# Infants Fly Free! Hurray! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 1, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529 "2012-05-01T17:06:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/1 "2012-05-01T17:06:51Z")
A few days ago I poked my nose into the BBQ Pit for some reason I cannot remember, and was drawn immediately to this thread, the enticingly named [Infants Fly Free](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=648851). Imagine my disappointment when it was not, as I imagined when I clicked, about winged infants soaring overhead, free, at last, to fly as they desired. No, of course it was some dumb old rant from somebody pissed that babies didn’t have to pay to fly in airplane, yet he was forced to listen to their squalling. As if babies could pay. They don’t even have _pockets_! :rolleyes: Well listen here, buddy. Just put your good old imagination to work and think of things like happy flying babies, naked and cute, zooming around thick as flies on a hot summer day. Knock back a few bourbon and cokes and a little boo-hoo’ing will just roll off like water off a duck’s back. Babies! Let them fly free! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/2 "2012-05-01T17:10:09Z")
I thought it was bad enough when a bird would fly directly overhead and I’d cringe slightly, wondering whether I should have worn a hat (why yes, I was shat upon by a bird once; it hit my shoulder)… no way do I want to have to think about dodging a bunch of Cupid-wannabes! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/3 "2012-05-01T17:30:18Z")
Does that come before or after crawling? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/4 "2012-05-01T17:32:14Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > A few days ago I poked my nose into the BBQ Pit for some reason I cannot remember, and was drawn immediately to this thread, the enticingly named [Infants Fly Free](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=648851). > > Imagine my disappointment when it was not, as I imagined when I clicked, about winged infants soaring overhead, free, at last, to fly as they desired. No, of course it was some dumb old rant from somebody pissed that babies didn’t have to pay to fly in airplane, yet he was forced to listen to their squalling. > > As if babies could pay. They don’t even have _pockets_! :rolleyes: > > Well listen here, buddy. Just put your good old imagination to work and think of things like happy flying babies, naked and cute, zooming around thick as flies on a hot summer day. Knock back a few bourbon and cokes and a little boo-hoo’ing will just roll off like water off a duck’s back. > > Babies! Let them fly free! 🆒 I think you’re my favorite Mod of all. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/5 "2012-05-01T17:33:28Z")
Aw cute naked babies. I wish I was a braver person, I’d let my daughter crawl around without her diaper more often. By which I mean, it would happen sometimes as opposed to not at all… ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/6 "2012-05-01T17:47:31Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I thought it was bad enough when a bird would fly directly overhead and I’d cringe slightly, wondering whether I should have worn a hat (why yes, I was shat upon by a bird once; it hit my shoulder)… no way do I want to have to think about dodging a bunch of Cupid-wannabes! :eek: The eagles they fly high in Abilene The eagles they fly high in Abilene The eagles they fly high and they Ptttt right in your eye Aren’t you glad that cows don’t fly in Abilene. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/7 "2012-05-01T18:18:38Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I thought it was bad enough when a bird would fly directly overhead and I’d cringe slightly, wondering whether I should have worn a hat (why yes, I was shat upon by a bird once; it hit my shoulder)… no way do I want to have to think about dodging a bunch of Cupid-wannabes! :eek: Yeah, my first thought was that I’m going to start taking an umbrella everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/8 "2012-05-01T18:25:05Z")
Outlaw infant car-seats = infants fly free!! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/9 "2012-05-01T18:45:34Z")
Go away, kayaker. 😛 I bring up babies, most of you think of poop. I might have known. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/10 "2012-05-01T18:47:55Z")
Im’a need a _big_ fly-swatter. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/11 "2012-05-01T18:53:29Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > I bring up babies, most of you think of poop. I might have known. You brought up FLYING babies. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/12 "2012-05-01T19:21:29Z")
Oh sure, it sounds good at first. Then… “Who left the window open? Junior flew out again!” “No, we can’t buy a convertible. You know how that attracts flying babies” “I want to pit parents who can’t be bothered to control their flying children” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/13 "2012-05-01T19:27:32Z")
They will have to establish “no flying baby zones” around airports. Bird strikes are bad enough, but “baby strikes”…? Even worse. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/14 "2012-05-01T19:36:19Z")
I want some of what the OP is imbibing. 😃 Oh, and on the topic - that flying babies pit thread makes me think of this sculpture: > **[EverFunny.com is For Sale | BrandBucket](https://www.brandbucket.com/names/everfunny?source=ext)** > > Buy the domain name EverFunny.com and launch your business with a premium domain and a high quality logo. I do _not_ want some of what that scuptor was imbibing. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/15 "2012-05-01T20:20:42Z")
I love it. All the goofiness of the original pit title with enhancement from clever kidders. Whee! Let’s move on to flying felines. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/16 "2012-05-01T20:31:42Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Let’s move on to flying felines. Let’s NOT move on to flying felines. Unless you’re talking about King Moonracer. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/17 "2012-05-01T20:40:44Z")
A friend of ours said that there was nothing that couldn’t be made worse by adding ‘flying’. Ants. Flying ants. Snakes. Flying snakes. Toddlers. _Flying_ toddlers. Having my baby or toddler able to fly is one of the worst things I can imagine. Where would I hide the toothpaste and dvds and medication if they could _fly_? Also, my three month olds do have pockets. Why do manufacturers put pockets on clothes for kids who can’t even move their arms on purpose? They don’t have any money, though, because so far they’re stubbornly refused to go out and get jobs. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/18 "2012-05-01T20:46:10Z")
Ha, you’re right Lissla! I amused myself one day when, putting baby jeans in the washer, I checked the pockets, out of habit (I have teenagers and a husband and the _things_ they leave in their pockets!) :dubious: But babies, nope, no quarters, candy wrappers, or jump drives. Maybe that’s where they keep their jet fuel. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/19 "2012-05-01T20:50:59Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Let’s move on to flying felines. But felines have the propensity to lose control and splash quite nastily on the ground, so that it takes a whole team to properly identify their remains. This is the origin of the song “My Cat, it has Three Coroners.” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529/20 "2012-05-01T21:32:36Z")
> [@Gedd](#): > > Does that come before or after crawling? You have to crawl before you can fly. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infants-fly-free-hurray/620529.md?page=2)