# Indecorous Embiggenment **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 28, 2014, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368 "2014-12-28T17:36:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/21 "2014-12-30T14:18:12Z")
This thread makes me realize how totally naive and clueless I was way back when. Honest-to-goodness, I never noticed nor heard discussions of the issue. Where was I during my junior high years?? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/22 "2014-12-30T14:48:16Z")
Apparently someplace with only decorous penises. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/23 "2014-12-30T16:03:51Z")
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/24 "2014-12-30T16:36:53Z")
The really sad thing is that somewhere in this world there is someone for whom the mental picture of Margaret Thatcher on a cold day will actually GIVE them an “embiggenment”… ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/25 "2014-12-30T16:38:26Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > … only to return to my seat with her staring directly at my crotch the whole way. … Like I said in post #2: _if you’ve got it, flaunt it._ You \*did \*have her undivided attention. With a little retconning you can adjust your memory of the event until she looks intrigued / fascinated rather than disgusted / appalled. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/26 "2014-12-30T19:41:11Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Actually, it’s “tight pants, points, hardly renown.” The points aren’t in his pants (and why are there more than one? :)), they’re on his shoes. It took me twenty years of hearing that song to register what “with points all her own, sitting way up high, way up firm and high” referred to. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/27 "2014-12-30T19:52:59Z")
I just tuck it in the top of my sock and go about my day. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/28 "2014-12-30T22:44:16Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > This thread makes me realize how totally naive and clueless I was way back when. Honest-to-goodness, I never noticed nor heard discussions of the issue. Where was I during my junior high years?? Makes me suspect the experience is much more obvious to the embiggee than it is to the audience nearby. Or maybe you were nearsighted? ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/29 "2014-12-30T22:45:16Z")
A tumescent spirit embiggens the smallest wang. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2014, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/30 "2014-12-30T23:31:28Z")
How did I manage to get through school in the tight pants 70’s and never notice any of the boys having this problem? ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/31 "2014-12-31T00:06:24Z")
> [@Enola\_Straight](#): > > I see you never went to Catholic School. > > Some priest or nun glaring at you…embiggenment…_impure thoughts_… **the near occasion of SIN!** For you or the priest? ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/32 "2014-12-31T00:50:24Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I just tuck it in the top of my sock and go about my day. Too much trouble. I just tie mine into a couple of knots. But for a teenager, I don’t think there _is_ a sure fire remedy. At that age your wang gets harder than Chinese Arithmetic. (As Richard Pryor so eloquently phrased it.) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/33 "2014-12-31T02:10:20Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > For you or the priest? You win the thread. Bravo, sir. Well played. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/34 "2014-12-31T02:13:12Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > How did I manage to get through school in the tight pants 70’s and never notice any of the boys having this problem? They just weren’t that into you? (Sorry. I’m sure they were.) ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/35 "2014-12-31T02:56:21Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Makes me suspect the experience is much more obvious to the embiggee than it is to the audience nearby. Most likely the case. Although some years afterwards one particular lady fessed up that indeed she had been discreetly observing and making mental notes. Of course, later in life, in venues of adult libation and musical entertainment featuring therpsichorean activities around vertical stanchions while the audience displays monetary precipitation, an ecdysiast may scan the room and if she observes a gentleman being this responsive, she may introduce herself in a very businesslike manner with a firm hearty handshake directly to the embiggenation. But that’s just salesmanship. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/36 "2014-12-31T04:07:44Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > … > Of course, later in life, in venues of adult libation and musical entertainment featuring therpsichorean activities around vertical stanchions while the audience displays monetary precipitation, an ecdysiast may scan the room and if she observes a gentleman being this responsive, she may introduce herself in a very businesslike manner with a firm hearty handshake directly to the embiggenation. But that’s just salesmanship. But if such amorous accord accelerates onward to the advancement of strumpetious coition invoking potentialities for pecuniary profits, the gendarmes of the constabulary corps may carry one into a case of incarcerative incapacities leading to enrollment and repetitive subscription onto the shameful scroll of erotogenic malefactors. ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/37 "2014-12-31T04:24:35Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > The really sad thing is that somewhere in this world there is someone for whom the mental picture of Margaret Thatcher on a cold day will actually GIVE them an “embiggenment”… Which is when you step up to Janet Reno. Nuke the problem from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/38 "2014-12-31T04:26:43Z")
> [@robert\_columbia](#): > > But if such amorous accord accelerates onward to the advancement of strumpetious coition invoking potentialities for pecuniary profits, the gendarmes of the constabulary corps may carry one into a case of incarcerative incapacities leading to enrollment and repetitive subscription onto the shameful scroll of erotogenic malefactors. amorous accord = sexual compatibility strumpetious = of or involving prostitutes or prostitution potentialities = possibilities pecuniary = of or involving money gendarmes = cops constabulary corps = police force (literally, body) incarcerative incapacities = being unable to do certain things because you are in jail repetitive subscription = recurring reregistration scroll of erotogenic malefactors = sex offender registry ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368/39 "2014-12-31T14:03:25Z")
> [@DinoR](#): > > Which is when you step up to Janet Reno. Nuke the problem from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. Wow. Just to see if there was a glory day, I did an image search… nope. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indecorous-embiggenment/708368.md?page=1)