# Incomprehensible Movie plots **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2001, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613 "2001-07-15T22:57:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/21 "2001-07-16T17:35:34Z")
I saw **Legally Blonde** this weekend (why I went to see it is a long story). Man, even **Jurassic Park** is more realistic than that movie. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/22 "2001-07-16T18:00:06Z")
**Red Dawn** – my favorite comment on this movie was about how, after the scene where the guerrilla teens make a raid on a hunting supply store, they’re shown blowing up tanks with mines. What was _in_ those stores, anyway? To me, the problem with RD was that it had a few scenes that it just HAD to get on-screen, and damn the logic or the quality of the storytelling. Did anyone besides me have the feeling that they ended this movie where they did because they just got tired of it? The end just …Comes!It’s hard to buy the justification at the end. I get the feeling the director just fell in love with the idea of a Soviet invasion, re-education camps, guerrillas, traitors, and the chance to actually SHOW a commie prying a gun from cold, dead fingers. Who cares if there was a plot or character development? **Legally Blonde** – Look in yesterday’s Boston GLOBE – apparently one of the authors of the book on which this was based (yes, apparently there was one) was a student at Harvard, and is still remembered with some hate. I think this movie is her revenge, and she identifies with the Reese Witherspoon character. **General Comments** – Come on, a thread title like this and THESE are the best examples you can come up with? If you’re looking for misinformed legal reasoning look at **Double Jeopardy**. If you’re looking for gratuitous artsiness look at **The Cell**. Heck, look at the fodder for MST3K if you want poor movie choices. I’m still looking for a decent science fiction movie, and all I get are movies based on video games, an idea I’m convinced will _never_ work. But they keep doing it because they want to tap into the huge market of video game fans. ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/23 "2001-07-16T18:02:22Z")
From Dusk Til Dawn. Okay, so we’ve got our garden variety scene – bad guys hold up store, bad guys take hostage innocent people, bad guys force them to take them somewhere. Yeah, it’s been done, but at least everything makes sense. But then, innocent people arrive at bad guys’ destination, and, just out of the blue, EVERYONE TURNS INTO VAMPIRES! WTF!? We’re given absolutely no lead in into it, nor are we given an explanation later on. Yet, despite all that, why do I find myself watching this movie whenever it’s on? Ugh… ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/24 "2001-07-16T18:04:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vandal \* > > But then, innocent people arrive at bad guys’ destination, and, just out of the blue, EVERYONE TURNS INTO VAMPIRES! WTF!? We’re given absolutely no lead in into it, nor are we given an explanation later on. You should see the video Rammstein made in tribute to this movie where inncoent people arrive and everyone turns into A German Metal Industrial Band. Woah. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/25 "2001-07-16T19:47:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > \*\*Legally Blonde-- Look in yesterday’s Boston GLOBE – apparently one of the authors of the book on which this was based (yes, apparently there was one) was a student at Harvard, and is still remembered with some hate. I think this movie is her revenge, and she identifies with the Reese Witherspoon character. \*\* Yeah, I caught that it was based on a book from the opening credits. I leaned over to my friend and hissed, “THIS was made from a BOOK?” ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/26 "2001-07-16T19:50:04Z")
**Eye of the Beholder** made no sense to me whatsoever. A guy chases a woman all over the country, yet it is never revealed WHY. Even Ashley Judd’s nudity couldn’t make me enjoy this movie. ---
**Author:** ![wevets](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9a140/32.png) [@wevets](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wevets)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/27 "2001-07-16T20:48:58Z")
I’m with ya on Spawn. One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Yet I still sat through the whole thing. I can’t help but wonder _why_! Anyone see Final Fantasy? I don’t want to spoil it, but the ending was pretty incomprehensible. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/28 "2001-07-17T00:05:25Z")
I did not even comprehend \*\*Joe vs the Volcano \*\* Maybe it was due to the fact that my attention kept on drifting. There have been a couple corkers that have made me wonder what monkey on crack is writing and producing these scripts? Hudson Hawk January Man Just about any Mickey Rourke Movie has ever been in. ( except Diner) Most Kim Basinger Flicks Richard Gere has had a few horrid flicks that I’ve erased from my memory. What was the abysmal Tom Cruise early film where he plays Puck or and Elf? What in the heck was that? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/29 "2001-07-17T03:23:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\* > What was the abysmal Tom Cruise early film where he plays Puck or and Elf? What in the heck was that? > \*\* That was Legend, and SCREW YOU for not likeing it. (it had Tim Curry as the devil, how could it be bad?) ---
**Author:** ![Orbifold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orbifold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orbifold)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/30 "2001-07-17T03:46:17Z")
Well if you want absurd plots, you can’t go wrong with Tomb Raider. Of course, it’s pretty obvious why that script got approved in spite of the plot. How about I Know What You Did Last Summer? Four teenagers who are so incredibly responsible that they have a designated driver for their private post-graduation beach party suddenly dump a body in the lake to cover up a hit-and-run? ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/31 "2001-07-17T04:27:28Z")
Ugh, _I Know What You Did Last Summer_ was so bad. A bunch of kids being chased by a bad guy that has the inexplicable ability to simply show up wherever they are going, but who doesn’t bother with any sort of real weapons. Not so much incomprehensible as impossible and stupid alternating throughout. My nomination is _Entrapment_. The “surprise” ending seems to have come as a surprise even to the writers, as it no longer makes sense why anyone did what they did. ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/32 "2001-07-17T04:43:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*I did not even comprehend \*\*Joe vs the Volcano \*\* > > Maybe it was due to the fact that my attention kept on drifting. > \*\* [HIJACK] There was a stage version of Joe vs the Volcano at my school recently. I mean, really!? Didn’t see it though, so maybe it was good. I heard it wasn’t. [/HIJACK] ---
**Author:** ![Nuji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nuji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nuji)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/33 "2001-07-17T05:54:17Z")
Back in the day I was a projectionist/manager at a movie theatre. Every Thursday night I had to get our films ready to go, and this meant watching them for “quality assurance” such as, no bad splices, no scratches etc, etc. I worked at a smaller theatre (only screens) so, needless to say, I saw a lot of crap films. My Boyfriend’s Back springs to mind, dead boy comes back to haunt girl. Exit to Eden, come on, Dan Akroyd’s and Rosie O’donnel’s characters aren’t even in the book! g-hod how awful! But the worst as far as plot had to go to: Suburban Commando, where an alien warrior type guy (played by Hulk Hogan) tries to fit into suburban life. puh-leaze. Also anything recently starring Arnold Schwarzenegger is pretty awful too. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2001, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/34 "2001-07-17T06:11:23Z")
As an aside, I dare anyone to name an actually good Arnold film since T2. I can’t think of one. Talk about coasting. ---
**Author:** ![Mobius74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@Mobius74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mobius74)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/35 "2001-07-18T02:13:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dave Swaney \* > \*\*As an aside, I dare anyone to name an actually good Arnold film since T2. I can’t think of one. Talk about coasting. \*\* I thought _True Lies_ was okay for an “Arnold film” (but maybe that was because of the Jamie Lee Curtis dance scene and the fact that Marines just _love_ the AV-8B Harrier??) ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/36 "2001-07-18T02:53:28Z")
[Stalker](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0079944) made no sense whatever. Nor did [Solaris](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0069293). Maybe I should watch more Hollywood movies. Mind you [Steven Sodeburgh](http://www.k26.com/solaris/The_Films/the_films.html) is supposed to doing a remake :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/37 "2001-07-18T03:20:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Here’s where I get flamed to a hideous, crisp-ed corpse. > > But my enjoyment of the movie Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon was severely hampered by the fact that: > > WE WERE NEVER TOLD WHY THESE PEOPLE CAN FLY. > > Why? why can they fly? Part of their training? tell us that. They’re mythical beings? tell us that. I’ve always looked at it like this: The heroes in American action films are immune to bullets. They can walk unscathed through a total hail of fully automatic fire. They can outrun explosions down narrow ducts and hallways. They can take brutal physical beatings for five, ten, twenty minutes at a time with no broken bones, no real bruises, and nothing beyond grimaces. They can do all these things, except for the odd moments where suddenly they apparently forget that they can. (Why are they worried that a bad guy is pointing a gun at the plucky heroine? They never hit anything anyway. And why is he suddenly in such pain now as she tends his wounds? He can take twenty kicks to the head without flinching, yet gently sponging a papercut causes a full-body flinch?) Their abilities are never explained. Similarly, in wire-fu films, kung fu people can fly and in general move without physics–except for the odd moments where they apparently forget that they can. (Why in the world are they suddenly worried about falling into the fire below? There’s a wall right there to run vertically up.) In exactly the same manner, these abilities are never explained. Not really incomprehensible, but the movie that comes to mind is “The Spanish Prisoner.” I never understood why the con games being run were so very complex–the main character was _taken_, very thoroughly, early on. I guess they were just showing off. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/38 "2001-07-18T04:03:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by G. Nome \* > In one scene Ethan Hawke and his friend go swimming in what is apparently the sea rather than a lake. They swim and swim until one of them says “we’re almost there”. Where exactly are they swimming to? Where is “there”? Another continent? The other side of the sea? That was his brother, the person he’s in competition with the entire movie. I believe they were swimming to a patch of seaweed, but I could very well be mistaken. ---
**Author:** ![domina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/96bed5/32.png) [@domina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/domina)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/39 "2001-07-18T05:14:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin \* > \*\*[Stalker](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0079944) made no sense whatever. Nor did [Solaris](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0069293). Maybe I should watch more Hollywood movies. Mind you [Steven Sodeburgh](http://www.k26.com/solaris/The_Films/the_films.html) is supposed to doing a remake :eek: \*\* I didn’t understand much of Solaris either, and if I hadn’t already known the basic premise of the book, I would have been _completely_ lost. Of course, it didn’t help matters that a lot of the dialogue wasn’t subtitled for some reason… ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613/40 "2001-07-18T05:56:21Z")
Some kind soul on this board once tried to explain the ending of THE QUIET EARTH to me (“He went where they went,” I believe was the response). I still don’t get it. . . Sir Rhosis [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incomprehensible-movie-plots/72613.md?page=3)