# In Which the Piper Cub Again Turns His Mind to Home Security: Little Green-Suited Men **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2017, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680 "2017-04-03T20:54:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/1 "2017-04-03T20:54:29Z")
Some of you may recall my account of the Cub’s efforts to protect Casa Piper a couple of years ago: [Piper Cub defends us from vampires by laying down a strategic garlic perimeter](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=758255). His thoughts have recently returned to issues of domestic security. On March 16 (note date) I came home and immediately noticed an aroma in the air when I came into the house. Familiar, not unpleasant; after a few moments, I placed it: shaving cream. My thoughts immediately turned to the Cub. He has a fascination with pressurised tins and tubes. Whipped cream is a favourite. Shaving cream had not previously attracted his attention, but it would be a natural progression. I went up the stairs to his room. The pleasant aloe scent grew stronger. I turned the corner at the half-landing, and there it was, spread out on several of the stairs: thick layers of shaving cream. There were some attractive little blobs of shaving cream on the walls, but clearly the stairs were the main area of attention. I managed to jump over the affected areas and went to the Cub’s room. The door was shut. I put my hand on the doorknob and the combination of coolness and stickiness immediately alerted me to another area that had received the shaving cream treatment. (Later, I found that several other doorknobs around the house had been similarly treated. The Cub is thorough.) The Cub was iPadding on his bed, surrounded by cats, rather like Dr Claw. “Cub”, I said, “I’ve noticed that there’s been a bit of shaving cream strewn about. Any idea why?” “Security, Dad,” he replied curtly, in a clear indication that this was a “need-to-know” operation and I was in the “no-need” category. “Well, we will need to get it tidied up,” I replied. That got his attention. He looked up at me with pleading eyes. “Not until tomorrow!” I decided to humour him, as he clearly had a deep-laid stratagem in operation. I asked Mrs Piper about it later on, and she just said, “He’s got some plan in his head. When I found all the shaving cream, he wouldn’t tell me why, but he really wanted me to leave it alone.” The next morning, the Cub and I tidied it up. It had dried up in the interval and he seemed a bit dissatisfied, but he was still in the “Chief Security Officer” mode, so I didn’t press him. That night, as I was reading to him at bedtime, I returned to the subject. “So Cub, the shaving cream?” He sighed. “It didn’t work the way I planned.” “And how was it to work?” I inquired, curious. “Well, there’s the leprechaun who puts money in my shoes on St Patrick’s Day.\* I really wanted to see what he looked like. So I thought that if I put down lots and lots of shaving cream on the stairs, it would be really sticky and trap the leprechaun when he came up the stairs. Even if it didn’t trap him, I’d be able to see his foot prints and figure out how big he was. But I put it on too early, and it got dry and hard, and he must have been able to sneak through. Dang it!” “Interesting plan,” I said. “But there’s always next year.” “Yessss,” he said, in a tone of voice that did not bode well for sneaky leprechauns next year. - _Aside: Custom in the Piper household: Leprechauns are cobblers, so on St. Patrick’s Day, the Cub finds coins in his shoes before he goes to school, brought by the leprechauns._ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2017, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/2 "2017-04-03T20:59:42Z")
Maybe next year it will be leprechaun-sized glue boards. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/3 "2017-04-04T02:04:36Z")
Ah yes, and perhaps there will be little shoes and green jackets left behind in the morning after they wiggled their way out. They’re sneaky. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/4 "2017-04-04T02:13:38Z")
Make very, very sure that any flour is in a secure and Cub-proof location next March… ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/5 "2017-04-04T02:15:57Z")
Hmmm. Maybe you could “help” him plan the trap next year or you’re going to end up with paint or mousetraps or tacks on the floor or who knows what. Cub sounds like a neat kid and you and Piper Mom are neat parents. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/6 "2017-04-04T04:51:26Z")
_Up the airy mountain, Down the rushy glen, We daren’t go a-hunting For fear of little men…_ Sounds to me like the Cub is just being prudent. I would, however, suggest that you keep him far away from the poetry of William Allingham. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/7 "2017-04-04T08:34:33Z")
I must commend your parenting skills. If I’d done that when I was a kid, my father would have barged into my room, belt in hand, and physically attacked me, while screaming obscenities. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/8 "2017-04-04T13:05:45Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > “Yessss,” he said, in a tone of voice that did not bode well for sneaky leprechauns next year. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life Dodging Barbasol on a St Pat’s Night. I don’t want to spend the rest of my days Keeping out of trouble like the Piper says I don’t want to spend my time in hell Ninja-jumping traps just to get to that cell …and I don’t ever want to play the part of a statistic on a Guinness shirt for tarts… There has to be an Invisible Sun, With heat for all (and for leprechaun) There has to be an Invisible Sun, To make St Pat’s Safe for Everyone… ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/9 "2017-04-04T13:22:16Z")
Bravo! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/10 "2017-04-04T13:48:34Z")
A word of advice to the Cub: if someone wants to give you money, do not interfere with the process. Thus do not trap the subject with shaving cream - get bigger shoes. Besides, milk and cookies are for Santa. This is a leprechaun - you need potatoes, green beer, and a surveillance drone. Follow him to the end of the rainbow, and the college fund is taken care of. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/11 "2017-04-04T14:59:39Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > A word of advice to the Cub: if someone wants to give you money, do not interfere with the process. Thus do not trap the subject with shaving cream - get bigger shoes. > > Besides, milk and cookies are for Santa. This is a leprechaun - you need potatoes, green beer, and a surveillance drone. Follow him to the end of the rainbow, and the college fund is taken care of. > > Regards, > Shodan …assuming colleges accept bowls of sweetened kids cereal with marshmallow surprises as legal tender …some only accept Strawberry Smiggles, just ask Mr. Top Hat Jones… ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2017, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/12 "2017-04-04T23:40:38Z")
I love the Piper Cub stories, how old is the high-winged one? Dennis ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2017, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/13 "2017-04-05T01:34:03Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > \*Up the airy mountain, > > Down the rushy glen, > > We daren’t go a-hunting > > For fear of little men…\* > > Sounds to me like the Cub is just being prudent. > > I would, however, suggest that you keep him far away from the poetry of William Allingham. I’ve loved that one ever since the Irish Rovers used to sing it. 🙂 But I don’t see the Cub tearing up thorn bushes, so we should be good. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2017, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/14 "2017-06-03T13:15:08Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > A word of advice to the Cub: if someone wants to give you money, do not interfere with the process. Thus do not trap the subject with shaving cream - get bigger shoes. > > Besides, milk and cookies are for Santa. This is a leprechaun - you need potatoes, green beer, and a surveillance drone. Follow him to the end of the rainbow, and the college fund is taken care of. > > Regards, > Shodan Somehow I missed this post the first time around. I like your college funding plans, **Shodan**! ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2017, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-the-piper-cub-again-turns-his-mind-to-home-security-little-green-suited-men/783680/15 "2017-06-03T13:24:25Z")
I was so hoping this was a story about a pre-war J3 and a hangar alarm.