# Inexplicably Stupid Restaurant Concepts **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 11, 2017, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245 "2017-04-11T16:50:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/1 "2017-04-11T16:50:10Z")
A new restaurant is opening up in town called Boiling Seafood Crawfish, promising “New Orleans style” food. Hmm, sounds tempting (I am fond of crawfish for one thing). Then I discover that the signature items are hot seafood served in a plastic bag, with no utensils available (management provides a bib and plastic gloves, for what one enthusiastic reviewer terms [“Messy Fun”](http://www.clevescene.com/cleveland/messy-fun-is-the-name-of-the-game-at-boiling-seafood/Content?oid=4878965) and a swell interactive experience).\* _“Walking into Boiling Seafood for the first time is terrifying. At each table, diners are hunched over what looks to be a gory heap, dismembering pieces parts with their bare hands and gobbling them up like extras in the Walking Dead. The fact that the restaurant is small and dim – a former Chinese carry-out – only seems to heighten the anxiety… Whether it’s cracking crabs by the Chesapeake, dunking Maine steamer clams in butter, or attacking a mountain of boiled crawfish deep in Cajun Country, the most enjoyable seafood experiences are usually a god-awful mess. Good luck finding a messier meal in town than this one. At one point, I literally was picking shrimp shells out of my hair, and I’m pretty confident that I ruined a perfectly good pair of pants.”_ Note to reviewer: it’s eminently possible to get through a heap of steamers without ruining your clothes, and I’ve had lots of good crawfish dinners without needing to dissect the tiny goddamn things out of their shells.\*\* Whoever dreamed up this communal dining equivalent of mud-wrestling, include me out. Any other Fun concepts out there that need to be thrown in the dustbin of restaurant history? \*Not sure what the brown crud on the corn in the photo is, but I’m betting it’s either corn silk the chef left in place to enhance your “messy fun”, or possibly crawfish excrement for that authentic New Orleans touch. \*\*I do occasionally get cold peel and eat shrimp at restaurants, which is kind of messy, but would be less so if the idjits would stop sprinkling spice on the shrimp shells which leaves a bunch of residue on your hands. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/2 "2017-04-11T16:56:06Z")
Don’t ever go to a lobstah shack. There, people tear apart GIANT sea-bugs and gobble them down. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/3 "2017-04-11T16:59:53Z")
As usual. SNL was prescient. [Troff “N” Brew script.](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/77/77rtroff.phtml) (couldn’t find a video) > [@](#): > > [dissolve to the interior of the Troff ‘n’ Brew, Male Patron #1 leaning over a bucket drinking beer straight from the tap as Waitress #1 works the spigot. He then dunks his head into the bucket of beer.] > > [slow pan across the chili trough, as various patrons lean over to eat their lunch, including Ray Swangen and his buddy] > P.A. V/O: The Troff ‘n’ Brew is closing for a one half-hour hosedown. Please stop feeding, pay your check, and LEAVE by the MAIN exit present! > > [Waitress #2 begins hosing off patrons’ faces] > > P.A. V/O: Please deposit your bibs in the Bib Bin and head to the MAIN exit! One half-hour hosedown – > > [patrons corral toward the exit like cattle, and make just as much noise in the process] ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/4 "2017-04-11T17:14:50Z")
Except for fondue, which I love, I don’t want to make my own anything. I’m going out to have people bring me food and take away the dirty dishes. That’s all I can think of. Sorry, I’m not exciting. Oh, wait. I also don’t care for cutesy kuntry kitchen type places. I don’t want to drink out of a Mason jar. ---
**Author:** ![Reno\_Nevada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Reno\_Nevada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reno_Nevada)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/5 "2017-04-11T17:46:36Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Then I discover that the signature items are hot seafood served in a plastic bag, with no utensils available…I’ve had lots of good crawfish dinners without needing to dissect the tiny goddamn things out of their shells. > . The hell? What kind of crawfish dish were you eating, and what kind of utensil were you using? Crawfish Alfredo at Red Lobster or something? Crawfish New Orleans style is pretty much guaranteed to be boiled whole in spices along with potatoes and corn. The corn will be left with a coating of spices, which includes a lot of red pepper. You crack the crawfish with your bare hands. It is a huge mess and takes a long time to eat. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/6 "2017-04-11T17:53:05Z")
When I was a kid in the early eighties a mall in my area had a “Sophie’s Choice” themed restaurant. Didn’t last long. Also, anyone who opens a place on that one corner- you know the one. Has anything there lasted longer than six months? ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/7 "2017-04-11T17:54:16Z")
Yeah, I’m not keen on the plastic sack, but a boil is a beautiful thing. Shrimp, potatoes, mussels, clams, crawfish, corn, potatoes, onions, and peppers coated with spices when it comes out of the boil. Poured onto a platter for 2-4-6. Plan on being hungry and having time to eat. And yes, I definitely don’t wear my best clothes to a boil. I’m guessing you wouldn’t care for Joe’s on Tybee Island that has both feral cats and alligators. ---
**Author:** ![nightshadea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7ba0ec/32.png) [@nightshadea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nightshadea)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/8 "2017-04-11T18:08:32Z")
no offense but when ya go for a NO crawfish boil and they don’t have yesterdays paper spread out on a picnic table its the start of somethings wrong … ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/9 "2017-04-11T18:21:47Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > Oh, wait. I also don’t care for cutesy kuntry kitchen type places. I don’t want to drink out of a Mason jar. That was one of the charms of a college area brewpub in Tucson. They served beer in one-pint Mason jars. They also had a booth in which Linda (Eastman) McCartney had carved her initials when she was attending the University of Arizona. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/10 "2017-04-11T18:27:05Z")
There’s Lambert’s Cafe in Sikeston MO, home of the “throwed rolls”. They literally chuck them at you from across the restaurant. My dad got beaned by one once - a combination of bad eyesight and poor reflexes. ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/11 "2017-04-11T18:39:32Z")
The type of restaurant in the OP can be found commonly in the Southeast. I suppose the mistake they made would be opening it in Cleveland, where that style is unknown. It would be like opening a spaghetti-covered-in-chili restaurant in Mississippi. There used to be a steak restaurant called “U-R Cooks”. Their gimmick was that you cooked your own steaks at open grills in the middle of the restaurant. You’d stand there cooking your steak just like you would do at home, only paying more for the privilege. We used to joke they were going to open another restaurant called “U-R Dishwashers”. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/12 "2017-04-11T19:15:34Z")
> [@filmore](#): > > There used to be a steak restaurant called “U-R Cooks”. Their gimmick was that you cooked your own steaks at open grills in the middle of the restaurant. You’d stand there cooking your steak just like you would do at home, only paying more for the privilege. We used to joke they were going to open another restaurant called “U-R Dishwashers”. Those places were popular in the Midwest in the 1980s, only they charged LESS if you cooked your own - $1, IIRC. They were fun places to go to if you were with a large group. ETA: The one I went to wasn’t, to my knowledge, part of a chain. The novel “Cat’s Eye” had a character who proposed a restaurant where you select your own food out of the refrigerator, cook it yourself, and clean up afterwards. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/13 "2017-04-11T19:18:08Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ecks](#): > > Also, anyone who opens a place on that one corner- you know the one. Has anything there lasted longer than six months? There was “that corner” in my old town. One of the failed concepts was a sit-down restaurant that I will admit had wonderful food and great ambiance; the place seated about 30 people total, and had about 5 parking spaces within a 2-block radius. :smack: However, one reason that restaurant failed was because one of the owners failed to tell authorities that he was a sex offender, and also embezzled a lot of the restaurant’s money. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/14 "2017-04-11T19:52:39Z")
> [@Reno\_Nevada](#): > > The hell? What kind of crawfish dish were you eating, and what kind of utensil were you using? Crawfish Alfredo at Red Lobster or something? One of my favorites is the crawfish platter at Pappadeaux (typically comes with fried crawfish and crawfish etoufee, pictured [here](https://randomlyedible.com/2014/04/07/pappadeaux-see-food-and-eat-it/). Given the amount of meat in a crawfish, I don’t want to waste time dissecting them en masse. I’ll happily pay someone else to do it for me. Oh, and every place I’ve ever eaten lobster at (including the world-famous Nunan’s Lobster Hut) provides tableware. And I’ve never been one to bother with lobster bibs.\* I suspect the real motivation behind the “New Orleans experience” at the restaurant described in the OP is the owners’ desire to save money by not having to shell the seafood and not needing to stock utensils. (Pity the cleanup crew that has to swab down the tables and floors). > [@BeeGee](#): > > I’m guessing you wouldn’t care for Joe’s on Tybee Island that has both feral cats and alligators. Alligator, OK. I’m not into the idea of eating feral cats. Maybe we could have a theme restaurant chain where you bring your pets to dine with you, [no matter what they are](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E_0f9ho1NWc/UJpoMFlH2oI/AAAAAAAABx4/hAN54K_AbGE/s640/bkfly.jpg). \*which reminds me of one of my favorite Gahan Wilson cartoons of the guy in the lobster bib, uneasily contemplating a jury box full of lobsters. \*\*I like drinking out of Mason jars. I have several at home for that purpose. ---
**Author:** ![filmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7993a0/32.png) [@filmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/filmore)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/15 "2017-04-11T20:09:27Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I suspect the real motivation behind the “New Orleans experience” at the restaurant described in the OP is the owners’ desire to save money by not having to shell the seafood and not needing to stock utensils. (Pity the cleanup crew that has to swab down the tables and floors). Saving money on utensils is probably not the case. The way you generally eat at a crawfish boil is with your hands, whether at a restaurant or in your backyard. You could use utensils, but it would be odd in the same way that eating NY pizza with a fork and knife is odd. Typically the tables have some type of disposable covering, like newspaper, to help with cleanup. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/16 "2017-04-11T20:40:54Z")
There was a restaurant in Anchorage that was apparently trying to riff off of Kramer’s “make-your-own-pizza” idea. It lasted about 30 seconds. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/17 "2017-04-11T20:42:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **Johnny Ecks** : > > Also, anyone who opens a place on that one corner- you know the one. Has anything there lasted longer than six months? _Every_ restaurant is built on “that one corner”. The location isn’t special; the business is. Running a restaurant successfully is a lot harder than most people think, and requires a very different skill set, with the result that most restaurants fail very quickly. So you get one place open up somewhere, and unsurprisingly, it fails. It’s followed by another, and another, and unsurprisingly, they fail too. Eventually, if the place isn’t torn down, you get management in who has the knack for business, and you get a restaurant that sticks around for decades. Until the owner retires, and then the cycle starts again. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/18 "2017-04-11T21:58:39Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > Except for fondue, which I love, I don’t want to make my own anything. I’m going out to have people bring me food and take away the dirty dishes. > > That’s all I can think of. Sorry, I’m not exciting. > > Oh, wait. I also don’t care for cutesy kuntry kitchen type places. I don’t want to drink out of a Mason jar. +100 for the fondue thing. Here’s $35, can I please cook my own food? Thanks!:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/19 "2017-04-11T22:05:19Z")
[Passing off baked goods purchased from a store as your own.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=690945) ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2017, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245/20 "2017-04-11T22:10:28Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > \*Not sure what the brown crud on the corn in the photo is, but I’m betting it’s either corn silk the chef left in place to enhance your “messy fun”, or possibly crawfish excrement for that authentic New Orleans touch. > \*\*I do occasionally get cold peel and eat shrimp at restaurants, which is kind of messy, but would be less so if the idjits would stop sprinkling spice on the shrimp shells which leaves a bunch of residue on your hands. My time in Mississippi was made all the more enjoyable by meals you just described - you drive by a shack on the side of the road on the way home from work, tell them how many people you need to feed (or how many pounds), and they give you a plastic bag (which is \*maybe \*inside of a cardboard box, but not always (or usually)) filled with boiled crawfish, potatoes and 1/2 corns. All of which are covered in a delicious seasoning mess. You then eat it with your hands - either all hunched over around the box/bag, or if you’re extremely fancy, you pour the giant mess onto a picnic table covered in newspaper. Sign me up! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/inexplicably-stupid-restaurant-concepts/784245.md?page=2)