My favorite from Creedence Clearwater Revival
“There’s a bathroom on the right !”
“Hope is not a method”
In “Big Man with a Gun” on Halo 8, the Downward Spiral, by Nine Inch Nails, I always used to think that Trent was saying “Maybe I’m not fucking God.”
Turns out he’s saying “Me and my fucking gun.”
I like my version better.
Studi
You can’t spell Studi without stud.
Thanks Shayna! Those lyrics have been bugging me for about 20 years now.
My goofed-up lyric story: One of my all-time favorite songs is Black Water, by the Doobie Brothers. Always thought they said “I’d like to have some funky dixie lamprey, mama come & take me by the hand.” When I was a kind, I didn’t think it was wrong. When I got older, I knew it was wrong, but couldn’t figure it out. One day last summer–yes, last summer–I was driving down the road, that song came on, and I heard it correctly. Out of freaking nowhere, after more than 20 years of seeing fish with banjos, I get it. “I’d like to hear some funky dixieland, pretty mama come & take me by the hand.”
You all have my permission to point at me and laugh now.
“The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage.” --anonymous redhead
I used to think that Wings song “Band on the Run” was “Ban Deodorant”.
When I was a little girl I used to sing along to a song about “Radish and Ruby”. Years later I heard the song and realized it was “Ravishing Ruby”. Anybody know who sang that?
MaryAnn
I’m sorry you didn’t win, mom, but I’ll give you a constellation prize! -Greg
Another one I just remembered. When I was very young, and country stations were about all you could get on the radio where I lived, sometimes theyd play Johnny Cash’s “Ghost Riders in the Sky”. I always thought he was saying “No spiders in the sky”. This made perfect sense to me. After all, spiders can’t fly. I always wondered why my parents cracked up when I sang it, though.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
You’re welcome, Cristi & Jodih. And if it’s any consolation to you Cristi, I have an even more embarrassing one than you do. I couldn’t figure out the right words to the freaking Partridge Family Theme!! Bwahahahaha!! I always sang, “When we had three, we’d go traveling together.” I knew that wasn’t right, because there were certainly more than three of them, but heck if I could figure out what they were really saying. It wasn’t until last year that I saw the lyrics written out somewhere and discovered that they were, “We had a dream we’d go travelling together.” How’s that for lame?
Now could someone please tell me the lyrics to anything that Hootee and The Blowfish sings? 
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank
She’s got electric boots
A mohawk too,
A yellow minnow can I sell a minnow say hey,
Oh, hoh,
Benny and the Jetssssss
Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post
Shouldn’t that be:
ba-ba-ba-benny and the jets
Thanks, now I have that part stuck in my head hehe
“What a Fool Believes” is my favorite unintelligible song. Michael McDonald is the all-time king of marble-mouthed singers. He regularly swallows words – including, in this case, the “no” that makes the whole refrain make sense:
What a fool believes he sees
[No]wise man has the power
To reason away…
Which didn’t stop it from being a huge hit. It was, after all, a great record.
In “Hotel California,” they sing of “pretty, pretty boys/that she calls friends.” I heard that for years as “that she calls men.” I like mine better.
Does anyone know what R.E.M. are saying in the refrain of “Radio Free Europe”? Calling all what? It sounds like either “in transit” or “end century” to me.
Catrandom
“Calling on in transit.”
Most of R.E.M.'s early songs don’t make sense even when transcribed correctly.
Has anyone ever listened to The Dave Matthews Band on any of their live CD’s? I can’t even guess sometimes what the lyrica are. I know them because I’ve read them, but it’s funny that you can’t understand them. Especially “Halloween”. BTW, you all need to listen to Dave, the man’s great, and I have Sean to thank for it.
Stupid people surround themselves with smart people. Smart people surround themselves with smart people who disagree with them. - Isaac Jaffee (new quote)
Okay, the best band for unintelligible lyrics is Pearl Jam. Have you ever heard Yellow Ledbetter? It makes Bob Dylan sound like Pierce Brosnan, and it goes a lil something like this:
Oh a weena, owna weesa medda ho, gon ah say, ah gonna so lowd agee-eh, An ah saw ah ahn a weesa oah my oh, ah say I know wah a weh nadda box ah ah de bah.
Or something like that; it’s a great song but what the hell is that freak saying?
And oh yeah, what’s up with Metallica? Most of the time their lyrics are great, but other times…? Example:
In Master of Puppets after the big solo James Hetfield seems to scream “Bake some Eggs!!!”
Did he really want some breakfast or what?
There is this new group, Static X, that doesn’t even sound like english, although I have been assured that it is. I use their album to control my dog sonically.
Can anyone help with these stumpers? Especially the first one. Noonch.
“And on the eighth day, God Created beer
to prevent the Irish from taking over
the Earth.”
~SNOOGANS~
While listening to Aerosmith’s Dude Looks like a Lady, my Mom asks if they are singing Do the Lucky Lady? So, whenever i hear the song, i sing ‘do the lucky lady’ for the heck of it.
If we’re to consider where you might be coming from, is there something I need to add here?
I didn’t think so…
I don’t know why fortune smiles on some and lets the rest go free…
T
Dude, Tbone2, what are you talking about?
Whatchyoowan’ foo’? 
Did I say something funny or wrong or what did I do?
<font size=+4>HUH???</font>
Noonch.
“And on the eighth day, God Created beer
to prevent the Irish from taking over
the Earth.”
~SNOOGANS~
“How dark’s our chasm / In the classroom” - Pink Floyd … “Another Brick In the Wall Part II”
“But, the chairs are not my size” - Michael Jackson … “Billie Jean”
“Peter, Jed, and Linus” - Steve Miller … the big ol’ jet airliner song
“Big Ol’ Jed had a rhino” - Steve Miller … the big ol’ jet airliner song
Whenever somebody mumbles or clutters their words incomprehensibly, I tell them they’ve been to the Manfredd Mann School of Enunciation.
Any similarity in the above text to an English word or phrase is purely coincidental.
Cristi, you gave me the biggest belly laugh on this whole thread with your “Black Water” lyrics.
BTW, I think it’s “I’d like to hear some ** funk in ** Dixieland.”
SmickD, I think I heard somewhere that the lyrics to “Yellow Ledbetter” ARE gibberish. Eddie Vedder poking fun at his own singing style.
Here’s one of my most embarrasing lyric botches.
On Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer,” after the line in the chorus, “Pull me closer, Tiny Dancer/ Count the headlights on the highway”
For YEARS I thought it then said
“Baby, darlin’, she’s sublimin’.”
I thought Elton had invented his own verb for being subliminal. (The actual line, BTW, is “Lay me down in sheets of linen.”
Phoebe on “Friends” once mentioned this song in an episode. She thought the chorus said,
“Pull me closer, Tony Danza.”
“In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.” - Ecclesiastes 1:18
I just had a flashback to high school. One of my friends father was attempting to sing along to that Metallica song from …And Justice for All, I think it is called “One”. It’s the song about the poor soldier boy who has a run in with a land mine. Near the end of the song, James Hetfield considerately barks out each of the body parts that were affected by this tragedy. “Land mine… has taken my sight… taken my speech… taken my hearing… taken my arms… taken my legs… left me with life in hell…” (Cheery little ditty.) Well, there’s Dad trying his best to keep up, shouting:
“Talkin’ ‘bout my arms, talkin’ ‘bout my legs, talkin’ 'bout my broken bones, can’t catch my breath…”
Oh, it was hysterical.
Glad I made you laugh, Keith! I’ll try to sing the song right, now. Well, I’ll get the damn words right, anyway. I sing so badly, my cat tells me to shut up.
Eric Clapton is another master of the mangled vocal, which brings me to my next indecipherable lyric, from Cream’s “Sunshine of Your Love.” I think he says “I’ll give you my dark surprise,” but I’m not sure. It sounds like he’s saying “dog’s surprise,” but that can’t be right. But it could be, I suppose, since the song is about sex and all.
“The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his ribcage.” --anonymous redhead
Although I knew I wasn’t right, for the longest time, the only thing I could think of that the Barenaked Ladies were saying in “One Week” was:
Chicken vagina, the Chinese chicken!
Brady Bunch Quote Of The Week:
“Oh, Mom, not glasses. I’ll look positively goofy!” – Jan