# In Which Previously Rocking Artists Do The Dreaded Piano Ballad **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 23, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520 "2009-03-23T23:05:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/41 "2009-03-24T19:23:46Z")
How about **Skid Row’s 18 to Life**? His personality is too big for his own good, and starring on Broadway doesn’t help the metal cred, but Sebastian Bach’s got _pipes_. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/42 "2009-03-24T19:49:45Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > Back in the days when Pete had hair: [Slit Skirts](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkOLi7iXR1k) That’s one of the greatest Pete songs ever! I don’t mind a piano ballad, even one produced by the rockingest rockers of the world. It reveals another side of their personality…that’s all. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/43 "2009-03-24T19:52:32Z")
I was thinking about this very question in my lesson today, instead of thinking of Villa-Lobos. One of the big things about the Dreaded Piano Ballad is the skill level of the pianist. It is possible to play interesting rock guitar while really only knowing a few chords - witness the Sex Pistols. Dreaded Piano Ballads tend to be played by guitarists, bassists or drummers who only know three chords on the piano, and only in one position and one octave. Unlike guitar, one has nowhere to hide. Think of Nigel Tufnel playing ‘Lick My Love Pump’ - it’s one thing to look at your fingers while you play, it’s quite another to look at them like you’re afraid the keys are about to switch places on you… Listen closely to ‘Beth’ - you can hear the little grunting noise he makes every time he has to change chords. Whereas Ray Charles singing ‘Georgia on my Mind’ is a ballad and he is playing piano. But it is not, nor could it ever be, a Dreaded Piano Ballad because Ray Charles plays and sings as naturally as a duck swims. He could endow the Income Tax Act with soul. Same with Elton John - ‘Your Song’ is not to my taste, but it is well written, and well played. If Jerry Lee Lewis ever did a piano ballad, you can bet it would be a fantastic piano ballad, and not to be dreaded in any way. ‘Take a Pebble’ could have been a dreaded ballad, but it was saved by some really cool piano work (First time I ever heard the sostenuto pedal and strumming on a piano.) Sadly, ‘C’est la vie’ is a dreadful ballad no matter what it is played on. You could invent the coolest instrument ever, that sprays ‘cool’ pheremones on everyone in the audience and call it the ‘coolophone’ and you would still go down in history as the first person to look like a dork playing a dreaded coolophone ballad when you played ‘C’est la vie.’ ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/44 "2009-03-24T19:58:41Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > Those of us of a certain age remember the Rolling Stones doing “As Tears Go By” and “Ruby Tuesday”. And don’t forget “Angie,” in my opinion the ultimate Stones ballad, and the fact that it hit #1 on the Hot 100 only reinforces that point. The obligatory piano and acoustic guitar supporting terrible cliched lyrics. Mick and Keith have each variously claimed and denied credit for writing it. Can’t say as I blame them. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/45 "2009-03-24T21:17:45Z")
I can’t believe no one has mentioned the Main Cheesy Power Ballad of the 80’s- _Angel_ by Aerosmith. OK, it wasn’t piano-heavy, but as metal hair band ballads go, it was the mac-daddy. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/46 "2009-03-24T21:19:27Z")
> [@Eo\_Echo](#): > > And don’t forget “Angie,” in my opinion the ultimate Stones ballad, and the fact that it hit #1 on the Hot 100 only reinforces that point. The obligatory piano and acoustic guitar supporting terrible cliched lyrics. Mick and Keith have each variously claimed and denied credit for writing it. Can’t say as I blame them. I love that song, sorry. And \*\*Le Ministre \*\*- I think you hit the nail on the head. DPB’s are different. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/47 "2009-03-25T11:25:04Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Changes is a Black Sabbath tune – from Volume 4, ~1972. > > Doesn’t keep it from qualifying for the thread, it’s a lot older than the “screechy daughter.” (By that I assume you mean he and his current television-show daughter did a version.) I mean [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM7z4hn9oW0). I know that _technically_ it’s Kelly’s song with Ozzy contributing but still - urgh. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/48 "2009-03-25T15:33:42Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > I know we’re sounding like ballad = blech, but seriously, it’s not about a band showing their more sensitive side or doing something different. It’s about doing it in an egregously naked attempt at selling out and in the process alienating the fanbase that they earned through their more rocking efforts. No problem. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/49 "2009-03-25T19:28:10Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > “Sometimes cool guys have to sing like a wuss to get chicks.” > > ``` > -Butthead > > ``` This reminds of a funny story told by one of the members of Journey during one of those 'Behind the Music" specials. Journey, believe it or not, was originally a hard-rocking, progressive-rock-leaning all-instrumental band. Then their record label and their manager used a clause in their contract to force them to get a lead singer - specifically Steve Perry. The original band members were outraged when they heard Perry’s demo tapes. “This guy’s a crooner! We don’t want to play his wimpy piano ballads!” But alas, they were contractually obliged to accept him. And then, they noticed a significant change. Their early fanbase was made up largely of grungy, overweight, unwashed stoner guys. When Perry began fronting the band, all of a sudden their concerts were filled with legions of cute young girls who were gushing about how much they loved them. All of a sudden, playing piano ballads didn’t seem too bad. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/50 "2009-03-25T19:37:12Z")
I don’t remember if it actually had piano, but Alice Cooper’s “Only Women Bleed” certainly could win this thread anyway, right or wrong? ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/51 "2009-03-25T19:45:10Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > This reminds of a funny story told by one of the members of Journey during one of those 'Behind the Music" specials. Journey, believe it or not, was originally a hard-rocking, progressive-rock-leaning all-instrumental band. Then their record label and their manager used a clause in their contract to force them to get a lead singer - specifically Steve Perry. The original band members were outraged when they heard Perry’s demo tapes. “This guy’s a crooner! We don’t want to play his wimpy piano ballads!” But alas, they were contractually obliged to accept him. > > And then, they noticed a significant change. Their early fanbase was made up largely of grungy, overweight, unwashed stoner guys. When Perry began fronting the band, all of a sudden their concerts were filled with legions of cute young girls who were gushing about how much they loved them. > > All of a sudden, playing piano ballads didn’t seem too bad. 😃 Well yeah, Neal Schon and Greg Rolie were veterans of Santana, and Aynsley Dunbar had played with Zappa. They planned to do a lot of extended jamming, not wimpy ballads! ---
**Author:** ![DfrntBreign](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f6c823/32.png) [@DfrntBreign](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DfrntBreign)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/52 "2009-03-25T21:01:13Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > Well yeah, Neal Schon and Greg Rolie were veterans of Santana, and Aynsley Dunbar had played with Zappa. They planned to do a lot of extended jamming, not wimpy ballads! And they had a chance to get back to that, eventually. I highly recommend the CDs **Abraxas Pool** and Greg Rolie’s **Roots** (if you can find them), released in 1997 and 2001, respectively. For fans of early Santana, they are well worth the effort. I don’t remember any “Dreaded Piano Ballads”, but no promises. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/53 "2009-03-25T21:02:14Z")
> [@Caricci](#): > > I don’t remember if it actually had piano, but Alice Cooper’s “Only Women Bleed” certainly could win this thread anyway, right or wrong? Hmmm…that’s an interesting one. On one hand, it’s absolutely a piano ballad. However, it has a sort of creepy malevolent vibe to the story that kind of overrides the piano wimpiness. Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/54 "2009-03-25T21:13:20Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > This reminds of a funny story told by one of the members of Journey during one of those 'Behind the Music" specials. Journey, believe it or not, was originally a hard-rocking, progressive-rock-leaning all-instrumental band. Then their record label and their manager used a clause in their contract to force them to get a lead singer - specifically Steve Perry. The original band members were outraged when they heard Perry’s demo tapes. “This guy’s a crooner! We don’t want to play his wimpy piano ballads!” But alas, they were contractually obliged to accept him. > > And then, they noticed a significant change. Their early fanbase was made up largely of grungy, overweight, unwashed stoner guys. When Perry began fronting the band, all of a sudden their concerts were filled with legions of cute young girls who were gushing about how much they loved them. > > All of a sudden, playing piano ballads didn’t seem too bad. 😃 Then a few years later when Perry went off and did his solo project (c.f. _Oh Sherry_), they were pissed- “His solo wimpy piano ballads sound just like the wimpy piano ballads he did with us- he should have used our band for those!” ---
**Author:** ![Etherman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Etherman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etherman)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2009, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520/55 "2009-03-26T00:18:16Z")
While I hesitate to include a glam metal band in any discussion of bands that sold out for sales on only one song, if Home Sweet Home counts, Poison’s Every Rose Has Its Thorn has to count also. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-previously-rocking-artists-do-the-dreaded-piano-ballad/490520.md?page=2)