# Inblourious Gasterds Mafia **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [September 8, 2009, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280 "2009-09-08T14:18:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![TexCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/texcat/32/9041_2.png) [@TexCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TexCat)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/461 "2009-09-17T21:39:28Z")
I’m suddenly not too thirsty anymore. Thanks anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/462 "2009-09-17T22:04:08Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > House specialty for you, **TexCat**. On the house. ::takes out a frosted mug, holds it below the bar:: Ahhh. ::sets mug full of yellow brown liquid with an umbrella in it on the bar:: I call it, **Freudian Slit** ’s Golden Shower. :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/463 "2009-09-17T22:34:23Z")
The umbrella doubles as a tampon. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/464 "2009-09-18T02:19:21Z")
I am in desperate enough need of a drink that if a “golden shower” is more than 40 proof I’ll probably drink it anyway. Fuck my job. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/465 "2009-09-18T02:25:17Z")
Well I wrung out like eighty alcohol pads if that helps. ---
**Author:** ![DiggitCamara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@DiggitCamara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiggitCamara)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/466 "2009-09-18T04:06:48Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well I wrung out like eighty alcohol pads if that helps. What do you call that drink, again? Shouldn’t it be named “Death in the City” instead? ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/467 "2009-09-18T05:23:55Z")
I need booze, but I think I’ll go still my own. Suddenly I can’t trust this place. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/468 "2009-09-18T13:18:18Z")
A refrigerated truck drives through town, loses control, and crashes into the crater where Darth Sensitive had formerly been hiding. Beer kegs spill out and roll all over town, looking for new owners. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/469 "2009-09-18T13:20:48Z")
Nooooo! My monopoly on alcohol! ---
**Author:** ![BillMC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@BillMC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BillMC)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/470 "2009-09-18T13:45:41Z")
Yay! Keg party 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/471 "2009-09-18T15:15:35Z")
And suddenly, many of the kegs disappear into Mahaloth’s house, never to be seen again. Perhaps he’ll share. Favorite beers, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/472 "2009-09-18T15:57:20Z")
::sulks:: And I was just about to unveil my newest drink. The Suppository. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/473 "2009-09-18T15:58:37Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > ::sulks:: And I was just about to unveil my newest drink. The Suppository. Sounds more like an appetizer, really. ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/474 "2009-09-18T17:31:46Z")
I’m so drunk in RL I’d consider drinking **FS** ’s golden showers. But now I don’t have to! Yay! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/475 "2009-09-18T17:34:23Z")
Goddamn it, I wish I was that drunk at 1:30 in the afternoon. I did have a little sip at lunch, but don’t tell anybody. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/476 "2009-09-18T18:56:58Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Goddamn it, I wish I was that drunk at 1:30 in the afternoon. > > I did have a little sip at lunch, but don’t tell anybody. I’m enjoying an actual beer right now. See. I have today off. I work 80 hours in 9 days (9 hours a day every Mon-Thurs, and 8 hours on alternate Fridays) which gives me every other Friday off. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/477 "2009-09-18T19:06:03Z")
It’s so unfair. The homeless patrons get their drank on in the bathroom and I have to deal with them stone cold sober. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/478 "2009-09-18T20:00:13Z")
The villagers awoke to a brand new day and to a surprise. Apparently sometime during the night, someone had placed an internal organ in each Villager’s bed. Freudian Slit awoke to find a bloodied heart next to her pillow. DiggitCamara found a pair of lungs next to his. Nanook found a stomach. Allwalker found a liver. Zeriel found a spleen. ZSofia found a gall bladder. (The nerve of it all!) Mahaloth found a regular bladder. (And was careful not to puncture it.) Cold Phoenix found some small intestines. BillMC found the colon. Each villager collected up the body part whatever fashion he or she found appropriate, and headed to the center of town where they found a lone disemboweled torso. There were no appendages or a head. As each showed the body part he had received, it was obvious where the parts had come from. Realizing that two of their number were missing, Gryff and TexCat, they figured the body no doubt had to belong to one of them, but it was mutilated beyond recognition. As they were pondering how they were going to determine who’s corpse this was, a UPS van drove into town and stopped in front of them. The driver got out. “Hope I’m not too late. I’ve had a lot of deliveries to do this morning. Apparently I’m supposed to deliver two packages to this one. Now if one of you could just sign here I’ll drop them off and be on my way.” The driver held out his electronic signature pad, but none of the villagers were particularly eager to sign. “C’mon. I got deadlines to meet. Only one of you need to sign. It can be anyone.” Freudian Slit strode forward “Well, I doubt we’re going to get to the bottom of this until we sign, so I’ll do it.” And with that, she signed her John Hancock on the e-pad, and the UPS guy brought out two large boxes and dumped them next to the Villagers. “Thanks. And remember 'What can Brown do for you!” he said as he sped off. The Villagers eyed the boxes wearily. After disagreeing about who was going to open them, DiggitCamara opened one and reeled back as the smell hit him. Inside were the arms and legs of what had to be the corpse in the square. “W-w-w-ell, if th-th-that was the arms and l-l-legs, I g-g-guess w-w-w-e know what’s in the other b-b-b-ox,” he said, understandably shaken up. “B-b-but I’m n-n-n-ot g-g-g-oing t-t-t-o open it.” “Well someone has to!” exclaimed AllWalker. “Any volunteers?” The crowd was silent. “Fine, I’ll do it then!” he strode forward and lifted the lid off the other box. Staring up at him was TexCat, her teeth bared and expression frozen in the most unnerving look of terror imaginable. The lid slipped from Allwalker’s hands and he stood there transfixed. The shock paralyzing him. Cold Phoenix pulled Allwalker out of the way and gently slapped his face trying to get him out of his stupor. It seemed to work, though Allwalker was still visibly shaken. “Card,” he said. “On box lid. Taped.” ZSofia walked up to the lid where Allwalker had dropped it, and making sure not to look inside the box, removed the card from the tape. As all assembled gathered around, she flipped it over. It read: **TexCat - Town Vanilla** “But where’s Gryff, then?” inquired Mahaloth. The villagers split up to look, and after a bit of time they heard a shout from the Bar. It was Nanook and Zeriel. The rest ran to the Bar, and Nanook pointed to a table with a lone body slumped forward. A single gunshot wound in the back of it’s head. Zeriel lifted the head, and sure enough, there was Gryff. Next to his corpse was a poker hand. The faceup cards were the 8 of Spades, the Ace of Clubs, the Ace of Spades, and the 8 of clubs. BillMc took hold of the hole card and turned it over. All that was on it was: **Gryff - Town Vigilante** Day 3 begins now and will end 3 P.M. Monday CDT. The current player list consists of: Alive: 3. Zsofia 5. Mahaloth 6. DiggitCamara 8. BillMC 9. Nanook of the North Shore 10. Zeriel 12. AllWalker 13. ColdPhoenix 15. Freudian Slit Dead: 2. Tom Scud - **Town Vanilla** - Lynched Day 1 1. peekercpa - **Town Vanilla** - Killed Night 1 2. Normal Phase - **Town Vanilla** - Killed Night 1 3. DarthSensitive- **Town Vanilla** - Lynched Day 2 4. TexCat - **Town Vanilla** - Killed Night 2 5. Gryff - **Town Vigilante** - Killed Night 2 ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/479 "2009-09-18T20:04:51Z")
Who wants spoilers? ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280/480 "2009-09-18T20:17:59Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > Who wants spoilers? I give them the spoiler info automatically in the death PM. I’m a giver like that. (Good Cop, ya know.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inblourious-gasterds-mafia/509280.md?page=25)