# ineedthetruth are you a troll? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 19, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937 "2014-08-19T20:55:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/41 "2014-08-20T12:13:40Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > And people _really_ need to stop telling him to see a doctor. **Shit ain’t happening.** Don’t give him any ideas for his next thread. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/42 "2014-08-20T12:17:37Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Don’t give him any ideas for his next thread. Yeah, there’s just no limit to the ways in which gay men can mess with a person. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/43 "2014-08-20T12:37:35Z")
In all serious, **ineedthethruth** sounds like he has health anxiety\* I have a friend who has it, and you wouldn’t believe the things she has self diagnosed, or the medical tests she has convinced doctors to put her through in order to convince herself she has lung cancer, or HIV, or god knows what. She has therapy for it, but she’s still batshit about it. \*also known as hypochondria to those of little heart, like myself. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/44 "2014-08-20T12:45:06Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > In all serious, **ineedthethruth** sounds like he has health anxiety\* I have a friend who has it, and you wouldn’t believe the things she has self diagnosed, or the medical tests she has convinced doctors to put her through in order to convince herself she has lung cancer, or HIV, or god knows what. > > She has therapy for it, but she’s still batshit about it. > > \*also known as hypochondria to those of little heart, like myself. Except a hypochondriac sincerely believes themselves to be ill, hence their frequent trips to the doctor. I suspect the subject of this pitting knows that he probably isn’t ill, hence his reluctance to see a doctor. I think he just wants attention. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/45 "2014-08-20T12:50:31Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > ineedthethruth has initiated a total of seven threads during his year and a half as a registered user here. BTW, good OP! ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/46 "2014-08-20T13:14:46Z")
Maybe a poll is in order. Only choices should be A - Troll b - Idiot C - Nutjob 4 - Barbara Walters on Crack ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/47 "2014-08-20T13:59:47Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > Whoa! I had to do quite the search to find out WTF this is [referencing](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16105325&postcount=18). > Do you have some kind of speed-sorted database? > > Or is there some other reason a thread from a year and a half ago would be so uppermost in your mind? Well, we’re all experts on something; kind of why we’re here. So, we take things in turns, sort of a big tag-team free-for-all. ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/48 "2014-08-20T15:10:54Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > Except a hypochondriac sincerely believes themselves to be ill, hence their frequent trips to the doctor. I suspect the subject of this pitting knows that he probably isn’t ill, hence his reluctance to see a doctor. I think he just wants attention. I would vote for hypochondriac who is somewhat aware of his hypochondriac tendencies and realizes that posts to a message board are a lot cheaper than bi-weekly visits to the doctor, but work just as well for phantom ailments. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/49 "2014-08-20T15:14:30Z")
> [@Darth\_Panda](#): > > I’ve got two questions: > One: Where’s the fife? > Two: Give me the fife. Here’s the[Fife](http://forums.androidcentral.com/attachments/samsung-galaxy-s3/63271d1363369114t-random-social-chit-chat-barney-fife.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/50 "2014-08-20T15:15:54Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > I would vote for hypochondriac who is somewhat aware of his hypochondriac tendencies and realizes that posts to a message board are a lot cheaper than bi-weekly visits to the doctor, but work just as well for phantom ailments. With a side order of Munchausen’s. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/51 "2014-08-20T16:37:49Z")
ineedthetruth, the probability that within a year and a half that you could have all the following happen to you is absurdly small: 1. Infected by a root canal 2. Growth while an adult because of testosterone supplements 3. Change in voice while an adult because of testosterone supplements 4. Cancer caused by a root canal 5. Infected by kissing a girl with cold sores 6. Being anally raped without knowing it 7. Being cut by bumping into a stranger who has deliberately infected a knife All of these events are extremely unlikely. The probability that a single person could have all of them happen to them within a year and a half is so tiny that I could more easily believe that you had been struck by a meteorite than that all these things could happen to you. It is therefore much, much more likely that you have mental problems. Please, please, I beg you, get some psychological help. Quit wasting other people’s time with this. If you want to talk to your family doctor about alll of these things, do so. They will probably also say that you have mental problems and need psychological help. ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/52 "2014-08-20T16:44:32Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > With a side order of Munchausen’s. Now that you mentioned it, I’d say Munchausen’s is probably **ineedthetruth** ’s primary affliction. ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/53 "2014-08-20T16:49:51Z")
Please, please, as a therapist, can I ask you all to quit encouraging some of these people to go to therapists? What did we ever do to you? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/54 "2014-08-20T16:55:19Z")
Well as a the rapist I’d encourage all you to continue to encourage these people to go to the rapists. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_great_unwashed/32/4791_2.png) [@The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/55 "2014-08-20T17:02:10Z")
Doctor: I think you what you have here is a bad case of _trollumophilia_. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/56 "2014-08-20T17:52:20Z")
I think I know what happened. The dentist knew he had botched the root canal and decided to destroy **ineedthetruth** in order to cover up his crime. He broke into truth’s home and replaced all his regular shoes with elevator shoes. While there, he left slow release canisters of [sulfur hexaflouride](http://chemistry.about.com/od/demonstrationsexperiments/a/sulfurfluoride.htm) in strategic places. But he wasn’t done. The dentist is a master of disguise and has a talent for cross dressing, so he put on his best dress and seduced **ineedthetruth** in order to rub cold sores on his forehead. Later, he shoved an electric toothbrush up truth’s butt. Finally, for the coup de grace, he stabbed truth with a dental pick contaminated with Tartarpox, the deadliest disease known to the ancient order of Infernal Dental Monks. It’s the obvious explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/57 "2014-08-20T18:30:36Z")
> [@andros](#): > > I’d try prune juice first. But really, a trip to the doctor might be in order if you keep having trouble. That could explain why his ass hurts, though. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/58 "2014-08-20T18:46:15Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > That could explain why his ass hurts, though. And…we’re back. Also I must confess, I’m a little disturbed that that image of Barney Fife showed up in a thread that discusses anal rape so much. That is a combination that should not exist in my mind at any time. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/59 "2014-08-20T18:47:20Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > And people _really_ need to stop telling him to see a doctor. Shit ain’t happening. Unless **JohnClay** gives him a hand. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2014, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937/60 "2014-08-20T18:47:43Z")
> [@armedmonkey](#): > > It’s the obvious explanation. Bravo, good sir. /slowclap [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ineedthetruth-are-you-a-troll/695937.md?page=4)