# Incubus is douchebag **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 28, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247 "2014-07-28T15:20:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/21 "2014-07-28T16:53:55Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > My honest assessment of Incubus is that he probably grew up in utter chaos. Maybe a child of alcoholics, something like that. His hot, Mexican wife TM showed him another way and now he feels smugly superior to anyone that is not at least at his level of income, fitness, or social standing (meaning very, very average) Yes, this. I’m also guessing he associates with people are also very very average. The kind of people who probably are easily impressed with his bus-driving job and wife. The kind of people who probably ARE lazy slobs who do nothing but whine and complain about their loserdom. So perhaps in his social circle, **Incubus** really is hot shit. His mistake is that he thinks his social circle reflects the world at large. If you look back at his early posting history, you’ll find him talking shit about lazy, loser friends, coworkers, and classmates. I called him “St. Incubus” once because of his inability to relay a story without being santimonious. So I think while his social circle can explain some of this, it’s also a major part of his personality to judge people. Maybe someone judged him harshly a lot growing up, and he has adopted this annoying behavior to cope with the feelings of inadequency he experienced back then. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/22 "2014-07-28T16:53:55Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I love the post in the other thread where [**JohnClay** absolutely shames **Incubus**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17582714&postcount=8). That was awesome. If John freaking Clay of all people one ups you, there is seriously something wrong. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/23 "2014-07-28T16:55:48Z")
Maybe he and JohnClay are alter egos of the same troll though. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/24 "2014-07-28T16:56:34Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > And for you long-timers, this is the same poster who had a family member possibly/probably being abused and hemmed and hawed over doing anything about it. Oh, that’s the same guy? What a silly bunt. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/25 "2014-07-28T16:56:42Z")
There is no wife; hot, Mexican or otherwise. He’s trolling, plain and simple. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/26 "2014-07-28T16:58:12Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > That’s great you “rose above it” but acting like a smug asshole doesn’t really do you any favors. What worked for you doesn’t necessarily work for someone else. And it’s not like you pulled yourself up from an orphanage to the CEO position of Microsoft. You live the same boring middle-class life most of us do. You aren’t special. I never said I was special. But what worked for me was such a fundamentally basic aspect of self-improvement that for a person to ignore it shows they are just lazy. But even being lazy seems hard for people to admit. This is because it is much easier to blame our problems on something out of our control. When we focus on the factors that are outside of our control we start to reinforce we aren’t doing anything wrong on our end. Continuing to make the same mistakes becomes easy, because we can remain blaming other people. If I did poorly in a class in college, it was my fault, mine, nobody else’s. It wasn’t because the professor was an asshole to me, it wasn’t because there was too much material to keep on top of, it wasn’t because I had some self-diagnosed learning disorder. It was because I wasn’t doing what it took to pass the class, and the only way for me to improve and get better is to identify what I was doing wrong/insufficiently and address it. The same applies to job applications. People complain they can’t get hired. They blame ‘the economy’. It is like a fat person blaming genetics as the sole problem they are fat. They can’t face the fact that it is all on them. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/27 "2014-07-28T17:02:51Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Maybe he and JohnClay are alter egos of the same troll though. Careful about what you say about **JohnClay**. You’re makin’ him smug…you don’t want to see him when he gets smug! :eek: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/28 "2014-07-28T17:05:37Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > That’s great you “rose above it” but acting like a smug asshole doesn’t really do you any favors. What worked for you doesn’t necessarily work for someone else. And it’s not like you pulled yourself up from an orphanage to the CEO position of Microsoft. You live the same boring middle-class life most of us do. You aren’t special. It seems to me that **Incubus’s** transformation is what happens to most people as they mature. Everyone is a hot mess in their late teens, early 20s. But eventually most people figure shit out and things come together. It may not come together in a Ozzie-and-Harriet, white-picket-fence-and-a-baby kind of way. But most healthy people manage to get to adulthood with a respectable life and reasons to be proud. The difference between **Incubus** and everyone else is that most people don’t pat themselves on the back for all the hard hard work they did. They just reflect on how immature they once were and let out a chuckle of relief that they eventually grew up. Truly mature people don’t need to congratulate themselves for something as unremarkable as simply evolving as a human being. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/29 "2014-07-28T17:05:58Z")
More sanctimoniousness. **Incubus** , you might have shit figured out for **Incubus** , but smart and mature people understand that what worked and works for you might not work for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/30 "2014-07-28T17:16:17Z")
I don’t have a problem believing the income part of it. When cops can drag down in excess of $100K/year (including OT), a bus driver working overtime sure can. Time and a half for OT and double time on holidays and weekends can really add up. If the starting salary is, say, $60K/year, it would only take an extra 20 hours a week of straight time pay to get someone up to $90K (if my math is right). If he’s getting 2 hours of OT a day and working some weekends and holidays, it’s easy to get there. FTR, I’m not denying that **Incubus** can be dickish; I’m just not sure the salary part of it is worth poking at. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/31 "2014-07-28T17:19:46Z")
Ditto what **Chefguy** said. I completely buy $90k. Also, some of my very best friends are overweight, and some have zits. Also also, I’m over 40 and still inordinately proud when I manage to have a clean house. Otherwise, I’m sure he’s a dick. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/32 "2014-07-28T17:25:51Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > It seems to me that **Incubus’s** transformation is what happens to most people as they mature. Everyone is a hot mess in their late teens, early 20s. But eventually most people figure shit out and things come together. It may not come together in a Ozzie-and-Harriet, white-picket-fence-and-a-baby kind of way. But most healthy people manage to get to adulthood with a respectable life and reasons to be proud. > > The difference between **Incubus** and everyone else is that most people don’t pat themselves on the back for all the hard hard work they did. They just reflect on how immature they once were and let out a chuckle of relief that they eventually grew up. Truly mature people don’t need to congratulate themselves for something as unremarkable as simply evolving as a human being. You were really proud of yourself for making one friend one friend but that was a big deal to you I never said that’s not something that’s worth bragging about.but I’m sure that the skills that you developed in order to get that one friend were very valuable and you probably apply them in other applications.I made a lot of changes to my life over the last 10 years and at the end of it it turned out that it just boil down to simply working harder and taking ownership for my actions I don’t think those two things are incredibly specific to my own success anybody can do it. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/33 "2014-07-28T17:27:19Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > You were really proud of yourself for making one friend one friend but that was a big deal to you I never said that’s not something that’s worth bragging about.but I’m sure that the skills that you developed in order to get that one friend were very valuable and you probably apply them in other applications.I made a lot of changes to my life over the last 10 years and at the end of it it turned out that it just boil down to simply working harder and taking ownership for my actions I don’t think those two things are incredibly specific to my own success anybody can do it. Holy grammar and punctuation, Batman! Your earlier posts were at least legible… I can’t make heads or tails out of most of these sentences (or whatever they are). ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/34 "2014-07-28T17:32:28Z")
I’m not sure how this works, but assuming you really have a Hot Mexican Wife ™, how long before she doesn’t need to be married to you anymore for residency? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/35 "2014-07-28T17:39:08Z")
> [@GrandWino](#): > > I’m not sure how this works, but assuming you really have a Hot Mexican Wife ™, how long before she doesn’t need to be married to you anymore for residency? I think it’s more likely Hot Mexican Wife ™ likes fixer uppers. Since Incubus has his shit together now she might conclude her work there is done and move on to her next project. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/36 "2014-07-28T17:46:49Z")
My theory is that the Hot Mexican Wife was snooping on Incubus’s computer and found his stash of BBW porn. Now, to expiate his guilt, he must shout his disgust for fat people from every mountaintop (or every SDMB thread). I have some other theories, but I’ll get back to you after I’ve finished my letter to the Nobel Foundation about Inky’s achievements in the field of housekeeping. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/37 "2014-07-28T17:47:12Z")
Why would she divorce a submissive latina-worshipper who apparently shares her sense of superiority and makes a boatload of money? She’s got to send money back to her family in Mexico who are very hard workers but somehow very poor not of their own accord. And don’t say that’s not true because I know a Mexican and he totally does that. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/38 "2014-07-28T17:48:17Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I don’t have a problem believing the income part of it. When cops can drag down in excess of $100K/year (including OT), a bus driver working overtime sure can. Time and a half for OT and double time on holidays and weekends can really add up. If the starting salary is, say, $60K/year, it would only take an extra 20 hours a week of straight time pay to get someone up to $90K (if my math is right). If he’s getting 2 hours of OT a day and working some weekends and holidays, it’s easy to get there. > > FTR, I’m not denying that **Incubus** can be dickish; I’m just not sure the salary part of it is worth poking at. I have a thick skin, call me a smug asshole all you want. But for people to accuse me of lying about this, and being so proud of themselves for it, it surprising. Its grasping at straws. Ironically, their doubt about my income just makes me MORE proud about it. Similarly, people can claim my wife doesn’t make squat but it turns out having an MSW and being bilingual is quite lucrative here, to the tune of $150,000. People here got angry at what I said, and decided to take the low road by attacking: -My job, which they consider me being unworthy of being smug about. -My wife’s appearance, ethnicity, and very existence. -My clean house, which gets marginalized even though there are plenty of dopers who’ve admitted to living in a human pigsty. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/39 "2014-07-28T17:49:06Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Why would she divorce a submissive latina-worshipper who apparently shares her sense of superiority and makes a boatload of money? She’s got to send money back to her family in Mexico who are very hard workers but somehow very poor not of their own accord. And don’t say that’s not true because I know a Mexican and he totally does that. Good point, but 90k, even if true, doesn’t go far in San Fran. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247/40 "2014-07-28T17:51:22Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > People here got angry at what I said, and decided to take the low road by attacking: > -My job, which they consider me being unworthy of being smug about. > -My wife’s appearance, ethnicity, and very existence. > -My clean house, which gets marginalized even though there are plenty of dopers who’ve admitted to living in a human pigsty. If you don’t want to be attacked, don’t make sanctimonious and bigoted statements. Your posts started the “low road”, not the responses. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/incubus-is-douchebag/694247.md?page=3)