# Index to the LotR "What If" Thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 4, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667 "2003-01-04T21:54:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/1 "2003-01-04T21:54:37Z")
This is in alphabetical order, not thread order. I working on posting these to a web site, so any help is appreciated, just e-mail! **Literature** [ul][li]Douglas Adams[/li][li]Lousia May Alcott[/li][li]Dante Aligheri[/li][li]Ellis Amburn/Kitty Kelly/trashy bio[/li][li]Hans Christian Andersen[/li][li]Piers Anthony[/li][li]Jane Austen[/li][li]Paul Auster[/li][li]Francis Bacon[/li][li]Richard D. Bach[/li][li]Samuel Beckett[/li][li]Beowulf[/li][li]Bible (King James, St. John)[/li][li]Robert Blake[/li][li]Jorge Luis Borges[/li][li]Ray Bradbury[/li][li]Tycho Brahe[/li][li]Poppy Z. Brite[/li][li]Charlotte Bronte[/li][li]Elizabeth Barrett Browning[/li][li]Bill Bryson[/li][li]Edward George Bulwer-Lytton[/li][li]Anthony Burgess (Clockwork Orange)[/li][li]Robert Burns[/li][li]Edgar Rice Burroughs[/li][li]William S. Burroughs[/li][li]Albert Camus[/li][li]Orson Scott Card[/li][li]Lewis Carroll[/li][li]Miguel Cervantes[/li][li]Raymond Chandler[/li][li]Geoffrey Chaucer[/li][li]Samuel Taylor Coleridge[/li][li]Michael Crichton[/li][li]Agatha Christie[/li][li]Tom Clancy[/li][li]James Fenimore Cooper[/li][li]Joseph Conrad[/li][li]e.e. cummings[/li][li]Samuel R. Delany[/li][li]Philip K. Dick[/li][li]Charles Dickens[/li][li]Emily Dickinson[/li][li]Isak Dinesen[/li][li]Fyodor Dostoyevsky[/li][li]Arthur Conan Doyle[/li][li]David Eddings[/li][li]T.S. Eliot[/li][li]Bret Easton Ellis[/li][li]E.M. Forster[/li][li]Sigmund Freude[/li][li]Robert Frost[/li][li]H.P. Lovecraft[/li][li]Helen Fielding[/li][li]F. Scott Fitzgerald[/li][li]William Faulkner[/li][li]John Gardner[/li][li]James Finn Garner[/li][li]Neil Gaiman/Terry Pratchett[/li][li]William Gibson[/li][li]Gettysburg Address[/li][li]Johann Wolfgang Goethe[/li][li]Edward Gorey[/li][li]Grant/Naylor[/li][li]Winston Groom[/li][li]Laurel K. Hamilton[/li][li]Peter F. Hamilton[/li][li]Nathaniel Hawthorne[/li][li]Robert Heinlen[/li][li]Joseph Heller[/li][li]Ernest Hemmingway[/li][li]Frank Herbert[/li][li]Homer[/li][li]Nick Hornsby[/li][li]Robert E. Howard[/li][li]Victor Hugo[/li][li]Kazuo Ishiguro[/li][li]Henry James[/li][li]Robert Jordan[/li][li]James Joyce[/li][li]Franz Kafka[/li][li]John Keats[/li][li]Jack Kerouac[/li][li]Daniel Keyes[/li][li]Marian Keyes[/li][li]Steven King[/li][li]Rudyard Kipling[/li][li]Mercedes Lackey[/li][li]D.H. Lawrence[/li][li]Ursula K. LeGuin[/li][li]C.S. Lewis[/li][li]Henry Wadsworth Longfellow[/li][li]Niccolo Macchiavelli[/li][li]Sir Thomas Malory[/li][li]Nigel Marvin[/li][li]Guy de Maupaussant[/li][li]Anne McCaffrey[/li][li]William F. McGonagall[/li][li]Herman Melville[/li][li]A.A. Milne[/li][li]John Milton[/li][li]S. Morganstern[/li][li]Clement Moore[/li][li]Vladimir Nabokov[/li][li]Ogden Nash[/li][li]Friedrich Nietzsche[/li][li]John Norman[/li][li]Patrick O’Brian[/li][li]P.J. O’Rourke[/li][li]George Orwell[/li][li]Chuck Pahlaniuk[/li][li]A.B. “Banjo” Paterson[/li][li]Robert M. Persig[/li][li]Roger Tory Peterson[/li][li]Edgar Allen Poe[/li][li]Terry Pratchett[/li][li]Mario Puzo[/li][li]Ayn Rand[/li][li]Anne Rice[/li][li]John Ringo[/li][li]Spider Robinson[/li][li]J.K. Rowling[/li][li]Damon Runyon[/li][li]Antoine de Saint Exupery[/li][li]J.D. Salinger[/li][li]Sir Walter Scott[/li][li]Robert W. Service[/li][li]Dr. Seuss[/li][li]William Shakespeare[/li][li]Percy Bysshe Shelley[/li][li]“Doc” Smith[/li][li]Donald J. Sobol[/li][li]Mickey Spillane[/li][li]Michael Stackpole[/li][li]Danielle Steele[/li][li]John Steinbeck[/li][li]Neal Stephenson[/li][li]Tom Stoppard[/li][li]Sun Tzu[/li][li]Alfred Lord Tennyson[/li][li]Jim Theis[/li][li]Dylan Thomas[/li][li]Hunter S. Thompson[/li][li]Leo Tolstoy[/li][li]Mark Twain[/li][li]Jack Vance[/li][li]Jules Verne[/li][li]Virgil[/li][li]Voltaire[/li][li]Kurt Vonnegut[/li][li]Irvine Welsh[/li][li]Oscar Wilde[/li][li]William Carlos Williams[/li][li]Robert Anton Wilson[/li][li]P.G. Wodehouse[/li][li]Tom Wolfe[/li][li]Virginia Woolf[/li][li]Wordworth[/li][li]Chuck Yeager[/li][li]W.B.Yeats[/li][li]Roger Zelazny[/li][li]haiku[/li][li]D&D[/li][li]Ernest Lawrence Thayer (Casey at the Bat)[/li][li]Choose your own Adventure[/li][/ul] **TV Shows** [ul][li]Abbott & Costello[/li][li]Animaniacs[/li][li]Babylon 5[/li][li]Beavis & Butthead[/li][li]Behind the Music[/li][li]Beverly Hillbillies[/li][li]Blackadder[/li][li]Buffy TVS[/li][li]Bugs Bunny[/li][li]Captain Planet[/li][li]Chipmunks[/li][li]Steve Irwin (Croc Hunter)[/li][li]Crossing Over[/li][li]Dragnet[/li][li]DragonBall Z/Anime/Bishounen[/li][li]ESPN[/li][li]Friends[/li][li]Green Acres[/li][li]Gilligan’s Island[/li][li]Iron Chef[/li][li]Keeping Up Appearances[/li][li]Leave it to Beaver[/li][li]Matt Groening[/li][li]Monty Python[/li][li]John Madden[/li][li]Marx Brothers[/li][li]MST3K[/li][li]Muppets[/li][li]Pinky & the Brain[/li][li]Andy Rooney[/li][li]Scooby Doo[/li][li]Seinfeld[/li][li]Sesame Street[/li][li]Sopranos[/li][li]Aaron Sorkin[/li][li]South Park[/li][li]SpongeBob SquarePants[/li][li]Aaron Spelling[/li][li]Star Trek[/li][li]Survivor[/li][/ul] **Music** [ul][li]Tori Amos[/li][li]Annie[/li][li]Beatles[/li][li]Bon Jovi[/li][li]Johnny Cash[/li][li]CCR[/li][li]Bob Dylan[/li][li]Eminem[/li][li]Gilbert & Sullivan[/li][li]Grateful Dead[/li][li]Arlo Guthrie[/li][li]Ian Hunter[/li][li]Jefferson Starship[/li][li]Tom Lehrer[/li][li]Led Zeppelin[/li][li]Don McLean[/li][li]My Fair Lady[/li][li]Merry Poppins[/li][li]Oklahoma![/li][li]Queen[/li][li]Rock Opera[/li][li]Simon & Garfunkel[/li][li]Britney Spears[/li][li]Bruce Springsteen[/li][li]Sound of Music[/li][li]Supremes[/li][li]TMBG[/li][li]Shania Twain[/li][/ul] **Movies** [ul][li]Apocalypse Now[/li][li]Army of Darkness[/li][li]Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure[/li][li]Blues Brothers[/li][li]Braveheart[/li][li]Disney[/li][li]A Few Good Men[/li][li]Get Shorty[/li][li]Glengarry Glen Ross[/li][li]Hard Day’s Night[/li][li]Shaw Bros./Kung Fu[/li][li]Lucas/Star Wars[/li][li]Kevin Smith[/li][li]David Mamet[/li][li]Manos, the Hands of Fate[/li][li]The Matrix[/li][li]Pulp Fiction[/li][li]Spaceballs[/li][li]Trainspotting[/li][li]Usual Suspects[/li][li]We Were Soldiers[/li][li]Wizard of Oz[/li][/ul] **Miscellaneous** [ul][li]Ask Cesil[/li][li]Audience Participation[/li][li]Binary[/li][li]George W. Bush[/li][li]Car Talk[/li][li]Jack Chick[/li][li]CNN[/li][li]Dave Barry[/li][li]Dear Abby[/li][li]Dear Penthouse[/li][li]DeBeers Diamond Commercial[/li][li]Dr. Laura[/li][li]EULA[/li][li]EverQuest[/li][li]Fanfic[/li][li]Far Side[/li][li]Michael Flatley[/li][li]Dr. John Gray[/li][li]Jack Handy[/li][li]Paul Harvey[/li][li]Bob Hope[/li][li]Eddie Izzard[/li][li]Lamer[/li][li]Stan Lee/Spiderman[/li][li]Legalese[/li][li]Rush Limbaugh[/li][li]Dennis Miller[/li][li]Office correspondance[/li][li]The Onion[/li][li]Politcally correct[/li][li]Pseudocode[/li][li]Recipe[/li][li]Scientist diary[/li][li]Software manual[/li][li]Richard Stallman (GNU PL)[/li][li]Howard Stern[/li][li][Snopes.com](http://Snopes.com)[/li][li]Straight Dope MB[/li][li]Bill Watterson[/li][li]Zork[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/2 "2003-01-04T22:16:26Z")
😕 ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/3 "2003-01-04T22:19:40Z")
Ahem. [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=138905). ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/4 "2003-01-04T22:43:19Z")
A blessing on your head, **av8rmike**! Now do you think you could hyperlink each name to the exact post in the thread? 😃 :D&R: No, really. An outstanding job, and a work of love. Or at least obsession. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/5 "2003-01-05T00:47:54Z")
OK, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![scablet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@scablet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scablet)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/6 "2003-01-05T03:50:25Z")
Well, it’s Saturday night and everyone else seems to be engaged… so methinks I’ll just plop in this new _Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert_ DVD and work on making a nice little html index of all these. Let’s see how long **this** project lasts… wait, better get permission first. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![scablet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@scablet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scablet)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2003, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/7 "2003-01-05T03:53:24Z")
whoop, just saw that you were working on just that, **av8r**. Good luck, if you need any help I’ll be happy to try and assist, ja. ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/8 "2003-01-05T15:02:05Z")
Make it with a back-end. I can help you out if you want to do it with php/mysql, that would let people sort them in any way they wanted and you could add / remove / edit them etc as you went along. Drop a line here if you want a hand. ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/9 "2003-01-05T15:33:15Z")
Good idea, **Iteki** … unfortunately I have neither the tools nor knowledge to implement that. So far, it’s taken _hours_ just cutting & pasting everything and getting the formatting right, and I’ve only gotten 4 pages into the thread! **as\_u\_wish** , who is Jane Awesome? Is that a pun on Jane Austen I’m not familiar with? **FriarTed** , what is Dr. Jack Elrond’s Phonographic Journal? (both on page 4) ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/10 "2003-01-05T17:17:56Z")
av8rmike, thats what I am saying, I can make you tool that just asks you to paste the text, author, whatever into a form and then adds it automatically. I am sending you a mail 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/11 "2003-01-05T21:13:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Iteki \* > \*\*av8rmike, thats what I am saying, I can make you tool that just asks you to paste the text, author, whatever into a form and then adds it automatically. I am sending you a mail 🙂 \*\* I replied, and it came back to me: Diagnostic-Code: smtp;550 Sender not authorised for this system 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/12 "2003-01-05T22:17:19Z")
meep, ok you mail me _grins_ I got the interface written already 😛 all it needs is somone to cut and paste etc ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/13 "2003-01-06T00:03:30Z")
I got up to about page 7 of the big thread. My efforts [here](http://home.earthlink.net/~catelinm/LotR), open for criticism. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/14 "2003-01-06T05:43:33Z")
An entry in the [Free On-line Dictionary of Computing](http://foldoc.doc.ic.ac.uk/foldoc/index.html): **Rings of Power** \ Tools used by Sauron[/COLOR=blue] during the [COLOR=blue]Second and Third Ages in an attempt to gain ultimate power over Middle Earth. See also Elrond, Fellowship of the Ring, Galadriel, Gandalf, Gollum/Smeagol, Isildur, Gimli, Baggins, Bilbomagic, Baggins, Frodo, War of the Ring, and many others. (1761-03-06 \) Try this search on OneLook/Google * * * Nearby terms: Brown, Radagast the « Redhorn Gate « Riddermark « Rings of Power » Ringwraiths » Rivendell » Rohan ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/15 "2003-01-06T05:44:46Z")
Feck! Could someone fix that coding screw-up? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/16 "2003-01-06T05:46:58Z")
And it’s in the wrong thread no less! Argh! ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/17 "2003-01-06T11:22:15Z")
av8rmike–thanks for doing this. Yes, my Jane Awesome post was intended to be Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice. It’s pretty much a verbatim copy of the first page or so. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/18 "2003-01-06T18:41:37Z")
You forgot the Marx Brothers “A Night at the Opera” Junk. (I can say junk because I wrote it ) :o Great Index! ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/19 "2003-01-06T18:43:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BMalion \* > \*\*You forgot the Marx Brothers “A Night at the Opera” Junk. (I can say junk because I wrote it ) :o > Great Index! \*\* No you didn’t! I did not see them under ‘TV shows’ major embarrassment :o ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2003, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667/20 "2003-01-06T23:02:40Z")
Hey … instead of setting up a separate website for it, why don’t we set up a new section of [Teemings Extras](http://www.teemings.com/extras/index.html)? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/index-to-the-lotr-what-if-thread/146667.md?page=2)