# Inconceivable! (Or, I finally watched the Princess Bride) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 23, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334 "2004-12-23T15:47:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/61 "2004-12-24T00:27:59Z")
[Linky link](http://www.godamongdirectors.com/scripts/princess.shtml) to the script for the movie. I love Westley’s creative swearing: Westley: To the pain. Humperdinck: I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase. Westley: I’ll explain. And I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon. \ H: I think you’re bluffing – W: It’s possible, pig – I might be bluffing – it’s conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand – then again, perhaps I have the strength after all. ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/62 "2004-12-24T00:42:14Z")
Count Rugen: Now Remember this is for prosterity, so be honest. How does that make you feel? Westley: Uuuhhhhh… Count Rugen: Hmm, Interesting. Humperdink: Surrender or DIE! Westly: WHat? You wish to surrender to me? Very well then I accept. Montoya: His wife is crippled. His children… on the brink of starvation… Miracle Max: … Boy are you a rotten liar. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/63 "2004-12-24T01:55:14Z")
Miracle Max: All dead, well, with all dead, there’s usually only one thing that you can do. Inigo Montoya: What’s that? Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/64 "2004-12-24T02:06:15Z")
Finish him… finish him. _Your_ way. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/65 "2004-12-24T02:09:37Z")
> [@Jess](#): > > Every one of you who hasn’t read the book needs to go out, right now – in the snow, or the rain, or the middle of the night, doesn’t matter, _right now_ – and get the book. The movie is excellent, but the book is excellent _cubed_. Really. I loved the film, but was disappointed by the book. Some dreadfully slow passages… ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/66 "2004-12-24T02:10:09Z")
> [@vl\_mungo](#): > > Finish him… finish him. _Your_ way. My way? What’s my way? ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/67 "2004-12-24T02:10:09Z")
> [@vl\_mungo](#): > > Finish him… finish him. _Your_ way. …my way’s not very sportsmanlike. And one of my favorite lines in the next scene: Rest well, and dream of large women. ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/68 "2004-12-24T02:15:47Z")
Inigo Montoya: Who are you? Westley: No one of consequence. Inigo Montoya: I must know… Westley: Get used to disappointment. Inigo Montoya: 'kay. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/69 "2004-12-24T02:21:27Z")
> [@Reeder](#): > > Westley: Get used to disappointment. You’d be surprised how often you can use that phrase in everyday conversation…especially if you are a teacher! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/70 "2004-12-24T02:23:46Z")
**silenus** , I’ve discovered I hear it mostly in my dating life. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/71 "2004-12-24T02:29:42Z")
:eek: 😃 I feel your pain! Been there… ---
**Author:** ![Sevo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sevo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevo)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/72 "2004-12-24T02:40:38Z")
Wes: “Give us the gatekey.” Captain: “What gatekey?” Wes: “Fesik…tear his arms off.” Captain: “Oh, you mean _this_ gatekey.” ---
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/73 "2004-12-24T02:44:35Z")
Love the movie… I use the “Why didn’t you list that among our assets in the first place?” line all the time. > [@](#): > > Westley: My brains, your strength, and his steel against sixty men, and you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy? Hmmmm? I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. > > Inigo: Where did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had? > > Fezzik: With the albino, I think. > > Westley: Why didn’t you list that among our assets in the first place? What I wouldn’t give for a holocaust cloak. > > Inigo: There we cannot help you. > > Fezzik: Would this do? > > Inigo: Where did you get that? > > Fezzik: At Miracle Max’s. It fit so nice, he said I could keep it. ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/74 "2004-12-24T05:45:54Z")
“Fezzik, jog his memory.” _POW_ “I’m sorry, Inigo. I didn’t mean to jog him so hard.” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/75 "2004-12-24T06:39:19Z")
Inigo: Let me explain. _Pause_ No, there is too much…let me sum up. Maybe we should try this: Post the lines that NO ONE likes, otherwise we’ll put the whole script on here. ---
**Author:** ![borschevsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/97f17d/32.png) [@borschevsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/borschevsky)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/76 "2004-12-24T14:41:10Z")
May I live a thousand years, and never hunt again. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/77 "2004-12-24T14:42:41Z")
“You mean you put down your rock and I put down my sword, and we kill each other like civilized men?” “I coo keel yoo ra nah.” ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/78 "2004-12-24T14:44:07Z")
Odd, because I had the opposite reaction. I saw it for the first time about a year ago and found it “eh” at best. I can see why it’s funny, but I guess it was hyped up for me for years that it lost it’s punch. ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/79 "2004-12-24T15:41:49Z")
To blave. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334/80 "2004-12-24T15:42:06Z")
> [@Waenara](#): > > Westley: To the pain. > Humperdinck: I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase. > Westley: I’ll explain. And I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you wart-hog-faced buffoon. > > \ But you snipped the best part! Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me. Westley: It won’t be the last. To the pain means the first thing you lose will be your feet, below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose. Humperdinck: And then my tongue, I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time, a mistake I don’t mean to duplicate tonight. Westley: I wasn’t finished – the next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right – Humperdinck: …And then my ears, I understand. Let’s get on with it! Westley: WRONG! Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why… so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, “Dear God, what is that thing?” will echo in your perfect ears. That is what “to the pain” means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery _forever_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inconceivable-or-i-finally-watched-the-princess-bride/281334.md?page=5)