# Incest: How close is too close? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 29, 2007, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924 "2007-09-29T13:29:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2014, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/101 "2014-12-17T04:43:50Z")
They’ve become quite controversial in England, due to the high rates of inbreeding among South Asians there and subsequent birth defects. Here’s a story from a few years back. (Don’t be deceived by the title, this is not a Muslim thing, as plenty of Hindu Indians practice cousin marriage too). [http://www.bionews.org.uk/page\_13305.asp](http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_13305.asp) ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/102 "2014-12-17T18:39:44Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Siblings? Half-siblings? Stepsiblings? Adopted siblings? > > First, second, third cousins? Uncle/aunt and Niece/nephew? > > When do you lose the “EWWWWWWWWWWWWW” factor? For other people? I couldn’t care less. No ewww factor for me as long as I’m not involved (and since I didn’t have any close relative of my prefered gender and close to my age, I couldn’t be involved anyway, so I can’t know what I would have found repulsive). Frankly, given the kind of sexual practices existing out there, knowing that you have regular sex with a close relative isn’t going to disgust me. I would probably wonder if something is wrong with you if you have sex with your sibling, but no “ewww” factor. I’ll reserve it for your zoophiliac urolagnia or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2014, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/103 "2014-12-17T20:56:12Z")
Zombies don’t care if you are their sister, mom, dad, brother…all they want is braaaaaiiiiinnnnsss!!! ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2014, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/104 "2014-12-17T21:57:57Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > To me it depends on how - let’s say - familiar with each other you are. I had a lot more contact with my mother’s side of the family when I was growing up, so the idea of getting together with any of my cousins on her side gives me the creeps. OTOH, I don’t remember meeting any of the cousins on my father’s side until I was 30, so I don’t really feel “related” to any of them. Agreed. I think family ties are more important than actual blood relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2014, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/105 "2014-12-17T22:13:41Z")
Since it’s zombified anyway, I’ll throw another curve: I have a gay FB friend who’s in a relationship with his same sex first cousin. They barely knew each other until they were grown, but they’re quite happy together. They haven’t “come out” to their family as a couple- the relatives know they’re gay and that they live together but think it’s just as roommates. I’ll admit it’s none of my business and I would never be rude about it, but I’ll also admit I find this “ewww”, and I can’t for the life of me think why. Just cultural baggage, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/106 "2014-12-18T15:15:06Z")
I’ve always been a bit repulsed over first cousin relationships. Much of this probably comes from the fact that my only female first cousin is much younger than me and was [bonded to me as my little sis](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westermarck_effect). Cuddle \<3 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/107 "2014-12-18T18:14:01Z")
Interesting coincidence but I just learned yesterday that William T. Sherman, the civil war general, was married in what could be deemed an incestuous relationship. Sherman’s father died when Sherman was nine years old. He was taken in by a foster family, the Ewings, who had a five year old daughter Ellen. William and Ellen were raised as foster siblings in the same household but they married in 1850. Biologically it wasn’t incest. And the family didn’t object. But it’s a closer relationship than I think most of us would be comfortable with. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/108 "2014-12-18T18:21:39Z")
Given that I’ve been known to have sex with myself I would say that personally I have set the bar about as low as it will go. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/109 "2014-12-18T18:24:20Z")
Parent-child, grandparent-grandchild (including step- relationships in both cases) and sibling-sibling are the only things I’d consider taboo regardless of circumstances. After that, AFAIAC it really depends on the degree of familiality. I’ve got a stepsister who I didn’t meet until we were both in college, and we share no more genes than two random strangers, but we’ve now been more or less family for so long that in the unlikely event that she were to come on to me, it would feel totally icky. And I’ve got a first cousin who I used to see for a week or two a year, max, when we were growing up, but have only seen briefly in the past few decades. And if we were in some alternate universe where we were both unattached and she came on to me, I would be _so_ there. ETA: I should add that, in _this_ universe, I’d never dream of even hinting at that to her. She’s been married to her high school sweetheart for \>40 years, my wife and I have been together for \>25 years, and I wouldn’t want to rock either of those boats. ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/110 "2014-12-18T23:57:19Z")
> [@Horatio\_Hellpop](#): > > “Third cousin” barely counts as related; it means you have a common ancestor in a great, great grandparent. My great-great-grandfather lived and died in Ireland and was a contemporary of Lincoln’s. If I were in a room with a third cousin, I’d have absolutely no way of knowing it. > > Personally, I think anyone (same generation) farther away than a first cousin is hunky-dory, and most states don’t even prohibit marriages between first cousins. I have heard that in Pakistan (and much of the rest of the world), arranged marriages between first cousins are pretty much the norm. > > I believe it was Uncle Cecil who once said we’re all at least thirteenth cousins from one another. Zombieness noted. Nitpick Third cousins have great grand parents that were siblings. Great,great grandparents would be fourth cousins. parents are sibs-cousins grandparents are sibs- 2nd cousins G grandparents are sibs 3rd cousins G G grandparents are sibs 4th cousins etc ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/111 "2014-12-19T18:05:08Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] Biologically it wasn’t incest. And the family didn’t object. But it’s a closer relationship than I think most of us would be comfortable with. [/QUOTE] I don’t know if it’s state by state or not, but I know that in Alabama adoptive siblings are considered incest; there was actually a couple some years back (late 80s, I think) who wanted to marry but were denied a license. (It isn’t quite as icky as it sounds- the guy was adopted by his girlfriends parents when he was a teenager and already dating the girl, a situation kind of like David:Darlene on the sitcom _Roseanne_ except the adoption was formal and legal rather than unofficial.) Sherman’s marriage was very unhappy; I’ve wondered if that could explain part of it. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/112 "2014-12-19T18:09:59Z")
FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt are always thought of as a cousin marriage, and technically they were, but it was incredibly distant- 5th cousins once removed if that close. John and Abigail Adams were far more closely related, as were Thomas and Martha Jefferson (both couples were about 3rd cousins). It would be very easy to marry your 5th cousin and never know you were related, and it probably happens every day as we all probably have tens of thousands of more relatives that who are that or closer to us and they’re probably scattered all over the country if not the world. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2014, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/113 "2014-12-20T00:52:16Z")
IMO, if you can actually figure out where they are in relation to you on a family tree, without doing any research or genealogical studies or what not, yeah, they’re probably too close. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2014, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924/114 "2014-12-20T01:32:13Z")
> [@rsat3acr](#): > > Zombieness noted. Nitpick Third cousins have great grand parents that were siblings. Great,great grandparents would be fourth cousins. > parents are sibs-cousins > grandparents are sibs- 2nd cousins > G grandparents are sibs 3rd cousins > G G grandparents are sibs 4th cousins > etc **Horatio Hellpot** didn’t say anything (seven years ago) about siblings; he was talking about common ancestors. If your parents are the common ancestor, you’re siblings. Grandparents, first cousins. Great-Grandparents, second cousin. Great-great-grandparents, third cousins. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incest-how-close-is-too-close/420924.md?page=5)