# Indiana Jones and The...um, Empire of the... uh something something **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 15, 2009, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134 "2009-09-15T02:50:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/41 "2009-09-16T14:45:59Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Any sequel needs to be character driven: Indy is older and smarter and any new movie should reflect those growths. _Indiana Jones and the Existential Crisis!_ ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/42 "2009-09-16T16:08:10Z")
How about Indiana Jones and the Search for the Fountain of Youth? Except that Ponce de Leon was right about it being in Florida, but it’s in the middle of a vast theme park in the middle of state, which was built to hide it. And the creator of the park, who was believed to have been cryogenically frozen after death is actually still alive and living in the park (along with other famous people, like Elvis Presley, Thomas Edison and Mark Twain). ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/43 "2009-09-16T16:25:22Z")
_Temple of Doom_ was great…as an arcade game (“Kali-Ma will rule dee world! AIIIEEEE!”). As a film, well…if you took a drink every time Kate Capshaw screamed shrilly, you’d be dead of alcohol poisoning by the end. Horrible. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/44 "2009-09-16T16:52:03Z")
> [@fusoya](#): > > I remember being really annoyed with the movie up until they finally made it to Brazil, where it got better. Despite the capoeira-fightin’ jungle natives, the South American bits took place in southern and eastern Peru, not Brazil (Nazca region and then the western Amazon). I know this because my Peruvian-born wife spent a bit of time mentioning how they were fucking up all the details of being in Peru. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/45 "2009-09-16T16:52:41Z")
> [@Death\_of\_Rats](#): > > Yes, but only by watching Temple of Doom over and over again until you start to wonder why it doesn’t get the credit it deserves as a cinematic masterpiece and why Kate Capshaw isn’t a bigger star. a) Because it wasn’t that great b) Because everyone knows she got the part because she was the director’s mistress. As an actress she was okay, but her less screechy helpless female roles were a lot better. I would be okay with it if it were Indy telling stories in flash back mode…sort of a la Young Indiana Jones/Dustin Hoffman in Little Big Man. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/46 "2009-09-16T18:16:31Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > If we’re taking it into the '60s, how about _Indiana Jones and the Hippies of Haight-Ashbury?_ _Indiana Jones and the Magic Mushroom!_ ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/47 "2009-09-16T18:49:53Z")
> [@fusoya](#): > > Temple of Doom is the best movie…IF you’re 8 years old. As an adult, I can’t stand it, but love Last Crusade and Raiders. The only time I saw Crystal Skull, I was extremely drunk, but I remember being really annoyed with the movie up until they finally made it to Brazil, where it got better. And I think I saw the gopher from Caddyshack make at least 2 appearances, which kind of ruined it for me. Yeah, Temple was my favorite when I was a little kid, but as I got older I liked it less and less, now I like the other two equally well, with Temple as a distant third. Crystal Skull, I thought it was entertaining in parts, but it just didn’t feel like an Indiana Jones movie to me, if that makes any sense. No, the rest are not realistic, but this one is so much more far-fetched it’s ridiculous. The villains in the others (at least Crusade & Raiders) have clear motivations - they want the Ark because it would make their army invincible, and the cup gives you eternal life. Within the movie, the plots make sense even if they’re fantastical in real life. Crystal Skull doesn’t, you don’t really know why anyone is doing anything. “Old Indy” didn’t bother me, I actually thought it was handled pretty well, and while Shia LeBeof isn’t my favorite (honestly, I think I just hate his name), he was OK, too. My favorite parts were most of the ones that included Marion 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/48 "2009-09-16T19:53:11Z")
Everyone always mentions the monkeys and the refrigerator scenes as complaints of how over the top the movie is, and no mention of going over the multiple waterfalls without incident? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/49 "2009-09-16T20:09:03Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Despite the capoeira-fightin’ jungle natives, the South American bits took place in southern and eastern Peru, not Brazil (Nazca region and then the western Amazon). > > I know this because my Peruvian-born wife spent a bit of time mentioning how they were fucking up all the details of being in Peru. Oh, they’re all just alternate names for the same country anyway. You know, like Holland and the Netherlands, or China and Japan. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/50 "2009-09-16T20:26:26Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > Everyone always mentions the monkeys and the refrigerator scenes as complaints of how over the top the movie is, and no mention of going over the multiple waterfalls without incident? We were numbed to that crap after _Temple of Doom_. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/51 "2009-09-16T20:35:52Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > When you have the Refrigerator Nuclear Bunker and the Anti-Communist Monkey Army, plexiglass skulled aliens are the least of your script problems. I agree. The Aliens didn’t bother me. It was the fact that the movie just didn’t work. That and it felt like watching pieces of 5 better movies all sewn together into some kind of frankenstein’s monster. ---
**Author:** ![Musky\_Moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90db22/32.png) [@Musky\_Moon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musky_Moon)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/52 "2009-09-16T20:53:56Z")
Every time I try to think of a realistic plot device for a new Indiana Jones movie, I can’t help but think they all sound like Dan Brown novels. Damn you, Dan Brown! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/53 "2009-09-16T21:06:01Z")
Which was the one with Sean Connery? Whichever, I sat through half the movie and he still hadn’t showed, and it was so awful I walked out on it. I almost never do that. But this was _special_. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/54 "2009-09-16T22:24:45Z")
> [@Syntropy](#): > > b) Because everyone knows she got the part because she was the director’s mistress. Except she wasn’t. They didn’t hook up, in any way, until long after the film was released. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/55 "2009-09-16T23:01:26Z")
Knowing that, this means she was cast on some illusion of merit or ability. I think I had more respect when I thought she was sleeping with the guy. I mean, at least that’s an explanation I can get behind. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/56 "2009-09-16T23:55:01Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Which was the one with Sean Connery? _Last Crusade._ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2009, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/57 "2009-09-16T23:57:09Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > We were numbed to that crap after _Temple of Doom_. Yes, I remember the scene where the heroes’ runaway mining-car jumps the gap in the tracks and lands cleanly on the tracks on the other side and speeds along (the baddies’ car crashes). MY AUNT: I don’t believe it! MY MOM: That’s the first thing you don’t believe?! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/58 "2009-09-17T12:08:05Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > Knowing that, this means she was cast on some illusion of merit or ability. > > I think I had more respect when I thought she was sleeping with the guy. I mean, at least that’s an explanation I can get behind. Yeah. Wow. Really? She wasn’t just there as Spielberg’s girlfriend? Nope - can’t get my head around it. Was she sleeping with Harrison Ford? ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/59 "2009-09-17T12:19:54Z")
Indiana Jones and the Prune juice of inevitability. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134/60 "2009-09-17T18:37:05Z")
She was pretty funnyin the “Temple of Doom”. I’d also like to see son “Mutt” back in. Mybe he flick could be set in the Afghanistan war (he Pentagon gets the old man out of retirement, to fnd Bin Laden). I’d call it: “Indiana Jones and the Search for Preparation H”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/indiana-jones-and-the-um-empire-of-the-uh-something-something/510134.md?page=4)