# Incorrigible brats injure a woman with a frozen turkey **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 19, 2004, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641 "2004-11-19T12:16:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/21 "2004-11-19T14:46:15Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > It’s not about the weight, but the mass, and the hardness and shape of the material. You’re less likely to have penetration with a softer material (such as frozen meat) than with cement or stone. If, for instance, you dropped a 16 pound bowling ball, and a 16 pound frozen turkey into a big block of the gelatin they use to determine wound cavitations from firearm rounds, you would (likely) find that the bowling ball would travel much further, with much more lateral impact than the turkey would. But a frozen turkey is still nearly rock hard. SInce turkey doesn’t properly freeze at the same temperature as water, it was much colder than 32F, thus the water content was very cold and very hard. And travelling at that velocity, it wouldn’t matter much anyway. And if it has enough mass and velocity to go through a windshield, it doesn’t matter if it’s a fluffy teddy bear. It’s still enough to cause serious injury or death. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/22 "2004-11-19T15:02:39Z")
I bet the little hooligans are wishing they had donated their ill-gotten turkey to some poor hungry family now. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/23 "2004-11-19T15:07:35Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > But a frozen turkey is still nearly rock hard. SInce turkey doesn’t properly freeze at the same temperature as water, it was much colder than 32F, thus the water content was very cold and very hard. And travelling at that velocity, it wouldn’t matter much anyway. > > And if it has enough mass and velocity to go through a windshield, it doesn’t matter if it’s a fluffy teddy bear. It’s still enough to cause serious injury or death. True, but even if we are to believe that the turkey in question was completely frozen, it’s base material is still subject to disintegration on impact If, for instance, you took a kitchen knife to a frozen turkey, and a kitchen knife to a cinder block, you would likely see that you were able to cut into the turkey, but not able to cut into the block. What’s more, the turkey was, presumably, wrapped in plastic, and after being frozen, started to thaw, and thus produced condensation, which acted as a lubricant on the surface of the vehicle, that lubricant was likely a destablizing agent for the turkey, effecting not only the velocity, but the trajectory. just one mans opinion, of course. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/24 "2004-11-19T15:14:20Z")
Here in Ohio, we’ve had to install fences on interstate overpasses because the little scampers just can’t resist tossing things down onto the drivers below. A few years back a kid tossed a bowling ball off an overpass and succeeded in killing the driver. (Steeeeeeeee-RIKE!) Makes you almost wish there were more GameBoy addicts in the world. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/25 "2004-11-19T15:22:28Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > What’s more, the turkey was, presumably, wrapped in plastic, and after being frozen, started to thaw, and thus produced condensation, which acted as a lubricant on the surface of the vehicle, that lubricant was likely a destablizing agent for the turkey, effecting not only the velocity, but the trajectory. Good points, but I doubt that a just-purchased turkey frozen to about 15F would thaw very much in Long Island in November. I guess it depends on how long it was in the car. And I’ve tried to insert a knife into frozen meat – may as well have been a wooden block. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/26 "2004-11-19T15:23:17Z")
How idiotic. Who do they think they are… [Chunnel train engineers](http://birdstrike.bcrescue.org/houstonchronicle.html)? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/27 "2004-11-19T16:43:06Z")
> [@Marlitharn](#): > > …out of curiousity, who eats the cost of such purchases? The credit card company or the stores? The stores, usually. The CC company will issue a chargeback to the merchant, unless the store can prove that it diligently followed the acceptance procedures as spelled out in the merchant agreement. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/28 "2004-11-19T17:43:06Z")
I worked retail for a while, and I can’t tell you how annoyed most customers would get when we tried to verify the card they were using was indeed theirs. “No the card isn’t signed! I don’t want to sign it! Give me hundreds of dollars worth of items on my non-signed, no-photo-ID-to-prove-who-I-am, credit card. What the fuck do you mean you’re calling a manager? Do you know who I am? Where the hell do you get off? I can’t believe this!” Not saying the clerk shouldn’t have checked, just that it’s not always that simple, especially if you’ve got a line. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/29 "2004-11-19T18:01:18Z")
This story gave me a bit of a shiver because a couple of months ago I was on the freeway and something came flying at me from the traffic lanes going in the other direction and completely knocked off my left driver side mirror. I don’t know what it was but a foot or two to the right and who knows what could have happened. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/30 "2004-11-19T18:15:59Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Good points, but I doubt that a just-purchased turkey frozen to about 15F would thaw very much in Long Island in November. I guess it depends on how long it was in the car. > > And I’ve tried to insert a knife into frozen meat – may as well have been a wooden block. Indeed, there are unknown variables, but I still contend that if this were a bowling ball, that woman would have probably been dead. On that note: **pundit lisa** Tell me where to send the cleaning bill for my monitor and keyboard. Thank you (Steeeeee-RIKE!) HA. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/31 "2004-11-19T18:26:37Z")
First degree assault? That sounds kind of weak, no? ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/32 "2004-11-19T18:47:54Z")
According to **D\_Odd** ’s article, the turkey was fresh, not frozen. > **[Newsday | Long Island's & NYC's News Source](https://www.newsday.com)** > > Breaking News, data & opinions in business, sports, entertainment, travel, lifestyle, plus much more. Newsday.com is the leading news source for Long Island & NYC. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/33 "2004-11-19T19:43:56Z")
“The two youths were identified by their first names only, Beavis and Butt-head, to protect their identities. The credit card was stolen from a Mr. Tom Anderson” ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/34 "2004-11-19T19:56:48Z")
Any more news on how the victim is doing? **neuroman** ’s link says she has’t regained consciousness. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/35 "2004-11-19T20:46:55Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > According to **D\_Odd** ’s article, the turkey was fresh, not frozen. So they were just testing the old “Thaw the chickens” joke? Holy Crap! I hope they get time. We need to sic Jack McCoy on the little buggers. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/36 "2004-11-19T21:35:31Z")
I don’t see the big deal. So one driver flipped the bird at another. No reason to arrest anyone. Dear god I’m sorry. The voices made me do it. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641/37 "2004-11-19T21:40:32Z")
> [@Harborwolf](#): > > I don’t see the big deal. So one driver flipped the bird at another. No reason to arrest anyone. > Dear god I’m sorry. The voices made me do it. This being the pit, I can say :wally to you but only because people are looking at me for laughing at nothing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incorrigible-brats-injure-a-woman-with-a-frozen-turkey/275641.md?page=1)