. Buzzkill ballads, as it were. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/11 "2009-03-24T09:55:14Z")
One of my friends likes to point out that the biggest hit of most hard-rock bands is their slow ballad. (I then always point out AC/DC.) ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/12 "2009-03-24T10:53:40Z")
Wait - I’m the fist to mention Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue? (And Paul Stanley’s gay? I have just never thought about it…) ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/13 "2009-03-24T10:56:17Z")
Yes, **Word Man**. You _are_ the fist. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/14 "2009-03-24T11:52:23Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > One of my friends likes to point out that the biggest hit of most hard-rock bands is their slow ballad. (I then always point out AC/DC.) Point in case : Nothing Else Matters. I still fondly remember a Metallica concert I went to, back when Nothing Else Matters was on every radio and TV station, 24/7. Right in front of the stage were these two or three rows of preppy teenage girls (well, teenagers in general, but my sexist mind’s eye remembers the girls most), all ready to woooohoooo and wave lighters around. You could hear giggles echoing to the rafters as the guys calmly came on stage. The collective look of utmost horror and shock in their eyes when 'tallica started their set with an angry Battery still warms my heart. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/15 "2009-03-24T11:59:53Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > Wait - I’m the fist to mention Home Sweet Home by Motley Crue? > > (And Paul Stanley’s gay? I have just never thought about it…) Yup, that’s what I’m talking about…completely out of character, and not in a good way… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/16 "2009-03-24T12:08:16Z")
**Ozzy Osbourne** : Changes (with his screechy daughter). You _know_ he must love her, to have agreed to do that. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/17 "2009-03-24T12:48:27Z")
> [@singular1](#): > > Yes, **Word Man**. You _are_ the fist. Why, thanks for acknowledging that - I felt it was important. My point in the phrasing was the HSH was so incredibly out of character AND hackneyed that it seems to epitomize the OP, IMHO. The plinky piano that sounds one step above “Chopsticks.” The caterwauling vocal, with just enough nasal qualities to wonder if it can be used as a duck call. You can hide inside the bombast of Looks That Kill and claim credibility, but HSH? WTF? But you understand that, I’m sure. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/18 "2009-03-24T13:00:58Z")
Billy Joel started out with the piano ballad about a piano balladeer called “The Piano Man,” but only got to be famous when he got to rocking. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/19 "2009-03-24T14:27:52Z")
Not really. “Piano Man” reached #4 on the adult contemporary chart and reach 25 on the pop singles chart. And his breakthrough hit “Just the Way You Are” (#1 AC, #3 pop singles) was also a ballad. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/20 "2009-03-24T14:40:08Z")
So you all are one note kind of folk or what? A band can’t have more than one mood or way to express itself? Ugh. IME, KISS never “rocked” at all. Of course, KISS came into prominence when I was already a teen (not a tween or teenybopper) so we never considered them to be a rock band in the slightest. They were for 11 year old boys. To have them create a soft ballad showed that they could at least do more than play with makeup, but I digress. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520.md?page=2)