# Inability to detect flirtation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 18, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inability-to-detect-flirtation/12877 "2000-01-18T21:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Globe-trotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cab0a1/32.png) [@Globe-trotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Globe-trotter)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inability-to-detect-flirtation/12877/41 "2000-01-19T16:29:00Z")
What are you trying to say, Cold? c:confused 😃 * * * Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inability-to-detect-flirtation/12877/42 "2000-01-19T16:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > She showed me her wedding ring. _Cough cough!_ Irish, if I was her, I would’ve been very flattered! ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inability-to-detect-flirtation/12877/43 "2000-01-19T17:07:00Z")
I don’t think men can pick up a “subtle” vibe. Batting eyelashes - no. Hand down pants - yes. Unless the man’s interest is focused on you, wherein he is watching you for any kind of signal whatsoever, a flirtation coming from out of the blue may very well go right over his head. Here’s a true story related to that: my husband and I used to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown after work for dinner once a week. Not only did I notice we were just about the only heterosexual couple in the joint, the waiter fell all over my husband every time we went there. He described the daily specials, brought out the wine list, chit-chatted like a longtime friend, came by to ask how everything was. (I of course was regarded as a lowly fish-smelling creature and never a word or glance was thrown my way.) I didn’t say anything as I was just glad I wasn’t home flipping burgers. The last time we went, on the way home, the Married Man turned to me thoughtfully and said, “you know, there’s something about that restaurant that,well, kind of makes me uneasy, but I don’t know exactly what it is…” Well, DUH! I had to explain that the waiter had a big ol’ crush on him, and he was so shocked it was hilarious! He said, “I just thought he was being really, really friendly!” I wonder, if we had had a waitress coming on to him, if he would have picked up on it quicker? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inability-to-detect-flirtation/12877/44 "2000-01-19T17:12:00Z")
Salinqmind said: * * * I don’t think men can pick up a “subtle” vibe. * * * ## She wants me alright. Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inability-to-detect-flirtation/12877/45 "2000-01-19T17:59:00Z")
I wish I didn’t know… the last time I was flirted with (in person) was '97. I am just not very approachable. Thank the gods for the internet, I guess. * * * [http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com) Computers have let mankind make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2000, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inability-to-detect-flirtation/12877/46 "2000-01-20T06:43:00Z")
I too am one of those who heeds to be hit over the head with a large gold brick before noticing any “signals”. I’m so glad that it just wasn’t me who was having this problem. Now, we just gotta either A) teach flirters to be more obvious, or 2) learn to read signals of greater subtlety. This is the first thread I’ve initiated that actually took on a life of its own! Admittedly, it’s a strange, twisted kind of life, but, hey… 😉 * * * Rigardu, kaj vi ekvidos. ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2000, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inability-to-detect-flirtation/12877/47 "2000-01-19T22:18:00Z")
This is bad, I mean REALLY bad. Talk about blind. In class, a girl turns around and says “John, I wanna fuck you.” I was fairly surprised and said nothing, and then forgot about it (what the hell is wrong with me?). After class, she asked me what I was doing, and I said I had to go to class. It wasn’t for several DAYS that I realized I could have gotten laid! I felt like an idiot. Quite. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inability-to-detect-flirtation/12877.md?page=2)