# Indecent Proposals, revisited **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749 "2010-07-06T18:13:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/21 "2010-07-07T16:32:56Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > I have to say ‘No thank you.’ > > Money just isn’t that great a motivator for me given my husband and my current economic situation (we’re comfortable). > > I suppose if we were destitute and I needed to pay for surgery for him (in an alternative universe where Canada doesn’t have universal healthcare) my opinion might change, but right now - I’ll pass. Yeah, obviously this may change if we were Bulgarian refugees in desperate need of an exit visa, or something. Or if the one surgeon who could save my son’s life with a rare operation somehow took a shine to me and decided she’d only do it for services in exchange or something. Plenty of alternate universe stories might change the equation… ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/22 "2010-07-07T16:53:20Z")
> [@](#): > > How much money would it take for you to spend one night of relatively unbridled sexual congress with Joe (or Josephine)? Fitty cent. And, if you’re good, I’ll give you a quarter change. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/23 "2010-07-07T17:00:58Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Yeah, obviously this may change if we were Bulgarian refugees in desperate need of an exit visa, … I think you meant Letters of Transit, didn’t you…Rick? ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/24 "2010-07-07T17:40:49Z")
> [@Wargamer](#): > > I think you meant Letters of Transit, didn’t you…Rick? Captain Renault was in charge of the ordinary exit visas; it was that prize he was dangling in front of Annina. The letters of transit were the documents stolen by Ugarte, Peter Lorre’s character, that “could not be questioned” because they were signed by General Weygand. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/25 "2010-07-07T18:20:15Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > But my wife would, I’m fairly certain, be accepting of my decision to cook a fine meal for someone else and doing the dishes afterward. Not so much, the sex. And for my point of view, I’d have no problem with my wife cooking a fine meal for that other person and doing the dishes afterwards, either, but I would have a hard time getting past the idea that she banged him, no matter how fat our checking account got the next day. I understand how someone would feel that way, because of how our culture conflates sex with love, but intellectually, it just seems wrong to me that we should feel that way. Especially considering that, nowadays, there is a good chance that spouses have had previous relationships. It shouldn’t matter (even though it does.) ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/26 "2010-07-07T18:59:01Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Oh, and to answer my own question: decline. Don’t get me wrong – a few extra million kicked into the retirement fund would be much appreciated, but there’s no amount of money that would make me risk damaging my marriage… I’m yet to be married but…yeah. my financial situation is comfortable (by my standards) and my current relationship is far more precious to me then any non-insane amount. > [@Algher](#): > > When the movie came out, my wife was in graduate school and I was working my way up the ladder. During a cocktail party we discussed this. > > She said that she would never do it. However, she said that I was welcome to go for it for $250k or more for one night, assuming all disease checks were made in advance and that the money went into our joint account. Only other stipulation is privacy - this is not to be done in a way that is known publicly. In the vernacular - she is willing to pimp me out, but not whore out herself. I would put our price higher today - and a million would certainly suffice. In a reversal, i would do it myself given those stipulations, but am far too jealous a person to let my SO do it. Having said that, she’s far too jealous a person to let me do it, so it hardly matters. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/27 "2010-07-07T18:59:05Z")
$5. If I have my current girlfriend, then I’ll have to get back to you. If I don’t have to tell her…$1000. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/28 "2010-07-07T19:22:58Z")
I, personally, would have no problem with either myself or Husband doing so, given a substantive amount of money. It’s one night, it’s just sex, and it’s not like either of us came virgin to the relationship. Now, if they offered me $1M to leave him? No. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/29 "2010-07-07T19:33:41Z")
As of this morning I am no longer married but if I were, I would have to discuss the proposition with my wife. I’m sure she would go for it if the price was right—she would be wiling to negotiate but as close to $1,000000 as possible. But what happens if I show up with her to seal the deal and the buyer suddenly says that he now wants my wife and not me? Could the price be renegotiated? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/30 "2010-07-07T19:39:54Z")
See, now, shallow as this sounds, it really depends on the looks of the person. The average Joe? It’d have to be a hell of a lot of money. Jude Law? Probably do it for $5. Or hell, a lunch. But it would never happen. I would be pretty OK with my SO having sex with another woman, for one night, for $1 million, say. I’d really rather not know about it, and have him tell me he won the lottery, and I’d never want to talk about it. So I’d probably just not tell him about it if I was to do it… He, however, gets (somewhat) charmingly old-fashioned when such things come up and gets his back up. So he’d never do it (yeah, I know, there’s always a chance, you never know someone, blah, blah…) and he’d never consent to me doing it. P.S. If I was single, it wouldn’t really be a problem…the money part obviously is more bothersome than the sex part. P.P.S. I don’t find Robert Redford very attractive. He’s so generic, like cookie-cutter looks. Pshaw. ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/31 "2010-07-07T19:57:40Z")
The real question for me (and for many of us who are married with kids, I would assume) is not, “Would you break your commitment vows to your SO for x amount of money?” but rather, “If offered a much better life for you and your family, would you do it?” Money per se doesn’t interest me much. I love my wife much more than I love material security or lifestyle comforts. So on that level, nuh-uh. No way. No thanks. Not for $1M, not for $1B. But we have a child. And like all parents we love her FIERCELY and ENDLESSLY. So if my wife and I were discussing this in terms of a trust fund, college tuition, etc., etc., for our little one, the answer might be very different. Few parents that I know would refuse to do something on moral grounds if it were more or less socially and legally consequence-free, and could assure their child(ren)'s material security for the rest of their child(ren)'s lives. So I wouldn’t want to become a man-whore just to get filthy rich. But to secure my daughter’s future, which money can come pretty damn close to doing? Yeah, let’s start the negotiations… ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/32 "2010-07-07T20:49:12Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > I, personally, would have no problem with either myself or Husband doing so, given a substantive amount of money. It’s one night, it’s just sex, and it’s not like either of us came virgin to the relationship. > > Now, if they offered me $1M to leave him? No. Bingo. As long as things were talked out between my SO and I, I’d be fine with it. Having sex with someone else isn’t going to “ruin” either one of us. $100k = not worth it. $1mill = probably worth it $5mill (financial independence) - absolutely worth it (condom use required, STD tests required) Leave my SO? Nope, I’ll live in a cardboard box first. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/33 "2010-07-08T03:01:08Z")
> [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](#): > > Bingo. > As long as things were talked out between my SO and I, I’d be fine with it. Having sex with someone else isn’t going to “ruin” either one of us. > > $100k = not worth it. > $1mill = probably worth it > $5mill (financial independence) - absolutely worth it > (condom use required, STD tests required) > > Leave my SO? Nope, I’ll live in a cardboard box first. In the movie, things are talked out between the husband and wife – in fact, he encourages her and she’s reluctant to do it. After the act, the husband discovers that he wasn’t as fine with it as he thought he would be. He can’t stop thinking about it, unfairly blames her and suspects she enjoyed it, etc etc. So the key element would seem to be (if you’re Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson, anyway) being SURE that your S.O. would be Ok with it. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/34 "2010-07-08T10:14:53Z")
I’m jealous and paranoid. The idea of my SO having sex with someone else would eat me alive. I’d probably give her thumbs up if we were being offered millions but it’d make a wreck out of me. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/35 "2010-07-08T14:07:39Z")
I’d be comfortable with it for any significant amount of money, say, $50k or more. Ultimately, a one-night stand is not going to damage my marriage, and even as little as $50k (a solid down payment around here) would measurably improve the house and household wealth we’re soon going to bring a child into. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/36 "2010-07-08T14:27:36Z")
So, wait - am I Woody Harrelson or Demi Moore in this scenario? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/37 "2010-07-08T17:04:28Z")
Assuming I’m Demi, the price depends entirely on how okay my wife is with it. If she’s all, “woohoo, Maui vacation”, probably pretty cheap - assuming the chick isn’t too ugly. If she’s all, “I am so not okay with this!”, then… uh… Ferrari money. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/38 "2010-07-08T17:14:31Z")
26-year-old single male. What **Oredigger** said. If I was feeling particularly cocky (;)) that day, I’d ask for an offer and accept whatever number they threw out. I almost added something about making sure they weren’t cops fishing for a really weird sort of hooker, but assuming they just approached me with this offer out of the clear blue sky, they’re either not cops or else they’re the stupidest cops ever. The latter would actually be pretty funny, so I might go with it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749/39 "2010-07-08T17:21:41Z")
We struggle from paycheck to paycheck, so I’d be okay with either myself or my spouse agreeing to it for about $50,000.00. Anything less than that would be needed for a specific reason (say surgery). Both of us would have to clear things though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecent-proposals-revisited/545749.md?page=1)