# Independent single women: How do you confront your physical weakness? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 29, 2015, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291 "2015-08-29T15:47:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/101 "2020-05-03T19:57:27Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > the feeling of shame and embarrassment a person feels can come from a genderized place. Women are constantly being told to rely on men to fix our problems. So when we stray from this advice and come against failure, it stings. It stings in a different way than when a man fails at something. It’s partly that; it’s also partly a concern about others’ perspectives. If a man isn’t capable, for whatever reason, of doing something that’s ordinarily coded male: this isn’t taken by anybody as reflecting on men in general. If a woman isn’t capable, for whatever reason, of doing something that’s ordinarily coded male: this is likely to be taken by some people as an example of how women aren’t good at man things. It’s possible to feel like you’re letting down the whole side, somehow. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/102 "2020-05-03T20:07:54Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > My point is that this standard of masculinity is often oppressive to both women and men who fall into the “weak” category. I agree with you; sorry that this was unclear. Toxic masculinity and promoting incompetence and helplessness in women come from the same beast that is patriarchy. Urging women to prioritize their hotness over developing muscle strength is part of that package too. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/103 "2020-05-03T20:34:41Z")
> [@Manda34](#): > > I am very fortunate to have inherited the feminine poise of my mother as well as the strength,stamina and high motabolism from my father. I can lift just as much weight as my brother’s and my husband but I have to weigh in on the argument. I disagree that training with weight is how to gain strength as a woman,because your a woman right,you don’t want to lose that feminine softness that is unique to being a woman. What a load of weehocky. Weight training provides numerous benefits to women, from greater strength and stamina to stronger bones. Discouraging women from weight training belongs to a different century. What next? Women shouldn’t ride bikes? Play team sports? Wear trousers? Don’t look at the outliers into extreme dieting and even use of illegal drugs - most men who use weights as part of their exercise routine never come anywhere near looking like a Mr. Universe Schwarzenegger. Even less so women, who have to push even harder than men to bulk up. Moderate to light weight training should be encouraged, not discouraged. It’s been my experience that men like healthy women - not sticks or weak, squishy things. A woman with good muscle tone and some strength is sexy. Fortunately, there is more than one way to achieve that but your disparagement of weight training is something I can not agree with. It is very much a viable option and there is nothing “unfeminine” about the results. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/104 "2020-05-03T20:44:01Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > It comes from being socialized to see lawn mowing as manly work. **monstro** and I grew up in a home where chores weren’t 100% split by gender (my father did laundry and frequently cooked), yet yard work was always something only my dad and brother were responsible for. My sisters and I were never even taught how to operate a lawnmower. It remained an object of mystery to me. I grew up in a household with no brothers, so my sisters and me got to do yardwork. As a teen my dad and I solved the yank-to-start mower problem by getting an old, unpowered push reel mower. Sure, there was some effort involved but it was effort I could actually _do_. The downside was the need to re-sharpen the blade a lot, but then, I grew up sharpening knives and scissors for family and friends so it was not that arduous for me. Of course, this is not such a great solution if you have a large yard. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/105 "2020-05-03T21:06:29Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > It’s partly that; it’s also partly a concern about others’ perspectives. > > If a man isn’t capable, for whatever reason, of doing something that’s ordinarily coded male: this isn’t taken by anybody as reflecting on men in general. If a woman isn’t capable, for whatever reason, of doing something that’s ordinarily coded male: this is likely to be taken by some people as an example of how women aren’t good at man things. It’s possible to feel like you’re letting down the whole side, somehow. Yes, this is very true. Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/106 "2020-05-03T21:50:47Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Urging women to prioritize their hotness over developing muscle strength is part of that package too. I don’t think those are contradictory things. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/107 "2020-05-03T22:03:00Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I don’t think those are contradictory things. Of course they aren’t…to you. There are people who do think a woman with biceps is unattractive. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/108 "2020-05-03T22:56:10Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Of course they aren’t…to you. There are people who do think a woman with biceps is unattractive. Human Sexuality is weird. A man can have a PhD, be attractive and kind and empathetic but if he is 5’2 many women (most) will not be interested. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/109 "2020-05-04T00:15:00Z")
Non sequiters for a $1000, Alex. Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/110 "2020-05-04T03:40:58Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > Thanks for clapping back for me, **you with the face**. My physique has never matched the feminine ideal. Boo freaking hoo. That is so not a goal of mine. > > By the way, I ditched that lawnmower shortly after my last post and got electric one. I have been using it since with no problem. > > Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk Congrats on finding Easy Mode for lawn mowing! Those things aren’t as noisy, either. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/111 "2020-05-04T04:32:36Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Human Sexuality is weird. A man can have a PhD, be attractive and kind and empathetic but if he is 5’2 many women (most) will not be interested. Prince was five foot three. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/112 "2020-05-04T04:57:09Z")
And even while being dead that guy pulls more than about any fifteen live men. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/113 "2020-05-04T11:34:32Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Prince was five foot three. And how many working class men are Prince? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/114 "2020-05-04T12:00:26Z")
I’ve known a number of very short men in my life. While their dating pool was smaller than that of a 6 foot tall millionaire, all them managed to 1) get laid and 2) eventually get married. They are at a disadvantage, but it’s far from overwhelming. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/115 "2020-05-04T13:09:45Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > And how many working class men are Prince? Has anyone posted to this thread to warn men they shouldn’t lift weights because they will scare off the opposite sex? Because this is what we are talking about here. We aren’t talking about short men and their problems getting laid. That particular topic has no relevance to this thread. There are eleventy-billion threads on the internet about men and their dating struggles. So it is frustrating seeing it being shoehorned into a discussion where it doesn’t belong not even a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/116 "2020-05-04T13:20:38Z")
It’s not just about dating struggles - it’s the notion that women maintaining a bodyform that matters to (some) men is more important than their ability to take care of themselves. That they’re a failure in life if they aren’t maintaining their “hotness”. That the only important thing a woman needs to worry about is whether or not straight men think they’re fuckable. It is defining women not as human beings but as sex objects, emphasis on objects. It’s bullshit. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/117 "2020-05-04T13:24:49Z")
So getting back to lawnmowers… I have the same issue, **monstro** , with lawnmowers. I’ve been able to start ours once in a blue moon. The _pull_ weight is much greater on gas powered motors than most people think. Heck, I’ve known men who have had issues starting one. We used to have a manual mower years ago. It was just too much of a hassle keeping up with the sharpening. I’d rather have a lawn service like we did when I was a kid. All of ones around here have waiting lists. That blows my mind in so many directions but now that I think of it, my next door neighbor is the only other person I can think of who does her lawn herself. ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/118 "2020-05-04T15:11:35Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Try exercising with [steel clubs](https://www.onnit.com/onnit-steel-clubs/?pid=198&gclid=CJfcnvbJ-ccCFVcUjgodbbAGPA). > > Stranger I’ve been working out for decades, and I’ve never seen or heard of these before. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![Kovitlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kovitlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kovitlac)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/119 "2020-05-04T15:40:01Z")
TIL from Manda34 that muscles are wholly genetic… ---
**Author:** ![Kovitlac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kovitlac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kovitlac)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291/120 "2020-05-04T15:42:21Z")
More to the point of this thread, I don’t work or or lift weights, but I’m totally for women who do. It’s their body, and I’m impressed as hell when it comes to women like Michelle McDaniel on YT. Or even women who don’t so much work out as just work in very physically demanding fields (I have a good friend who does, and was wow’d by her strength when she visited to help me move). I’m all for it, but I really don’t have the desire to be very muscled, myself. I don’t live a lifestyle where I really need to be, so I get by fine. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/independent-single-women-how-do-you-confront-your-physical-weakness/729291.md?page=7)