# In your heterosexual marriage, who earns more money? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 18, 2018, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051 "2018-02-18T15:52:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/61 "2018-02-20T15:35:29Z")
My wife, to whom I’ve only been married a year and a half, makes far more than I do. I do quite well, but her skills are rare and in endless demand. Take math in school, kids. My wife did, and now she gets job offers on a weekly basis. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/62 "2018-02-20T17:06:41Z")
I earn more, but I’m older and have been out of school longer. She earns me than I did at her age, even accounting for inflation. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/63 "2018-02-20T17:25:30Z")
I made more than my wife when we both worked full-time, then when we had our son two years ago, she went part-time to care for him, which increased the gap (both because she’s working fewer hours, and because being part-time is a career stall). I wouldn’t mind being the one to go part-time, but it just didn’t make financial sense, and the longer it goes, the less financial sense it makes. ---
**Author:** ![Wednesday\_Evening](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b2d939/32.png) [@Wednesday\_Evening](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wednesday_Evening)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/64 "2018-02-20T19:14:00Z")
My husband and I earned about the same until we had kids. Then I quit work to take on the child-rearing duties. I went back to work when my youngest was in first grade, but 5 years later I still only work 25 hours a week, so between that and having switched careers I only make about 60% of what my husband makes. I don’t think my husband would care if I earned more. It all goes into the same pot anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/65 "2018-02-20T19:37:58Z")
We’ve traded off over the years. At this point we’ve each probably brought in as much as the other. Next year it all changes, though, when he takes early retirement to be a folk musician, so I expect to be making about eleventy million times more than him soon. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/66 "2018-02-20T19:52:14Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Some years she has, some years I have. > > -shrug- doesn’t seem to phase either of us. It’s a standing joke with us that one of us will pull out a wad of bills to pay for the pizza and the other one will sweetly say," ooooh, thank you for buying me dinner ! " > > She’s the bomb. > > Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk I could have written this about me; including the “She’s the bomb” line. 🙂 I’m ahead right now, by about $5k/year, but If my wife gets a job she’s interviewing for tomorrow she could shoot past me. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2018, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/67 "2018-02-21T18:58:55Z")
When I was in grad school and we were dating, my wife carried my ass financially. Since the day her water broke with our first child, she’s been a SAHM and I’ve been the sole earner- about 16.5 years. There was a period of time a few years ago when she was working part time, but just to keep herself busy. ---
**Author:** ![Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aji_de_gallina/32/260_2.png) [@Aji\_de\_Gallina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aji_de_Gallina)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2018, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/68 "2018-02-21T19:12:54Z")
Now that I got a new job and better pay, she only makes just under double of what I do. At some point it was more than triple. The first seven or eight years of our (20-year) marriage I made more. Once her private practice got some steam, she passed me and it never came back. The only advantage of my job is that it’s been steady and the only changes have been up. She might have (especially in the past) a “bad” month and a very good one. Also, it pays health insurance for all the family. ---
**Author:** ![MeanJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanjoe/32/5693_2.png) [@MeanJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanJoe)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2018, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/69 "2018-02-21T22:05:40Z")
My wife and I are both career professionals with bachelors degrees in different subjects. We also work in different fields. My base salary is about 50% higher than hers and with commission I make just under double her salary. If my wife ever decided to leave the company she works for and go into consulting in her field, she could easily make what I make or more. She chooses not to however due to that path would result in a high percentage of travel which is not appealing to her. And she is far smarter than I am and my superior in almost every other way. It is more a matter of career fields vs. merit that I make more than she does. ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/70 "2018-02-22T06:55:37Z")
She earns more by about 40% while working in the law department of a major manufacturer. I work in writing and publishing. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/71 "2018-02-22T07:18:38Z")
When we got married she said she’s not working anymore, so, yes I make more. lols on me. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/72 "2018-02-22T07:31:21Z")
**Suburban Plankton** makes more than me. If I had stayed in my career in the brokerage industry, instead of being a stay at home mom for a period of time, we would likely be tied. We were making about the same amount of money when I quit. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/73 "2018-02-22T11:49:04Z")
Technically my wife doesn’t bring in any outside income. She manages a business that I own and I pay her a salary from it. Meanwhile I also am employed in another position. At one time she owned a business with my sister-in-law. Made good money from it but still not more than I. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/74 "2018-02-22T14:35:12Z")
Me (male). I make 57% more than my wife. We both work full-time and are in vastly different professions. I also am a contractor and get no benefits, she does. I do think, for her work, she deserves more than she is making, but she doesn’t make less than average for her profession. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/75 "2018-02-22T15:05:30Z")
I earn 4% more than my wife. I started out earning her in October first by about 15% then she got a better job and caught up. Back before the oil crash I made about 2x her salary and had out-earned her by about 30% since we graduated together. Generally whoever earns more teases the other one and we treat that job as more important when it comes to who takes off work to deal with the kid or dogs but really there is no difference. Looking into the future I’m not sure who’s going to earn more she’s got a Ph.D. and just started a finance career and I’m regarded as an expert in a much smaller field that could dry up and go away at any time but if it sticks around I could earn silly money. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/76 "2018-02-22T16:23:46Z")
When we got married, 25 years ago, I was a market researcher at a Fortune 500 consumer-products company; my wife was a teacher at a small, church-run elementary school. At that time, my income was 3 or 4 times what she made – I had a solid salary, whereas she wasn’t making very much at all. Over the years, I had several promotions, and changed companies a few times (which nearly always featured a bump in pay), ultimately winding up in advertising; she stayed at the same school for many years, but her salary increases were very modest. When she finally left that school, 5 years ago, I was making about 5 times what she was making. She hasn’t worked since then, so I’m now making a _lot_ more than she does. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/77 "2018-02-22T17:27:25Z")
I didn’t post my situation in the OP because I wasn’t sure of a good way to do it without revealing more than I was comfortable. But a number of you chose to express the difference in terms of percentages, and I like that method so I’ll use it myself! I make 95% of what my husband makes; however, my base salary is more than him. He has things like mandatory overtime, on-call pay, and mandatory overtime that nudge his salary up to just above mine. Last year he was out of work for a while, though, and didn’t get all that overtime/shift differential/on-call pay while he was out. When we first got married three years ago he made more, because he hasn’t received any raises in the last few years and I’ve received three nice size ones (I’ve received more than three raises, but three that were well over the standard 2-4% level). In the poll I voted it’s about equal. ---
**Author:** ![carlb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carlb/32/5930_2.png) [@carlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlb)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/78 "2018-02-22T18:07:22Z")
My wife does, by a long shot. She’s always made more than me. We began a _little_ closer to parity; I as a mechanical engineer and she as an accountant. But, she is 4 years older than I _and_ has an advanced degree, so the odds were, right from the beginning, that she would always make more. When you add in the fact that she is just way smarter than I am _ **and** _ more type-A, hard-charging, ambitious, it pretty much guaranteed that she would outstrip my earning potential. Then when I dropped out of the workforce to be a house-husband, that pretty much sealed the deal. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Unabashed\_Fascist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/c2a13f/32.png) [@Unabashed\_Fascist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unabashed_Fascist)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/79 "2018-02-22T19:39:49Z")
I’m not married, but I have a live-in girlfriend who I’ve been dating for going-on twelve years. I work as a computer programmer. She’s currently a medical resident, and I make almost three times as much as she currently does. However, once she’s done, she’ll be making more than twice of what I make now, if the reported salary for her specialization is accurate. That said, she has over $200,000 in student loans to deal with, so maybe we’ll break even. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2018, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051/80 "2018-02-22T20:16:43Z")
> [@Phila444](#): > > When I was married, she did. Part of the reason we’re no longer married is she liked to throw that fact in my face whenever we had any kind of disagreement. When we were first married, she made almost twice as much as me. Now I make four or five times more. She never brought it up, even once, then, and I don’t now. As someone said above, it all goes into the same budget. At least I know she didn’t marry me for my money - I didn’t have any. Sometimes I wonder why she _did_ marry me - my looks? My sparkling personality? No, that’s probably not it. Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/in-your-heterosexual-marriage-who-earns-more-money/809051.md?page=5)