# In Which Trep Goes To Hospital. A Lot. (Slight Return) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** beer\ **Created:** [November 7, 2024, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888 "2024-11-07T20:34:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/1 "2024-11-07T20:34:06Z")
**Spoiler:** I’m fine. Have a laff with me. God knows, we need it. **Useful Advice:** If you piss blood, see a doctor. **Background:** Nearly five years ago I posted [this thread](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot/846092) describing events leading up to surgery for bladder cancer on 13 December 2019 **Intro:** Five years cancer free is frequently taken as a “cure”. Ahem. Four years and 46 weeks later…… Read on. **Friday 18 October 2024** , in the evening: Pissed blood. Eh, here we go again. GP surgery closed for the weekend. **Monday 21 October:** Called the surgery. Pro Tip: ordinarily you might have to wait weeks for a routine appointment, but use the magic words “pissed blood” and you’ll be seen within the hour. I described my history of bladder cancer, pissed in a jar and was given a form for bloods. So I had a trip out to see the phlebs\* at my local hospital. First visit of….quite a few. **Thursday 5 October:** Nobody had called about the tests, so I rang the surgery. Everything normal and prostate cancer excluded. Eh? **Friday 6 October:** Having mulled it over, rang the surgery again and explained to the receptionist – let’s call her Suzie – that whilst I was _quite_ happy to see something I really wasn’t concerned about excluded, nothing seemed to be addressing the possibility of bladder cancer. _Hmm,_ says Suzie, _Let me deal with that…_ Now, lest you be thinking, “_Well, I’m not very impressed with the NHS – perhaps universal healthcare isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be_” – check this out: **Monday 28 October:** Got called re: a cystoscopy appointment (camera up the cock) - booked for 30 Oct. **Tuesday 29 October:** Got rung up about 12.30 whilst out on the bike, offered a CT scan _ **at 2.20 that afternoon** _ – but you have to fast. Hey, man – _what?_ I just did 40 miles, I’ve been metabolising fat for over 2 hours, I just can’t do that. Fail. **Wednesday 30 October:** Cystoscopy. Recurrence of bladder cancer confirmed. AND rung up with another CT scan appointment (1 Nov, accepted). AND given a date for phone pre-assessment consultation (31 Oct.) **Thursday 31 October:** Spent time creating a typed-out calendar of events, as I was losing track - what, where, when, how long to fast. Phone pre-assessment consultation. Given a date for surgery (7 Nov.) **Friday 1 Nov:** Given date for ECG (5 Nov). Afternoon: CT scan (4 hour fast). Dress code: no metal. Ever tried that? Eventually found an ancient pair of sweat pants with no zip pockets. I arrived at hospital dressed like a street drinker. Oh, and after the scan, drink huge amounts of water to clear the contrast agent. And we were out at a comedy show in the evening. Interesting combination of activities, that. **Monday 4 November:** Day off. It was so unusual I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself. **Tuesday 5 November:** ECG. All good, and blood pressure of 123/76 – not bad for a man in his sixties. **Wednesday 6 November:** Man, did the news bring me down. Look, through all this shit I had been upbeat and positive, but Wednesday was long and miserable. Bad frame of mind. Comedy in the evening (we go a lot) cheered me up a bit. And then the joyful realization that - as I was fasting from 7AM the following morning – actually, _midnight snacking was a really good idea_. Cheese on toast washed down with strong beer. I went to bed upbeat and positive again. **Thursday 7 November:** Eight days after diagnosis, surgery. Up at 6.40. Only water and no food after 7AM, not even water after 11AM. One consequence of this is that you naturally spend 10.30 to 11.00 drinking as much water as you possibly can and then – man in his sixties, remember – spend the first hour in hospital constantly pissing. If you’re in for bladder surgery, that can’t be a good look. Anyway, it’s over, I’m home, I’m fine. I’m wearing surgical stockings. But stone me, that was quick. It seems even odder in retrospect – did someone really ring me up on a bike and offer me a CT scan less than two hours hence? They surely did. Hope you enjoyed this weird little story. Hope it amused, or at least distracted, you. And please join me in hoping that, on or around 4 September 2029, all I pass is urine. j \* - “phlebs” = phlebotomists. Trade term. End note for future researchers: 6 Nov was the day after the US election ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/2 "2024-11-07T20:54:34Z")
Wow. I’ve never, ever pissed blood. Hope to continue that. > [@Treppenwitz](#): > > Dress code: no metal. I’ve got 14 piercings, 13 above the neck. An MRI is a pain in the ass, requiring a visit to the tattoo shop pre/post. Stay well. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/3 "2024-11-07T21:00:20Z")
Thanks for the good wishes. Yeah, if you get to choose between pissing blood and not pissing blood, I recommend the latter. I can’t even think of 13 places above the neck that you could pierce. No, I’m happy to be ignorant… 😉 j ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/4 "2024-11-07T21:04:13Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > I can’t even think of 13 places above the neck that you could pierce. Heh, nothing too crazy. A dozen left ear lobe and cartilage (more would be excessive), then one right ear tragus. All captive bead rings. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/5 "2024-11-07T21:04:27Z")
My best wishes for a total all-clear on or about September 4, 2029. I’m so glad it all went so smoothly – and sorry it was due to a recurrence. I will keep good thoughts! ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/6 "2024-11-07T21:06:23Z")
Thanks! I forgot to mention that the CT scan was clear. So much happening it was just crazy. j ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/7 "2024-11-07T21:07:38Z")
That’s wonderful! May it ever be so! ---
**Author:** ![Ellecram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellecram/32/18948_2.png) [@Ellecram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellecram)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/8 "2024-11-07T21:09:54Z")
Wishing you blood free streams and many years cancer free! ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/9 "2024-11-07T21:18:00Z")
Thanks! (And, fitting for a weird little story, I just noticed that this thread has been tagged “Beer”). j ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/10 "2024-11-07T21:18:42Z")
The auto-tagging system leaves a bit to be desired… I’ll fix it. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/11 "2024-11-07T21:19:03Z")
Glad it all went well, Trep. I’ll have my fingers crossed in 5 years for you. > [@kayaker](#): > > I’ve got 14 piercings, 13 above the neck. An MRI is a pain in the ass I had imagined the 14th piercing to be a bit more toward the front, but I commend your adventurous spirit. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/12 "2024-11-07T21:20:06Z")
No, I like it! 😉 j ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/13 "2024-11-07T21:20:28Z")
LOL, ok, I can put it back! ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/14 "2024-11-07T21:22:46Z")
Thanks! > [@TroutMan](#): > > I had imagined the 14th piercing to be a bit more toward the front Oh no, please don’t go there, not today… 😉 j ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/15 "2024-11-07T21:42:34Z")
Wishing you nothing but good news ahead for things in your Southern Hemisphere – clear skies, clear (or nearly clear) pee, and a bladder that neither bothers you nor needs to be bothered with. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/16 "2024-11-07T21:59:36Z")
Wow. I could relate stories of my kidney surgeries that went just that fast. But, I won’t 😄. Feel better. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/17 "2024-11-07T22:58:04Z")
Glad to hear it’s all done and hope you have a quick recovery! BTW, unless you’ve been doing some time traveling during this process, a couple of the dates in your story don’t seem to be correct. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2024, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/18 "2024-11-07T23:07:30Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > Hey, man – _what?_ I just did 40 miles I am impressed. By the rest of the story too: I send you my best whishes! ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2024, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/19 "2024-11-08T00:14:24Z")
Hoping for a quick recovery! The second worst thing in this story is the cystoscopy. Had that done. Worst hospital experience in my life. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2024, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888/20 "2024-11-08T00:47:28Z")
I was very ill prior to my gall bladder being removed (I’d endured extreme pain for 72 hours, hoping it would resolve spontaneously)… The surgery was complicated. In post-op fluids were going in IV at a rapid rate, but I wasn’t peeing in the bedside urinal. A nurse came in and told me that if I didn’t go in 15 minutes I would be recatheterized. I went. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-which-trep-goes-to-hospital-a-lot-slight-return/1009888.md?page=2)