# Infertility **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 28, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333 "2012-12-28T01:50:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/81 "2013-01-01T14:21:56Z")
On one hand, I want to smack **brazil84** with the fattest hardcopy book I can find. On the other, I think that fertility issues should be part of sex ed, which I guess puts them somewhat on government’s roof (education isn’t _fully_ the government’s responsibility, parents can’t just drop the kids in school and expect them to learn manners, healthy eating and math while the parents eat roast-chicken flavored chips in front of a screen). ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/82 "2013-01-01T16:59:39Z")
> [@duchessofdork](#): > > Would your doctor be willing to prescribe Clomid and/or Femara without you having to do the IUI with it? Very rarely does it result in multiple births-- I mean, there’s a slight chance of twinning, but high-order multiples don’t really become an issue unless you’re on injectables. > > And, if your doctor WON’T, I know this is the world’s least advisable idea, but there are theoretically forums out there that can walk you through obtaining the medicine from, say, Canada, and doing it yourself. Again, this would be REALLY, REALLY harmful with injectibles, but with just Clomid or Femara, not so much. Not that I would know. Not that it happens. :hide: The thing is, I’m ovulating fine, just late. When we discussed IUI, I asked about Clomid + timed intercourse, and the doc said that’s not going to be much different than what we’re already doing, which hasn’t been working. And I wouldn’t try a DIY Clomid cycle. **No way** am I going unmonitored on fertility drugs. Last thing I need is to have a half dozen eggs pop and end up with triplets. I know people do it all the time, and most people are fine, but I have the world’s shittiest luck sometimes, and I know I’d get into trouble somehow. After a long talk with my husband, we’ve set “first cycle after our February vacation” as our IUI cycle. I think that’s reasonable. I’ve been having a really, really hard time not thinking about babies and failures and loneliness and unfairness this week. But now that 2012 is gone and I kicked it in its metaphorical face as it left, maybe a new year will help me figure it all out. I found a couple more online support groups (thank you to those to PM’d me) and I will get involved with a real one soon. I will likely be making the IF and miscarriage public in the next few months, and my husband will need to get used to it. I don’t think I can go through the IUI process without an outlet for the pressure. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/83 "2013-01-01T17:39:42Z")
You have lots of support on here from those of us who have gone through it too. 🙂 I also had a rough Christmas being around all the kids, plus a couple of pregnancy announcements. I’m glad it’s over and I can get back to living life in my infertility bubble for a while. I hope you are able to take care of yourself in January before you start up again. 🙂 As a data point, I did three unmonitored Clomid cycles before we did IUI’s. By unmonitored, I mean it was under the guidance of my RE, but no ultrasounds or bloodwork, just TI at a positive OPK. Might be an option to consider, but if you’re ready for IUI in February, go for it. Are you doing Clomid IUI’s or injects? ETA: I also ovulate just fine, with pretty much textbook cycles. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/84 "2013-01-01T17:46:06Z")
I have one kid, so probably a lot of people dealing with infertility understandably don’t feel bad for me, but I had my kid almost 13 years ago when I was barely 18, so I never got to have a good pregnancy or early-motherhood experience. And now, I don’t think I could get pregnant if I tried. Everything was totally normal before I got pregnant, and for some reason no one knows or cares about (I’ve been to a LOT of doctors over the years), ever since then everything has been all messed up. I think this makes me be careless with birth control, just to see 😕 And every man I’ve been in a serious relationship with really wants kids, so I have to deal with either telling them or not. But my point is, I understand pretty well, albeit from a fucked-up POV. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/85 "2013-01-01T18:39:35Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > For the same reason the government warns people about the negative effects of cigarette smoking and alcohol consumption while pregnant, i.e. to promote general health, safety, and/or welfare. > > Well how would that work? A childless 25-year old girl goes to her gynecologist for a checkup and the doctor tells her that if she wants to have children, better that she should start sooner rather than later? I guess it’s okay but that sort of unsolicited advice has the potential to undermine the doctor/patient relationship. Well, if she’s getting birth control information, that would be a good time to ask about any future plans, wouldn’t it? Besides, I really think there’s a fair amount of public information anyway about women’s “biological clock,” isn’t there? ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/86 "2013-01-01T19:12:20Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > Well, if she’s getting birth control information, that would be a good time to ask about any future plans, wouldn’t it? Perhaps. But it’s always a bit touchy when the doctor gives advice outside the scope of the consultation. For example if a fat person goes to the doctor for a skin condition and the doctor tells him to lose weight. > [@](#): > > Besides, I really think there’s a fair amount of public information anyway about women’s “biological clock,” isn’t there? It’s out there but I don’t think it’s as prominent as it needs to be. This is just based on my general observations. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/87 "2013-01-01T19:41:39Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > Perhaps. But it’s always a bit touchy when the doctor gives advice outside the scope of the consultation. For example if a fat person goes to the doctor for a skin condition and the doctor tells him to lose weight. More than even touchy. I went to a doctor once for an annual pap and I weighed 126 and she told me to keep it under 125 (I’m 5’4). I never went to her again, and I go to other doctors far less often that I probably should, because of that type of shit. An overweight person (of which I was not one) generally knows they’re overweight. A person being careless with birth control (of which I just admitted I am) generally knows they’re being careless with birth control. A smoker (of which I’ve never been) generally knows smoking is dangerous. Giving them unsolicited advice about things they indicate they already know is just a good way to scare them off from seeking medical care for other reasons. ---
**Author:** ![rivulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rivulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rivulus)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/88 "2013-01-02T02:54:07Z")
**Antigen** , in case a little reassurance would help… I went through seven IUI cycles before conceiving my son. If you’ve had the vaginal ultrasounds (heck, if you’ve even ever had a pap smear), I think you might find the actual IUI procedure pretty uneventful. Physically, that is. In terms of its invasiveness. Now psychologically, it’s a whole other story. You know that already. But this is how I got through it emotionally… and maybe this approach could help you. It’s worth asking the doctor/nurse if your husband can push the syringe after it’s inserted for the IUI. OK, I know it sounds silly on some level, but for us it made a difference that we were both involved in “conceiving” this child. If not in the traditional physical manner, then certainly in our hearts, minds, and souls – as well as in a non-traditional physical manner. We did it together. And we took ownership of that moment. That was the important thing. Anyway, hope that helps. ---
**Author:** ![duchessofdork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@duchessofdork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duchessofdork)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/89 "2013-01-02T07:52:23Z")
> [@rivulus](#): > > **Antigen** , in case a little reassurance would help… I went through seven IUI cycles before conceiving my son. If you’ve had the vaginal ultrasounds (heck, if you’ve even ever had a pap smear), I think you might find the actual IUI procedure pretty uneventful. Physically, that is. In terms of its invasiveness. > > Now psychologically, it’s a whole other story. You know that already. But this is how I got through it emotionally… and maybe this approach could help you. It’s worth asking the doctor/nurse if your husband can push the syringe after it’s inserted for the IUI. OK, I know it sounds silly on some level, but for us it made a difference that we were both involved in “conceiving” this child. If not in the traditional physical manner, then certainly in our hearts, minds, and souls – as well as in a non-traditional physical manner. We did it together. And we took ownership of that moment. That was the important thing. > > Anyway, hope that helps. We did this. I also had my hubs give the trigger shot. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2013, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333/90 "2013-01-02T11:33:10Z")
> [@rivulus](#): > > But this is how I got through it emotionally… and maybe this approach could help you. It’s worth asking the doctor/nurse if your husband can push the syringe after it’s inserted for the IUI. OK, I know it sounds silly on some level, but for us it made a difference that we were both involved in “conceiving” this child. If not in the traditional physical manner, then certainly in our hearts, minds, and souls – as well as in a non-traditional physical manner. We did it together. And we took ownership of that moment. That was the important thing. > > Anyway, hope that helps. That does help. That’s not something I even thought to ask about at the last meeting where we discussed moving to IUI, but I’ll bring it up before we start the cycle. It would mean a lot to me (and probably to him) to have him involved in that way instead of just being a passive observer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/infertility/645333.md?page=4)