# Independent single women: How do you confront your physical weakness? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 29, 2015, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291 "2015-08-29T15:47:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/41 "2015-08-30T03:20:28Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I primed it a bajillion times. > > When the guy came over to help, he primed it three more times (probably thought I’d forgotten to). > > Guess what, **Magiver**? The lawnmower started after his first pull. Even though it had been primed a bajillion+3 times. > > … When that happens, take a screwdriver and give the conuder valve a tap or two. It sounds like it’s sticking closed. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/42 "2015-08-30T03:28:56Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Absolutely. In my single days and also in my first marriage, I really had to handle all of the tasks. And one of my jobs was very physical, and I was the only woman doing it. > > Asking for help because you’re just not physically strong enough to do it is not a lot of fun. Paying for help? That is okay. That at least can leave the impression that maybe you could do it if you chose, or maybe that it’s really hard, so hard that there are people being paid to do it. But when you have to _ask_ because _that_ pipewrench on _that_ pipe is just beyond you, and to have men not meanly but still knowingly laugh about it, well, it sucks. > > I would just confront it head on, most of the time. “Is this a technique thing or a brute strength thing? Can I learn how to do this?” I’d ask whatever guy was helping me out. Most, when asked, would try to take the question seriously. And I’d also say, right up front, “You’re making that look easy and I know it wouldn’t be at all easy for me. Thank you.” For me, that made it better, to get it right out there and make it clear that I acknowledged what they were doing for me. Not a solution, but it was a way to make it clear that I knew that they were having to do, literally, the heavy lifting. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in feeling weird about needing help. I’ve always had this hang-up, and I know I need to relax a little. I’ve lived alone for all of my adult life, and there hasn’t been a feat too tough for me so far. I’ve moved in and out apartments all by myself. I’ve carried furniture and appliances up walk-ups all by myself. I once assembled a treadmill all by myself (the instructions explicitly said I needed to have another person…WRONG). I recently swapped out my old dining room chandelier for another light fixture all by myself. Whenever I accomplish these things, I feel great pride in myself because they DON’T come easy. I like taking on a challenge and showing “them” that I’m not a stupid little girl. So maybe that’s how I need to look at this lawnmower situation. I _will_ figure it out somehow, just like I’ve figured everything else out. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/43 "2015-08-30T03:42:44Z")
We have a cordless electric mower. Starts so easy and I can get the lawn mowed in an hour. Makes me feel like superwoman ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/44 "2015-08-30T04:08:05Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I primed it a bajillion times. When the guy came over to help, he primed it three more times (probably thought I’d forgotten to). My mistake, when you said “rolled up my sleeves, pressed the priming thingie three times” I thought you primed it three times. > [@monstro](#): > > Guess what, **Magiver**? The lawnmower started after his first pull. Even though it had been primed a bajillion+3 times. Yes, he’s the person who use to own it and knows how it likes to be primed. If it takes more than 3 primes in warm weather then there’s something wrong with it. When my mower is properly primed it starts halfway through the first pull. > [@monstro](#): > > So forgive me for ignoring everything you’ve got to say about this situation. I _know_ not to prime it too much. But I assure you that is not why the motor wouldn’t start. If you knew how to prime it why didn’t it start for you? Just asking because I rebuild small engines on the side and work with all manner of engine problems. My apologies for challenging your priming thingie expertise. Best of luck. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/45 "2015-08-30T10:46:39Z")
I realize your OP posed the question to women, but I think I have some relevant answers for you (as a guy). I’ve joked on here before that I was born with “some assembly required” and, avoiding the detaiils, have always been considerably weaker than other males my age/size. I don’t know how to measure it, but let’s just say I’ve never won an arm wrestling match in my life (or any other physical contest). Because of this, I’ve had to look for alternative methods for handling normal guy stuff. In my garage you will find a small 2:1 block and tackle hanging from the ceiling in one spot. In another there’s a full sized 1000 lb [chain hoist](http://www.harborfreight.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/i/m/image_20442.jpg). And in the corner I have a small [engine hoist](http://rent-all.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Engine-Hoist-SC-SL.jpg). These are used, as weight dictates, to lift heavy objects/toolboxes/etc into my truck bed (or wherever needed). I’ve learned to look at all situations for where I can apply leverage when I can’t do it myself. For tire changes I’ve bought much longer wrenches than those supplied with the cars. I have a decent selection of pipes (1 - 3 feet) in various diameters to use as cheater bars. I also keep [come-alongs](http://www.homedepot.com/catalog/productImages/400/bb/bbf497dc-de27-4e06-a1e8-6bd6a7d4faf6_400.jpg) of various types either in the garage or in my truck to use when I can’t heave or slide something. I love to go boating, but cannot winch my boat onto the trailer alone. So with the help of a welder, I installed [this](http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a162/rbp2/Winch_rsu_1_zps76afa8da.jpg) in my pickup bed to drag the boat up onto the trailer. I realize these solutions won’t apply exactly to your situation, but I offer them as examples and food for thought. Most any strength requirement can be overcome by brains and leverage IME. You just have to work around it somehow. Oh, and for the lawnmower. Try rolling it forward just before you yank the cord. It always gives just enough extra oomph to the pull for me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/46 "2015-08-30T12:08:27Z")
I bought a new lawnmower with [no prime, no choke engine with two-pull Starting Promise from Briggs & Stratton for reliable starts every time](http://www.lowes.com/pd_538024-270-12A-A2BU711_1z0wgdf__?productId=50119625&pl=1). And I bought a [Single-Hand Under Counter Jar Opener](https://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-single-hand-under-counter-jar-opener-1?deal_option=7b994454-4500-4113-9c6d-69c73d53ee4f&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=US_DT_SEA_GGL_TIM_TTT_PADS_CBP_CHP_NBR_g*gg-single-hand-under-counter-jar-opener-1_c*77921220061_k*_m*_d*Goods-Product-Ads_keyword*_target*_adposition*1o1_prodtarget*119826626461_adtype*pla&gclid=CLiX9pXi0McCFUGRHwodsd0Lmw). Hauling 25# of kitty litter and 50# bags of chicken feed help keep my muscles from wasting away. For everything else I can’t handle, I ask Hallgirl1 when she comes to visit. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/47 "2015-08-30T12:12:06Z")
Maybe women do have less arm strength but they can make up for it. For example they are more flexible and can get into tighter areas. They also have smaller hands and fingers. I knew a guy (a pro football player) who could not as easily change a diaper because his fingers were so big. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/48 "2015-08-30T12:28:01Z")
Opening jars is another thing that isn’t really about strength. It’s about friction and temperature. You know how sometimes, one person tries and tries and tries and can’t get it open, and then a second person does it effortlessly? The first person will sometimes joke that they loosened it up for the second, but the real truth is, they warmed it up for the second. Friction also helps, but all you need to do there is to grip it through a shirt, or even better, grip it with one of those floppy rubber things they sell for a buck specifically for opening jars. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/49 "2015-08-30T12:34:25Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in feeling weird about needing help. I’ve always had this hang-up, and I know I need to relax a little. > > I’ve lived alone for all of my adult life, and there hasn’t been a feat too tough for me so far. I’ve moved in and out apartments all by myself. I’ve carried furniture and appliances up walk-ups all by myself. I once assembled a treadmill all by myself (the instructions explicitly said I needed to have another person…WRONG). I recently swapped out my old dining room chandelier for another light fixture all by myself. Whenever I accomplish these things, I feel great pride in myself because they DON’T come easy. I like taking on a challenge and showing “them” that I’m not a stupid little girl. > > So maybe that’s how I need to look at this lawnmower situation. I _will_ figure it out somehow, just like I’ve figured everything else out. Well that’s something else entirely. I stand by my opinion that strength training is important for women, and it has many benefits beyond being able to lift things, but this sounds like you’re just being hard on yourself. You are strong and capable - you just ran into a persnickety lawnmower. Next time you start it you’ll be armed with some more knowledge and experience. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/50 "2015-08-30T14:32:54Z")
I’m a renter. My landlady hired guys to mow the lawn for years. The Big Drought a few years ago & the expanding shade of a white oak has converted the lawn into a more “natural” collection of ground covers. The tree also cools the house–& water is better expended on keeping more amusing plants alive. (When the weather is non-floody.) Some years ago I bought a chest of drawers from Ikea. Eventually I gave up & called those guys who will come out & Assemble For Pay. Bookcase experience had convinced me that screwdrivers were better than that nasty _thing_ Ikea includes. But these guys used a whole array of tools–and it took\* both\* of them to hold the chest together to commenc nailing. So I purchased a little cordless electric hand drill to help with bookcases, etc. In fact, one handyman hired by the landlady carried it away “by accident.” It was so much more “handy” that his Heavy Professional Tool. (He returned it.) Various gizmos help open jars, champagne bottles & bottles of nail lacquer. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/51 "2015-08-30T18:28:39Z")
If the mower can be started at all, it’s the choke. Or, some of them have kill switches. Make sure the switch is not turned off. You don’t need much strength to pull a mower/weedeater handle as fast as it can practically be pulled. Another trick is to shove yourself forward rapidly after the first pull and pull again sooner - the idea is the engine is already spinning, and you’re trying to get it spinning faster. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/52 "2015-08-30T20:12:58Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > Sure, since you might need to replace your air filter. > > If your mower doesn’t start, there is always an actual physical reason. Go to your local mower shop for a tune up, Monstro, and have them go over its maintenance with you. If you treat your mower right, it should easily start on the first pull and not require any great feat of strength or coordination. The good old days of my child hood. Spend Saturday with dad figuring out, and paying for, what’s wrong with the stupid mower and spend Sunday actually doing the yard work. 🙂 As an adult, I’ve been electric since day one and never regretted it. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/53 "2015-08-30T21:02:13Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > _NEVER_, under any circumstance, defeat a safety feature on a piece of machinery. Just don’t do it. Terrible idea. Seriously. Phuullease… The ‘safety’ feature that the OP is talking about is pure bullshit. And makes the machine harder to operate and IMHO much less safe. It takes your focus away from the task at hand. And to the OP- MoonMoon. If you decide to purchase a new power mower with drive to the wheels (thinking your basic 21-24 inch wide mower) avoid at all costs one with rear wheel drive. You want front wheel drive for the simple reason that all you need to do to stop it from moving is to push down, picking up the front wheels so you can reposition it. Easy peasy. Pushing down with a rear wheel drive, will only make the mower dig in and GO. No need for the half assed safety feature where you need to let go just a little to stop forward motion. Half holding on to the mower, while letting out just enough on the safety bar while not killing the engine is an accident waiting to happen. (yep. mowed more grass than id like to admit. now I plow snow) ---
**Author:** ![Sasquatch\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8491ac/32.png) [@Sasquatch\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sasquatch_1)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/54 "2015-08-31T08:16:46Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Thanks for the advice, folks. I’m gathering that it is not a matter of strength but coordination, which actually makes the thing feel more daunting. My strength is Herculean compared to my motor skills (a fact that doesn’t have anything to do with me being a “girl”. And I’m starting to realize that my weak arm isn’t particularly “girly” either. So I shouldn’t be laying the blame on my gender. This is a weak, clumsy person situation, not a women thing.) > > I might have to develop some kind of hack in addition to lifting weights. Like, maybe I need to get a clamp to hold down the safety handle so that I can pull the cord with my good arm. This won’t help for starting a chainsaw, but for something like a mower, with wheels, it can. Put it on a flat/smooth surface, roll it forward with a hard shove while holding onto the pullcord grip; as soon as you release it from the shove, pull the other direction with the cord. You’ll add the forward speed of the mower to the pull speed. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/55 "2015-08-31T08:55:15Z")
I used to mow lawns for a living as a kid - For stubborn starts I would be using my legs to get more speed - And I’m also a lefty, so positioning myself just right for the right handed pull could be a problem ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/56 "2015-08-31T10:36:55Z")
Hope this hasn’t already been mentioned… When priming, don’t give it a quick pump-pump-pump. Hold the prime button in for a full second or so before releasing each time. I’m a grown-ass man and learned this only recently, so don’t feel bad if you didn’t know. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/57 "2015-08-31T12:02:53Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Women in similar situations, do you ever feel like this? I mean, feeling embarrassed and kinda pissed off when you realize that you’re too weak to do certain things, and feeling weird about it too? Not too often. Between being a bit of a jock in my youth, and working construction jobs where being required to lift 80 pounds carry it 30 feet up a ladder was part of the job, and having a disabled spouse so I’m the strong one of the family that sort of thing doesn’t happen too often. Most women can increase their strength significantly. Lifting weights can help, but you have build up to heavier lifts, not more reps. Don’t be afraid to build up strength, unless a woman uses anabolic steriods or hormones (which she shouldn’t, anyway) she will NOT “bulk up” or look manly. Don’t forget to work on your core, too - strong arms without a strong back/belly aren’t terribly useful. There are, however, occasions, when I simply am not strong enough to do something. At which point I graciously ask for help. And mentally wish I was from Krypton. That said - some pull-start motors ARE harder to start than others. While it was kind of your neighbor to get you a lawn mower he should have made sure the motor was an easy pull. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/58 "2015-08-31T12:30:13Z")
One mower I owned had to be primed three times and sit for three minutes before it would start. The one I have is primed three times, tilted upside down, righted, and starts on the first or second pull. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/59 "2015-08-31T13:03:26Z")
I run into this all the time, **monstro**! The other day my SO managed to make me feel a little better about it. I had set up an Ikea table, the kind where you screw on the legs. I had done two legs, and a guy had done the other two. Then I wanted to take it down to paint it, and I couldn’t unscrew the two legs the guy had done. Then later two other male friends arrived and I asked them to do it. They did it so easily they were confused about what my problem was, and they were really worried that I was _that_ weak. But then my SO explained that it’s not necessarily that much of a difference in strength, it’s also duration: I was probably only slightly under the amount of strength to loosen the table legs, but twisting and twisting until I worked up a sweat and exhausted myself. The other two guys had just the right amount of strength to unscrew the legs, but that first twist is a burst of energy that only last a fraction of a second. To them it seemed like nothing, because it was so fast. It’s like that with opening jars and things, too. If you can’t immediately muster the burst of strength to open it in one go it will cost a lot of energy and you feel even weaker. Someone else who opens it in one go will look super strong, and will likely not even understand that it was difficult at all. Made me feel a little better at the time, anyway. 🙂 I’m never going to be strong. I’m plenty active, and people often think I’m strong because I use will power to get things done. But I’m just not very strong and putting a huge in a huge amount of effort makes me not-a-whole-lot stronger. So what, not having massive upper body strength has it’s upsides too, you learn to do things in a different way. Women are usually better climbers naturally, when they first start out. That’s because men try to climb using their arms too much, whereas women naturally use their legs more. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/60 "2015-08-31T13:35:32Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Pull starters are tricky & sometimes an engine will need the choke set just so and need to be primed just so to start it. Pulling it hard / fast enough to bend steel isn’t necessarily the way to start it. (You can also spray ether into the carburetor). > > Also, the yellow pages have places listed which can tune up your machine, new plugs, new oil, lube the mechanism, see if the rubber gaskets are tight. See, I think it’s all about this and has very little to do with the OP’s strength or lack thereof. This is one reason I hate lawnmowers. I dunno if they make powered lawnmowers that don’t have that pull-rope thingy to start it with. We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t make a lawnmower with a push-button start? Is it really that difficult? Or expensive? I solved the problem by buying a manual push mower. People walk by, comment on what hard work it is, but then nobody seems to want to offer to help me. So I do it the “hard” way, which is quieter, works just fine, and I don’t have to deal with keeping cans of gas around, or mixing gas and oil (Do you still have to do that?) or doing that pull rope start thing. I set the mower down on the grass and start walking around. Boom! Grass mowed. But to answer the OP, I confronted my physical weakness by finding a workout that was mostly resistance training with a little bit of cardio mixed in. I can lift my own body weight over my head. I probably could start a pull rope mower if I wanted to, but fuck those things. They need to be more simplified like every other tool and appliance. (I’m assuming electric mowers have a push button start?) Also, I don’t think lifting weights for two weeks is going to do fuck all for you. It took me about a year to get strong and start looking ripped. Personally, I’d get rid of your antique gas pull-rope starting POS mower and either invest in a nice electric one or hire a lawn service. Life is too short to fuck around with twitchy machinery that doesn’t just fire right up the first time you try to start it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291.md?page=4)