# Incomprehensible Movie plots **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2001, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613 "2001-07-15T22:57:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![buddy1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@buddy1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddy1)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2001, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/1 "2001-07-15T22:57:11Z")
I always wonder how Hollywood manages to turn out such dreck-you really have to wonder how sane people approve some movie ideas. Case in point-I just saw a movie called “TAPS”-it was made maybe 15 years ago-had G.C. Scott, Timothy Hutton, and Sean Penn.The plot was absurd beyond belief-the kids in the local military academy decide to hold on to the school(its been sold to a condo developer), This is no ordinary military school-these kids have machine guns abd motars! Anyway, they hold off the army for a while, and a few of them get killed. How does something as unbelievable as this get made? Post your other absurd plots here! ---
**Author:** ![G.Nome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c89c15/32.png) [@G.Nome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Nome)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/2 "2001-07-15T23:33:23Z")
Well, there’s something I’ve wanted to clear up ever since I saw Gattaca. It’s not plot absurdity (not in total anyway) but some kind of anomaly or possibly something I didn’t understand. In one scene Ethan Hawke and his friend go swimming in what is apparently the sea rather than a lake. They swim and swim until one of them says “we’re almost there”. Where exactly are they swimming to? Where is “there”? Another continent? The other side of the sea? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/3 "2001-07-15T23:40:13Z")
**Red Dawn** Communists take over the US and a handful of high school kids with no military training fight back and become deadly guerilla warriors. Whatever. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/4 "2001-07-15T23:55:31Z")
As long as we’re speaking about kids fighting against bad guys, I have to mention **Toy Soldiers**. A group of terrorists takes over a private school, and a group of good looking young men (who plan their attack while sitting around in their underwear) manage to foil the bad guys’ evil plot. When I was 16 I loved that movie. Looking back, all it really had going for it were the aforementioned hot guys. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/5 "2001-07-16T00:02:05Z")
Wasn’t _Toy Soldiers_ the one about high-tech toys run amuck? Phil Hartman’s last film? ---
**Author:** ![Mobius74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Mobius74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mobius74)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/6 "2001-07-16T00:25:23Z")
How about _Speed_ (both of 'em), _Die Hard_ (all of 'em), and _Lethal Weapon_ (all of these, too)? I love watching this kind of stuff - lots and lots of GREAT action, but _SERIOUSLY_, folks, what are the _ODDS_??? About as much as _Demolition Man_ or _Judge Dredd_, I’d guess. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/7 "2001-07-16T00:27:22Z")
**Miller** - _Small Soldiers_ was the one about toys running amok. ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/8 "2001-07-16T01:38:07Z")
What, you want to go to the movies and see real life? Stay home and watch the History Channel. ---
**Author:** ![Mobius74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Mobius74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mobius74)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/9 "2001-07-16T01:48:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sewalk \* > \*\*What, you want to go to the movies and see real life? Stay home and watch the History Channel. \*\* Not at all a bad suggestion. The popcorn is MUCH cheaper. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/10 "2001-07-16T01:50:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\ ***Red Dawn** > > Communists take over the US and a handful of high school kids with no military training fight back and become deadly guerilla warriors. Whatever. :rolleyes: \*\* I agree, to a point. There’s no way that the invasion as portrayed could occur. But if you watch it on another level, on what it means to be a partisan in an occupied country, it works quite well. I watch this movie and I substitute Russian/Yugoslav/French/Norwegian, etc partisans during WWII. If you have noticed, in one scene, where they are listening to the radio, the messages broadcasted are the same as those you hear in The Longest Day. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/11 "2001-07-16T05:40:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by G. Nome \* > In one scene Ethan Hawke and his friend go swimming in what is apparently the sea rather than a lake. They swim and swim until one of them says “we’re almost there”. Where exactly are they swimming to? Where is “there”? Another continent? The other side of the sea? I had assumed they were swimming to a breakwall, or some other marker of distance which was, for some reason, special. But a breakwall was always in my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Chocobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Chocobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chocobo)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/12 "2001-07-16T06:55:44Z")
[Homer Simpson] You ever seen this movie Killer Clowns from Outer Space? It’s not quite a horror, not quite a comedy…but maaaan. … So to answer your question, I dont know. [/Homer Simpson] ---
**Author:** ![JustAskAnyone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JustAskAnyone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAskAnyone)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/13 "2001-07-16T11:17:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\ ***Red Dawn** > > Communists take over the US and a handful of high school kids with no military training fight back and become deadly guerilla warriors. Whatever. :rolleyes: \*\* Dude… **It could happen!** _Ominous synthesiser music in the background_\* ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/14 "2001-07-16T11:33:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by buddy1 \* > **I always wonder how Hollywood manages to turn out such dreck-you really have to wonder how sane people approve some movie ideas.** I saw _The Avengers_ movie recently (on television, for free – thank God). Holy crispy crap on a cracker, who approved _that_ script? I’ve seen better writing in a Russ Meyer film. No wonder the entire cast are embarrassed by it. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/15 "2001-07-16T11:39:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JustAskAnyone \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > > \*\ ***Red Dawn** > > > > Communists take over the US and a handful of high school kids with no military training fight back and become deadly guerilla warriors. Whatever. :rolleyes: \*\* > > Dude… > > **It could happen!** > > _Ominous synthesiser music in the background_ \*\* Yeah, yeah. To the writer’s credit, they had the help of that Powers Booth paratrooper guy, and (at the risk of posting a spoiler), it’s not as if they were all that successful. I mean, Rambo would have killed all the Russians in the entire country by the end of the film. ---
**Author:** ![G.Nome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c89c15/32.png) [@G.Nome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Nome)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/16 "2001-07-16T12:29:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by erislover \* > \*\* I had assumed they were swimming to a breakwall, or some other marker of distance which was, for some reason, special. But a breakwall was always in my mind. \*\* [/QUOTE] You could assume that, sure. But why should you have to? They never discussed their destination and no breakwalls ever crept into view. A more likely assumption is that the film is a few frames short of a full reel. ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/17 "2001-07-16T14:53:10Z")
I’ve got one word for you… [Frankenhooker](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0099611) ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/18 "2001-07-16T15:09:51Z")
Here’s where I get flamed to a hideous, crisp-ed corpse. But my enjoyment of the movie Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was severely hampered by the fact that: WE WERE NEVER TOLD WHY THESE PEOPLE CAN FLY. Why? why can they fly? Part of their training? tell us that. They’re mythical beings? tell us that. I mean, I loved X-Men, partially because it was somehow justified that these people were mutants born with these abilities. Given that one fact, I’m able to suspend my disbelief for the rest of the film. in CTHD, there was no reason for flight, and no justification for its existence. feh. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Jet\_Jaguar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jet_jaguar/32/3562_2.png) [@Jet\_Jaguar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jet_Jaguar)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/19 "2001-07-16T15:27:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > \*\* > (at the risk of posting a spoiler) \*\* _Red Dawn_ came out when? '84? '85? Isn’t there a statute of limitations on spoiler warnings? I figure once a movie has been on cable for awhile, it’s fair game for free discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/20 "2001-07-16T15:41:14Z")
SPAWN I don’t know which brain trust was responsible for this piece of tripe, but apparently they found it completely acceptable to take the dialoge DIRECTLY from the comic book, making sure to include every cliche known to man When one guy put his hand on Spawn’s shoulder and said, “you have much to learn my friend” I groaned loud enough for my friends who draged my to this so-called film, to hear and then spent the rest of the movie with my head on my knees. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613.md?page=2)